“Is this your first time at speed dating?” Elana eyed my outfit with approval.
“Yeah. What about you?”
The room filled with dozens of singles anticipating the first speed dating round.
“We’re speed dating experts. If you have any questions just ask us.”
Yes, I have a question. If speed dating actually works, then why have you done it enough to become experts? A depressing thought. At least I can feel a tiny bit better about myself. They’re all older than me by a year, and they’re not married either.
Steffi elbowed me in the side. “Isn’t that your old boyfriend?” she asked, pointing to a man in the corner of the room.
There, standing between two of his friends was my high school boyfriend, Jamie Miller. Even hotter than at sixteen, Jamie had filled out since high school. Between his newfound muscles and the other changes in his appearance, I wondered what it would be like to hook up with him again.
Jamie had been my first, and I had been his. We lost our virginity at sixteen, on our one-year anniversary. I’d like to say it was romantic, but honestly, I don’t see how anyone could have an amazing first time. Maybe I’d built it up in my head since I read a bunch of romance novels, but I didn’t get much pleasure out of it. First of all, I don’t think it lasted longer than two minutes.
It had been my idea to have sex. We’d discussed it for months, trying to figure out when would be the best time. I didn’t want to wait, but Jamie wanted to wait until we were both sixteen.
I went on a field trip to Chicago with my choir and bought a condom in a vending machine as a joke with my friends. When I came back from Chicago, Jamie and I were making out in Missy’s bed at her father’s apartment. I decided I didn’t want to wait any longer, so I pulled the condom out of my wallet. Two minutes later, he had taken my virginity.
Missy had not been thrilled to learn Jamie and I had had sex in her bed. At least I changed her sheets afterward.
At the time, Missy had been trying to convince herself she wasn’t gay by experimenting with boys. Two weeks after I lost my virginity in her bed, she lost her virginity to a childhood friend of hers named Toby. A year later, both she and Toby came out as gay.
I hadn’t been totally shocked when she told me. After all, by then we had been friends for more than ten years. Even though she pretended to like boys, she’d never talked about anyone in particular and never had crushes like the rest of us.
One night, she and I sat outside on my deck, drinking coffee and smoking a pack of Marlboro Lights we had stolen from her mom’s purse. She had been acting nervous all week, so I knew she had something important to tell me. She blurted out she was a lesbian. I told her I had a feeling and that was the end of the conversation. Nothing changed. She was no different than before she’d confided in me.
Missy still didn’t talk about her love life much. I knew the basics, like the name of the girls she dated and where they went on their dates, but that was it. She never discussed the specifics. I, on the other hand, held back nothing. Missy knew everything about my relationships. I’d questioned her about it over the years, but she would always blow it off, saying she preferred to keep some things private. Besides, she’d say, there’s nothing to tell.
Now the first boy I ever loved, the first boy with whom I’d shared my body, stood in the same room as me. He caught me watching him and smiled. He said something to his friends and walked toward me.
“Wow, he looks good,” Elana said.
Jamie approached us and gave me a hug. “It’s good to see you. How are you?”
That’s one of his best qualities. He wouldn’t ask “how are you” if he didn’t want the answer. He really wanted to know.
“I’m good. You?” I honestly felt like I was back in high school. I couldn’t stop myself from smiling, and I had butterflies in my tummy. I bet my palms were sweating, too.
Darkness crossed over his face. “I’ve seen some better days. My fiancée and I just broke up.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.” Okay, that’s not really true, but what should I have said? Good, because now I have another shot at you?
“It was for the best. We had grown apart over the years, and we realized we wanted different things.”
“So is tonight your way of moving on?”
“You remember Don and Ryan. They convinced me to come tonight. I didn’t want to, but you know what? I’m glad I did.”
We stood there smiling at each other. Part of me wanted to take him and run, so I could keep him all to myself. Then I heard my number being called. It was time to meet my destiny.