“Maybe you’re scared of getting into a real relationship with someone. You know you already trust me, because we’ve been friends for so long. It’s much harder to trust someone new. That’s why you’ve never had a relationship with a lover for more than a couple of months.”
“You know what I think? I think you’re making this up so you don’t have to feel guilty. I think you’ve enjoyed having me in love with you all these years. I didn’t come right out and say it, but you knew. You loved how I ran over whenever you called. I’d drop everything to be with you.”
“I never asked you to do any of that for me and you know it,” I argued, now crying. How could Missy say I used her?
“You can’t make a single decision without asking my opinion first! You’re as dependent on me as I am on you!”
She no longer had any composure left. She stood yelling at me, while the patrons of the bistro watched the scene unfold before their eyes.
“I don’t need you! I’ll do fine without you! But let’s see how well you get on without me in your life!”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying I don’t think we should be friends anymore.” She bent to grab her purse, then took a five dollar bill out of her wallet and placed the money on the table.
Then, my best friend in the world walked away from me, never once looking back.
CHAPTER 21
JUNE 1, 2012
EDISON, NEW JERSEY
WEIGHT: 183
STATUS: COMMITTED
As the days passed without hearing from Missy, I began to lose hope we’d find a way to get over this. I tried not to think too much about our fight, but it seemed no matter how hard I tried, something always reminded me. A lifetime movie of the week. A Hallmark commercial. Buffy the Vampire Slayer. And my client, Dina.
Dina came to our session prepared with her journal, a notebook with Zach Efron on its cover. Missy loves to make fun of Zach Efron, and I love to listen to her make fun of Zach Efron.
I reviewed her journal, hoping for some epiphany as to why Dina couldn’t get over her friend Christine’s betrayal. The journal didn’t give me any new information. In fact, instead of using it to write her thoughts and feelings, she chose to use it as a way to track her food intake, exercise, and weight. Not what I had been expecting at all. I told her that I expected something more for next session and listened yet again to her complain about Christine.
I kept my argument with Missy to myself, not sharing our fallout with Caleb. I don’t know why I didn’t say anything. As my boyfriend, he should be the person I went to for comfort, the person to help me figure out what I have to do to make things right between us. It’s just every time I tried to broach the subject of Missy, I chickened out.
Also, I’m not sure if Caleb would even care about our fight. Not that he was insensitive. He never officially stated he disapproved of homosexuals, but he always remained standoffish with Missy. Whether that was due to her sexual orientation or just her in general, I wasn’t sure. I also didn’t want to find out my potential husband and my best friend didn’t like each other. I guess right now that would be irrelevant since Missy wasn’t speaking to me.
The week actually flew by and before I knew it, Caleb and I were on our way to New Jersey to have dinner with his parents. Other women might be nervous to meet the potential in-laws, but parents always loved me. In fact, sometimes the parents liked me more than my boyfriend did.
We had a short flight from Detroit to Newark. I had warned Caleb of my fear of flying, but I don’t think he actually believed me until I almost broke his hand on takeoff. He grabbed his hand back, told me it would be okay, and fell asleep while I gripped the armrest. When the plane leveled out at thirty-five thousand feet, I relaxed and read my book until landing, when I started hyperventilating again. Caleb stayed asleep until we got to the gate.
Then we rented a car and drove to what Caleb described as the very best pizza joint in the country.
We stepped into the restaurant and a lovely woman dressed all in pink with blond hair worn in a perfect bob pulled Caleb into a hug, squealing with delight. Then she hugged me as if she had known me my entire life. His father stood quietly next to his wife smiling and allowing his wife to convey the excitement for the both of them. He dressed in light blue pants and a white button down shirt and had a head of gray hair I would wager never fell out of place. The two of them were simply the perfect-looking parental unit and the exact opposite of my dark and disheveled parents.
“It’s nice to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Johnston. Caleb’s told me a lot about you.” Actually, I knew very little about them, but parents love to hear their child talks about them.