A Year to Remember(16)
“Need some help, Sara?” asked Goldman, reaching his hand out to help me up.
Of course, Goldman had to be present to witness another one of my most humiliating moments.
Still, I could use some assistance, even if it came from someone who would hold this over me until the day I died.
“If I say yes, would you promise to keep this to yourself?”
He pretended to consider my proposal, rubbing his fingers on his chin like a nefarious villain. At least I hoped he was pretending.
“Deal.” He crouched next to me, taking my hand and placing his arm under my back.
One moment I lay on my back, and the next, Goldman had me on my feet with his arm still around me and my hand in his. I quickly yanked myself out of his grasp, embarrassed I required support from my brother’s best friend.
“Thanks,” I mumbled, a blush no doubt staining my cheeks as proof of my mortification.
“Anytime,” he teased with a twinkle in his eye. “What were you doing here anyway?”
“I had a date with someone from JDate,” I reluctantly divulged.
“I take it from your voice it didn’t go too well?”
“You could say that. I spent five minutes trying to have a conversation with the guy, and he spent most of it staring at my chest.”
Goldman erupted in hysterics. “Ah, I see you met the lucky leprechaun.”
“In the flesh. I understand why they call him a leprechaun, but why do they call him lucky?”
“Other than the fact he’s the spitting image of the Lucky Charms’ mascot? He’s one of the creepiest guys out there, and he still manages to get girls to date him.”
“You mean women like me that meet him for a first date only to run in horror?”
“No, I mean he usually leaves with them. The guy gets laid more than anyone else around.”
As hard as I tried, I just couldn’t conjure the image of a girl desperate enough to sleep with the little creep. On second thought, why did I even want to conjure that image?
“I’ve never met a bigger pig in my life and that’s saying a lot, considering the type of friends my brother has.”
The smile rapidly left Goldman’s face. I cursed myself for momentarily forgetting he and my brother have been best friends for more than fifteen years.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean you.” Actually, before the last week, I would have exactly meant Goldman. He’d started to grow on me and for the first time, I could see what my brother must see in him.
“Yes, you did, and you’re right. I use women as playthings. I don’t call them after I sleep with them, and I have no intention of ever mending my wicked ways.”
I don’t know why that shocked and disappointed me, but it did. I guess I assumed from his emails he might be a good guy underneath the image he projected to the world. Apparently, I was mistaken. Lord knows, it wasn’t the first time, and it wouldn’t be the last.
You would think a psychologist with seven years of college and almost five years of practical experience would understand the male psyche just a little better than I did. I better plan on sticking with teenage girls as clients, because obviously, I was hopeless when it came to understanding men.
“Is that what you’re doing here? Trolling for your next plaything?” I tried to make light of it, but my tone couldn’t conceal my true feeling of disgust.
“Monday night is Ladies’ Night at O’Leary’s. Since women get drinks half off, more of them come and guys like me follow like a dog in heat.”
“Well good luck. Let’s hope you don’t end up with fleas.” With my parting shot, I stomped off to my car, leaving Goldman standing alone in the falling snow.
CHAPTER 6
MARCH 9, 2012
DETROIT, MICHIGAN
WEIGHT: 183
STATUS: SINGLE
Monday night’s date drastically lowered my expectations. In that respect, the date had been worth every miserable moment. I decided to withhold any and all fantasies of a “happy ever after” until the fourth date.
When I met Larry for coffee on Wednesday, I was pleasantly surprised. He seemed ... normal. We sat and talked for over an hour about our hobbies and careers, before playing Jewish Geography.
Jewish Geography is sort of like “Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon” for Jews. If you meet a Jew in the Metro-Detroit area, you will discover you have mutual friends or you’re related to one another. Even when I met a Jewish guy who had just moved from California and didn’t know another Jew in Michigan, it turned out we still had a friend in common, someone he had met through his off-roading club and I had known at college. I’m telling you it never fails.
After Larry and I completed our game of Jewish Geography, we had very little to talk about. Other than a couple of mutual acquaintances and affection for the Red Wings, we had nothing in common. I know they say opposites attract, but sadly not in our case.