A Whole New Crowd(67)

I waited until the morning. It was after six when she was dropped off. When she came inside, she looked haggard. She had bags under her eyes. Her dress was plastered against her. The smell of cold sweat clung to her, and her lips were swollen while her eyes were dilated. When she tossed her keys on the counter, she took one step, saw me, and stopped. Her eyebrows bunched together and she lifted a hand, scratching at her head and messing with her hair before she asked, “Taryn? You’re up?”

“I made coffee.” I pointed to the coffee pot.

“Oh.” She glanced over and frowned. “Okay. That’s a weird thing to say. Um,” she kept frowning, then shrugged, “I’m going to bed.”

She started for the stairs, then saw the suitcases and stepped back. “Uh, Taryn? What’s with the luggage? You going somewhere?” She seemed to reassess me. “I heard you had words with your ex. Did something really bad happen between you? You think you’re in danger or something?”

No, not me. “I’m not going to beat around the bush. I suck at that stuff.” I watched her. I wanted her to see me and see how serious I was. When she did, she kept frowning, but a small amount of fear filled her eyes. “I found your stash.”

I let that hang in the air between us.

When she realized what I meant, her eyes went wide and her shoulders stiffened. Her mouth fell open. “You had no right. You searched my room? Who do you think you are—”

“You are eighteen.”

She stopped, confused by what I said.

I stood from the table. “You have a problem.” She opened her mouth. I knew there was an argument on the tip of her tongue, but I held a hand up. I kept going as she fell silent again. “I know you’re going to try and justify it. You’re going to tell me that your dad knows and he doesn’t care. Or you’ll tell me how it’s perfectly fine; you just use them when you need extra energy. I don’t care.”

I felt dead inside. Mandy saw it and the façade fled away. She wasn’t going to deny it, but I saw the storm beginning to brew inside her.

I added, “Those are your bags.”

“Excuse me?” she asked, her voice low and deadly.

I stepped closer and lowered mine to the same pitch. “Those are your bags. They’re packed because I’m taking you to a rehab facility. Unlike your parents, I give a shit. You’re lying to yourself every time you take a pill and you know it. You’re so full of lies, I don’t think you know what’s right anymore. It’s right to leave a boyfriend when he cheats on you. It’s right to be angry when he cheated on you with your friend. It’s right to demand better friends, better relationships, better parents who give a damn. Those are the right things to do.” Jeezus. I stopped and forced myself to calm down. Anger was coursing through me, setting me on edge. I wanted to rip into someone and bleed them dry. I realized that I was saying those words to myself as well, to the little girl in me. The one who wanted to be loved, who wanted a mother like all the other girls had in their lives, who wanted a regular home and didn’t have to be locked inside her room since she was a flight risk.

I had been lying to myself too.

Closing my eyes, I turned away. I hung my head and forced myself to see the truth. I wanted that so much that I hadn’t acknowledged the truth. Shelly and Kevin were never home. They were polite, but that was it. They didn’t care. They didn’t want me there. They weren’t the family I thought I had been gifted. Gritting my teeth, knowing this was all a lie forced on me, I whipped my head back up.

Mandy fell back a step. The color drained from her face.

“I love you,” I said, forcing my tone to soften. “Because of that, I’m taking you to a facility. None of your bullshit will work on me. I’ve gone this route too many times with Brian. I won’t go through it again. Because you’re not fighting as much, I know you’re early in the process. You can be helped, and you have to be helped. Mandy, you have to be.” She was my family. “With this fucked-up situation, you became my sister. So I’m here and I’m fighting for you. Take the bags, Mandy.” Please. I mentally prayed. She needed to go of her own choice. I couldn’t force her to go so I pleaded. “I’ll drive you and I’ll help you.”

“Taryn?”

Her voice cracked and a tear fell down her cheek. I saw the shame. It flared over her face and then she hung her head.

That was when I knew she wasn’t going to fight it. I stood there, shocked. Brian always fought. He denied. He yelled. He threw things. Then he would cry and he would plead and he would beg me not to leave him. Mandy did none of this. She went straight to crying, and she crumbled on a chair by the table.