A Year to Remember(88)

One of the Twelve Steps is to make amends to those we’ve harmed. I wasn’t on that Step yet, but I believed my Higher Power had different ideas. I couldn’t let this opportunity pass me by.

“I’m sorry, Missy. I’m sorry I took advantage of you. I’m sorry for what I said and for everything. I’m sorry.” I started to cry, but I didn’t get hysterical. I allowed myself to feel the pain and acknowledged it.

“I’m sorry, too. I shouldn’t have blamed you for not having the same feelings about me that I had for you. You’re right. I used you as an excuse to keep myself from getting hurt by putting my heart out there. I wanted to call you so many times, but I didn’t know if you wanted to talk to me.”

“Me, too.” I hugged her. “Are you and Lori an item?” I whispered in her ear.

She grinned and shook her head. “We went on a couple of dates, but there wasn’t any chemistry.” She paused. “I know congratulations are in order. I saw you and Caleb get engaged on TV.”

“We’re not together anymore, but that’s a story for another time,” I said, not wanting to waste our time complaining about my life. “Why don’t I introduce you to my friends?” I brought her over to Hannah and Alison.



“This is Alison and Hannah. And this is Missy.”

“How do you guys know each other?”

“We went to Israel together,” Hannah answered, smiling shyly at Missy. Since when did Hannah act shy?

“You went to Israel? I want to hear all about it.”

“Why don’t we meet at our coffee shop tomorrow morning around eight?”

“You, up at eight? What happened to the girl I used to know?”

“I grew up.”

Missy nodded in understanding. We had both grown and changed in these last months. I didn’t know if we’d have the same friendship as before, but I felt confident Missy would remain a part of my life.

The saleslady returned to our side. “Would you like some cleaning solution for your purchase?”

Missy’s eyes opened wide. “You’re getting a sex toy?”

“A lot’s changed since we’ve last talked.”

“We thought it was about time that Sara got over Adam.” Hannah chuckled, while touching Missy on her shoulder.

“Adam? Adam Goldman?” Missy screeched. “I thought you guys couldn’t stand each other! I should have known it was foreplay. I want to hear all the details!”

“I ... we’re not ...” I couldn’t keep the tears from falling.

Alison gave me a hug while Lori returned and asked what she had missed. Alison pointed to the oversize penis substitute I held in my hand, and we all started laughing, including me, which resulted in a case of the hiccups.

“I know you, don’t I?” Lori asked Hannah.

Hannah placed her hands on her hips and tilted her head in contemplation.

“I got it! We hooked up once at that club with the cages!” Hannah said.

Confused, I turned to Alison.

“She’s bi,” Alison explained.

Missy seemed very pleased to hear this tidbit of information and it occurred to me Hannah had been lightly flirting with Missy earlier.

How would I feel if Hannah and Missy became a couple? The old Sara would have been jealous, but the new Sara wanted both of them to be happy and if it worked out between them, I’d be thrilled. As if she could read my mind, Alison smiled and nodded.

I paid for my brand new vibrator, and we all went out for coffee, leaving Ron behind. Hannah and Missy sat next to each other trying to pretend they weren’t sneaking peeks at one another. It was rather cute.

While we drank our coffee, decaf for me, I got a chance to see the changes in Missy. From the outside, she was the same perky blonde, but I no longer recognized her inside. She was softer and quieter, with an air of contentment I envied.

“You’ve lost weight,” Missy commented. “On another diet?”

“No. I’m done with diets.”

“Well, whatever you’re doing, it’s working. Not just your weight, either. You seem, I don’t know what the word is ... peaceful. Like you’re happy with who you are now.”

“I was just thinking the same about you.”

She thought about her next comment before asking, “Are you still trying to get married by thirty?”

I shook my head. “I realize now I can’t force it to happen. When the time is right, I’ll get married. Or not. It no longer matters to me.” That sounded very convincing. I almost believed it, too.

“And Adam? What happened between you two?”

I didn’t want to talk about it, so I told her fast, without taking a breath. “We were both on the same Israel trip. He admitted he’s wanted me for years, told me he loved me, made me admit I loved him, gave me the most amazing sex I’ll ever have, and then confessed he never wants to get married.”