When he smiled at me, I could not help but notice how beautiful his smile was. He opened the door for me and led me into his office.
“You’ll be working with me most of the time. Nothing that I am going to have you do is too difficult just things that I do not have time for,” he said as he walked over to a desk in the corner, “I had this set up for you last night. I hope it is to your liking, I know you would probably rather have an office of your own but I need you with me at all times.”
He had a way of making you feel important, even if there was no reason for it. I looked at my desk and was ecstatic. I had never had a desk of my own. In fact, I had never had a place to call my own and I could not have been more excited.
“It is wonderful,” I said, looking up at Alan.
“Well, before we get started with work, I think we need to get to know each other a little bit,” he said looking down at me with a smile.
I swore that I saw lust in his eyes and had to look down at the floor because it embarrassed me.
“Tell me about yourself,” he said, noticing that I was blushing, “Are you married? Children?”
That was not a topic that I wanted to talk about, but he asked and I felt compelled to be honest with him. I told him how I was married and our relationship was strained due to me gaining weight. I told him about wanting to have a job so that I would finally have something to feel good about and so that I would have an income if Josh decided to leave me.
When I finished spilling my guts, I felt like an idiot and regretted telling him anything but when I looked into his eyes I could see nothing but sadness.
“You should not feel that way,” he began stepping closer to me, “There are men out there, men like myself who would love to come home to a woman like you.”
“Men like yourself,” I said, laughing, “I am sure a man like you could have any woman that he wanted.”
Alan reached out and put his hands on my waist. “I’m going to tell you something that most people don’t know about me,” he said, “I don’t really need anyone to come in here and help me. I can get the job done without a problem, but I am tired of coming into this office all day and then going home alone. I just needed someone to keep me company.”
I could feel my heart pounding all the way up into my throat, “Then I’m your girl,” I said struggling to get the words out. I could not deny that I was attracted to this man and I was loving the feeling of his hands on my waist so much so that I could feel the moisture building between my thighs.
Alan pulled me closer, “It sounds like you are tired of being alone too,” he said. I knew that he was right. If I was honest with myself the real reason that I wanted to get a job was because I was tired of spending my days and my nights alone.
I was tired of being ignored by my husband and I was tired of feeling as if I was no longer a woman and I was no longer attractive. “You’re right,” I said my breath catching.
Alan did not waste any time, he placed both of his hands on my face and kissed me as if he had been holding back since the first moment he saw me. At first I wanted to pull away. I could not do this not to my husband. No matter what he had done to me or what he had said I was still in love with him and this was not what I was looking for when I got a job. After just a few seconds I didn’t want to pull away any longer. I enjoyed the feel of his warm hands on my face, the feel of his tongue flicking against mine and more than anything I love the way he was making me feel. I finally felt as if it were possible for a man to be attracted to me exactly the way I was.
Alan pulled back and looked me right in the eyes, “I think you are beautiful and if he does not see that then it is his problem, not yours.”
I looked down at the floor not sure if I should believe what this man was saying to me. Alan could tell that I was confused and placed his hand under my chin, lifting my face up to his. “You have nothing to feel bad about, he left you a long time ago, you’ve just been living in the same house.”
“You’re right,” I said finally realizing that there was nothing that I could do to make my husband happy. Alan did not kiss me again to my disappointment, but what he did do was get my computer set up so that I could get online and asked me if I would go get us both some coffee. He also told me to think about what he had said while I was getting the coffee.
I headed out of the office thinking that I had ruined any chance of keeping the job but was still determined to show Alan that he needed me in his office. I did think about what he had said and although I had no idea what had really changed between Josh and myself, I knew that even if I did lose 100 pounds he would not fall back in love with me.