The rest of the calls were from the media. The local station had called to say they would be happy to follow-up on my breakup with Caleb, but only if I agreed to an interview. Unfortunately, I couldn’t do that because I’d be in violation of my contract with the Morning show. I needed a lawyer, but there was no way in hell I’d call Adam for his help.
My best option would be to let the Morning show know about the miscommunication concerning my alleged engagement to Caleb. They had called to check on my progress and to schedule some dates for additional coverage of my search. I dreaded making the call, but I had no choice.
We set up an interview for the end of the month. I’d talk about my journey so far, including my breakup with Caleb and my travels to Israel.
At least, Adam would learn Caleb and I were not engaged, if he hadn’t already found out from my brother. I don’t know why it mattered to me that he discovered the truth of the situation, but it did, even though he had already replaced me with the woman who’d answered the phone. I loved him too much to cause him any further suffering, although I questioned whether he had ever loved me at all. I couldn’t think about it without hurting and chose to lock it away in the confines of my heart for now.
The sessions with my clients helped me forget about my own problems as I concentrated on someone else for a change. Then, Dina walked in my office.
In the two weeks since I had last seen her, she must have lost ten pounds, although she tried to hide it with her baggy sweatshirt. Her neck muscles bulged and her skin appeared scaly and dry.
How had I missed the signs all these months I treated her?
I asked her for her journal and confirmed my suspicions.
“Dina, when we decided you’d journal, you agreed to write about your feelings. Can you show me where in this journal I can find it?”
She took it back from me puzzled and flipped through it. “It’s on every page. I don’t understand what you want.”
I had to be careful about how I advanced this conversation, not wanting to scare her from talking.
“I do see it on every page. Do you think you’re fat?”
She burst into tears. “I’m huge. That’s why he didn’t want me. Christine’s pretty and skinny and I’m just a fat lump.”
“Have you always felt this way?” I had little training in eating disorders, but I did know what it felt like to be fat.
“Since I was in middle school. That’s when I got huge. I tried to stop eating, but I got too dizzy, so I had to start eating again.”
“Do you do anything now to lose weight?”
She squirmed in her chair and started to bite her nails. I noticed for the first time she had bitten them down to the quick and her cuticles were red. Dina didn’t want to answer the question. She shook her head.
“It says here you exercise a total of four hours a day. When do you exercise?”
She appeared proud of herself as she responded. “I get up at four in the morning and I run on my mom’s treadmill until six. Then after school, I run again until my parents get home from work. They’re proud of the fact I take such good care of my health.”
“Do they know you run four hours a day?”
“No. They don’t know about my morning run, and I think they assume I’ve only done like a half hour when they get home. It doesn’t matter because they know it’s important to be thin.”
“Do you ever throw up?”
“Sometimes. Only if I can’t exercise enough to burn off all my calories.”
I had no doubt in my mind. Dina had bulimia. I needed to speak with her mother.
“Dina, with your permission, I’d like to talk about your exercise with your mom. Would that be okay?”
She nodded, so I opened the door to my waiting room to invite her mother into the session.
“Dina and I wanted to let you know she believes she’s fat. In order to help her lose weight, she’s been waking up at four in the morning to run on the treadmill. She runs for two hours. Then after school she runs another two hours. I’m concerned she might be hurting herself.”
I didn’t want her to say too much and put Dina in a defensive position.
Her mother understood immediately. She stared at her daughter, brows furrowed in concern.
“Dina restricts her calories, but it’s not enough for her. She exercises to burn off the calories and if she can’t, she throws up.”
Her mother made a choking sound.
“I’d like Dina to receive treatment at an in-patient facility. It’s close by and there will be a lot of girls with similar body concerns. Would that be all right with both of you?”
They both nodded in agreement, tears shimmering in both their eyes.