Guys, let me tell you this. If you ask me out because you think you’ll end up on television, you’re sadly mistaken. I can tell you’re only interested because of the notoriety, not because you think I have the potential of being your soul mate. I don’t want to give you any hints, but let’s just say, all I have to do is read your profile. When you state you want a thin woman under the age of twenty-five, I can reasonably deduce I’m not your type. That’s okay, because you’re not my type, either!
It’s the lying that really upsets me. You lie about your height, your age, your marital status, and your job. I don’t care what you do for a living (assuming you’re not a hit man for the mafia). I do care if you lie to me about it. After all, relationships are supposed to be built on trust. If we don’t have trust from the start, then every beautiful moment has been built on a shaky foundation and it’s bound to come crashing down around our feet.
It’s with great pleasure I announce I am cutting the power to the revolving door. I’ll be using one door from now on. For those of you who are confused by my metaphor, I’ll explain it in layman terms. I am dating one man exclusively. His name is Caleb and in the few months I’ve known him, he’s never lied to me once. We’ve already begun to build our solid foundation and I’m ready to start building on top of it.
My commitment to Caleb means I’ll be discontinuing my membership to JDate, and I’ve already requested a refund from the dating agency. All evidence to the contrary, I’m a private person. I don’t intend on blogging the personal nature of our relationship. I promise to update you on our status and let you know when we take our relationship to the next level. I have a feeling it will be soon!
CHAPTER 17
MAY 20, 2012
DETROIT, MICHIGAN
WEIGHT: 180
STATUS: COMMITTED
Today I planned on seducing Caleb into my bed. I called him this morning and told him because of my late night out with the girls, I was too tired to go out anywhere tonight. He started to suggest that we cancel our date so I could get rest, but I wouldn’t let him. I proposed he bring over some Chinese food and we could rent a movie from On Demand. After a few minutes, he relented and agreed to spend the night in with me.
I spent two hours getting ready for my big seduction. First and most importantly, I needed to get myself prepared.
I took a long hot shower in which I exfoliated my skin, shaved the various parts of my body, and deep conditioned my hair. Then after I dried off, I polished my toenails and rubbed lotion into my skin for hydration. I pulled my hair back in a low ponytail to expose the erogenous zones of my neck, where I placed a touch of Shalimar perfume.
I didn’t want to dress too provocatively, because I didn’t want him to guess I had sex on the brain when I invited him over. I settled on tight black stretch pants, tank top, and cardigan. It didn’t scream sexy, but it looked good nonetheless.
I changed the sheets of my bed and pulled down the comforter a bit to help us effortlessly slide under the covers. I double-checked I had enough condoms for our evening and they hadn’t expired. Then I chilled a bottle of white wine to go with our Chinese food.
With an hour to go before our date, I called Missy for moral support. She didn’t answer and I remembered she was babysitting. I’m sure her hands were too full to answer my call.
I checked my email, Facebook, and Twitter accounts to keep myself occupied while I waited. I discovered Demi and Ashton were planning a romantic evening and another one of my television shows was in danger of cancellation. I spent the remaining time playing solitaire on my computer.
The knock on my door caused my heart to race and my palms to sweat. But as soon as I laid eyes on him, all my fears disappeared.
I never had to worry around Caleb. He was the most dependable, sweet, and caring individual I had ever met. He always showed up on time. He never forgot his wallet. He always made me feel as though I was the most important woman in the world to him.
It feels good to be wanted.
“I hope you’re hungry, because I brought a lot of food.”
That’s another thing I love about Caleb. He’s oblivious to my weight and makes it a point to state he thinks diets are worthless. It’s not that he prefers heavyset women. By now, I’ve determined the type of women that attract Caleb. He desires women with dark hair, curves, and big chests, like me and Catherine Zeta Jones. I recall he’s wanted me since he saw my picture at my brother’s old apartment, in which I was seventy pounds heavier than now.
With Caleb, I don’t have my normal feelings of inadequacy over my body I tend to have with guys. I’m not concerned my soft flesh and extra rolls of fat will disgust him. Not that I don’t have some fears about him seeing me naked. It’s just I know he’ll accept and like me just the way I am.