I changed in a bathroom stall, bumping into the walls and banging my knees against the door. I wish I could learn to feel comfortable naked around other women, but I won’t hold my breath. I’ve hated changing in public since middle school.
I decided to tackle the treadmill first. Ten minutes into it, I felt my thighs burning in agony. I hadn’t realized how out of shape I had gotten, especially since Israel. I vowed to buy some music for my iPod for musical motivation. Today, I plugged my headphones into the television, but I couldn’t find anything interesting to watch. I settled on the local news.
Since I’m usually not home during the weekdays, I never gave a thought of who the target audience was for daytime television. Judging by the commercials, I’d guess retirees and stay-at-home mothers. I had never seen this many commercials for sanitary napkins, diapers, retirement homes, diets, and bariatric surgery in my life. I scanned the gym and found most of the people were elderly, with a few younger women scattered throughout. Working out with the elderly is definitely less intimidating than working out with a bunch of hard bodies.
After thirty minutes of low intensity walking, I gave up. I turned off the treadmill and stepped onto the floor. I hadn’t anticipated feeling like I was still walking on the equipment and grew dizzy as my legs buckled under me. The next thing I knew I was sitting on the floor of the gym. I wanted to quickly get up before anyone noticed.
“Are you okay?” a man standing behind me asked.
Of course. Someone was always around to catch my embarrassing moments. At least this time, it wasn’t Adam. Based on the statistical data of the room, the man standing behind me should be well into his seventies.
I turned around. No such luck. Of course he was a good-looking man in his thirties.
“Thanks, I’m fine. I just got a little dizzy as I got off the treadmill.”
“You’re Sara, right?”
“Um, yeah. I’m sorry, do I know you?” These days, people all over the Metro-Detroit area knew my name, and he didn’t look familiar.
“I’m Nate. We went to Israel together.”
“I’m sorry. Of course. How are you?”
“I’m good. How have you been?”
God, I hate small talk. Especially with handsome Jewish men.
“I’m good,” I answered, lying through my teeth.
“How’s your husband?”
My heart stopped. “My husband?”
“Yeah, Adam, right?”
I laughed at the irony. Nate must have thought I was crazy. Maybe he was right.
“He’s not my husband.”
“Boyfriend?”
I shook my head. He looked at his feet.
“I’m sorry. I just assumed ... you seemed pretty serious.”
“Things are a bit confusing at the moment. Don’t worry, you didn’t offend me.”
Nate seemed like a nice guy. At an earlier time in my life, I’d probably try and hit on him.
“I understand confusing.” He smiled.
“You do?” I asked, genuinely interested.
“Yeah. My boyfriend and I just broke up, but we’re still sleeping together. I’d say that’s confusing, wouldn’t you?”
Of course, I would have hit on him! He’s gay!
“I’d have to agree. That’s quite confusing.” I liked Nate instantly. He had a quality about him which made him easy to talk with. I needed someone like him in my life.
“Would you want to get lunch with me?”
“I wish I could, but I’m meeting a client here in a few minutes. I’m a personal trainer.”
“Really? Wow. You exercise for a living?” There wasn’t enough money in the world to make me want to exercise all day.
“I help my clients, but I don’t workout with them. I was a fat, gay kid. When I got tired of the bullying, I started weight training. I’ve been doing it ever since.”
“Wow, well good for you,” I said, not quite sure what else to say to him.
“Listen, I’m going to services tonight. It’s the first time I’ve had to go alone since my ex used to go with me. Would you like to join me?”
I wasn’t into attending services at synagogue, but I was searching for my Higher Power. Where else would a Jewish girl like me find her Higher Power?
“Sure, I’d like that,” I responded.
Nate and I exchanged information and agreed to meet at the synagogue. It turned out he belonged to the same congregation as me.
I left the gym wondering if my Higher Power had finally sent me a sign.
Dressed in a skirt and blouse, I met Nate in the lobby. I know women can wear pants now at Reform congregations, but for some reason, I couldn’t bring myself to wear anything other than a skirt.