“I thought you might mention us to them,” he said with a bit of uneasiness.
“Yeah, because I always go on television and broadcast who I have sex with. Is that why you asked me out tonight? So you could be famous?” I sat up, pulling on the blankets to cover my chest.
“No. I’m sorry, Sara. I really like you. I always have. My wanting you had nothing to do with your, uh, you know. Do you believe me?”
I glared at him, trying to determine if he was being honest or not. He looked back at me with big, puppy dog eyes. I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt.
“Yes, I believe you.”
“Good,” he said with a smile.
He softly kissed my lips and rolled over next to me, his arm stretched out over my middle. It seemed a bit possessive and part of me relished it, while the other part wanted him to go home so I could sleep on my usual side of the bed. True to form, Jamie fell asleep before I even got up to use the bathroom.
I threw out our used condom and decided to take a quick shower. I stayed under the hot water, trying to wash away the emptiness. I assumed having sex again would propel me on my new path to making all my wishes come true. Instead, I couldn’t shake the nagging suspicion I had taken a wrong turn somewhere, only I didn’t know where or how to get back to where I needed to be.
It had been a long night and I probably had too much to drink. As I got into my pajamas, I convinced myself everything would seem clearer in the morning. After listening to Jamie’s light snoring, I fell asleep wondering if my newfound fame would help or hinder me in my search.
I felt a hand sliding under my nightgown and for a moment, I couldn’t remember to whom the hand belonged. Frankly, it felt so good, I honestly didn’t care. I arched my back into Jamie and moaned to let him know he had succeeded in waking me, as well as getting me in the mood.
“Good morning,” I breathlessly murmured as his fingers played and pinched my nipples. I felt his erection against the crease of my bottom knowing full well he probably woke every morning this way. Still, it felt good to be desired.
“Good morning, Sara,” he whispered into my ear.
I started to get excited as I decided to give Jamie another chance at sex. Three minutes and one used condom later, I was no closer to achieving orgasm and this time, he didn’t even seem to care.
He kissed my cheek saying he had morning breath, then went into the bathroom and turned on the shower. I just wanted to go back to sleep.
I prepared all the things I would say to him when he asked to see me again. “It was a mistake,” or “It was great, but I don’t think we should do it again” or “I’m just the transition girl, but you’ll find someone else when you’re ready.” I stayed in bed watching him get dressed. He really did have a great body.
As I watched him, I decided I had been panicking because it had moved so fast between us. I wanted to continue to see him, only now, I’d withhold the sex until I felt more comfortable with our relationship.
When he ran out the door without saying a single thing about seeing me again, my feelings of confliction turned into feelings of outrage. How dare he not ask me out after what we had shared last night! Did he use me as I had used him?
As soon as Jamie left, I called Missy to ask her opinion.
“Hello?” Missy said, sounding tired. I must have woken her.
“Hey, it’s me. I slept with him,” I informed her.
Missy suddenly woke, animated and energized. “Has Jamie improved with age like a fine wine, or have too many years of fermenting caused him to turn to vinegar?”
I didn’t want to discuss my lack of an orgasm with Missy.
“I’d say he’s turned into wine, but he needs some more time to mature before I’d consider him fine,” I replied, trying to give her an honest answer without revealing anything too personal.
“Are you going to see him again?”
I had no idea. Until now, it hadn’t occurred to me he’d left without getting my phone number, and I had no way to contact him.
“I’m not sure. I think we just used each other for sex.”
“It’s probably for the best.”
“Why? What do you know?”
She paused before sighing in acquiescence. “After you left, I talked some more with Don, and he filled me in on a couple of things.”
Did I really want to hear what she had to say? Should I stop her before the truth tarnishes the reality? Since I’d probably never hear from him again based on his behavior this morning, I guess it couldn’t hurt.
“What did Don say?”
“Last night was supposed to be Jamie’s wedding. His fiancée dumped his ass last weekend after she found out he had been cheating on her throughout their entire relationship.”