Normally, I come home to my Mom riding our big John Deere tractor through the soybean fields. Seeing her working the fields is comical. She looks out of place because handling the farming was something my Dad used to do until he left us.
My parents had been married for fifteen years. High school sweethearts. Then one day my father decided that he didn’t want to be a husband anymore or a father either. Their separation was difficult at first, but I’m a tough cookie. I got over it. My Mom, she’s still a mess about it sometimes.
Two years isn’t enough time to mend a broken heart. Sometimes I catch Mom staring out the window and I know what she’s doing. I know what she’s thinking. She’s watching, waiting, and hoping that she’ll see his car drive up our driveway. She misses him. I don’t blame her, but I can’t understand why she’d want him back. She gave him fifteen years, her heart, and a baby. He gave her a mountain of debt, a tempestuous affair, and a post-it note.
The car rolls to a stop. I pull my book bag strap over my shoulder and hang my legs out the door. “Thanks for the ride.”
Wren smiles. “No prob. Pick you up tomorrow?”
I get out and hover above the door. “Nah. Tomorrow I get my vacation day, remember?”
She rolls her eyes and shakes her head. “It’s hardly a vacation.”
There’s a cheesy grin on my face. “For me it is.”
“Do you want me to pick you up Friday?”
“Sure.”
“You know if I pick you up, you’ll actually be on time for once.”
“Yeah. I’m cool with it.” I close the door and wave as she backs out of the driveway.
Inside, I toss my book bag on the kitchen table and don’t make it an inch further. My Mom leans against the wall and she’s huffing. Her arms folded across her chest. Oh no. She’s pissed. “Suspended, Ellory! You got suspended!” She throws her arms up in the air.
“So, I got suspended. It’s not a big deal.”
She marches toward me and points her finger in my face. “It’s huge deal. And not only that, but you got suspended for fighting! And with Katie of all people. She’s such a nice girl.”
I clench my jaw. “Nice! Nice! That evil witch dumped milk on my head!” I can’t believe the words that are coming out of her mouth. The word nice doesn’t belong in the same sentence when it comes to Katie Halston. After a brief trip to the school bathroom I managed to get most of the milk off my clothes, but it was in my hair for the rest of the day. Trust me, sour milk isn’t a perfume anyone would want to wear.
Mom backs away from me keeping her eyes on the floor. “I know your father being gone is still hard on you.”
“Don’t even bring Dad into this,” I tell her. She lifts her head and I see the tears watering up. She’s about to spill. I can’t see her like this. It breaks me a part. And on top of that, I can’t get over the fact that she took Katie’s side. Nice, my ass. “I’m going to my room.” I leave her standing alone in the kitchen.
In my room, I flop onto my bed and exhale. Anymore, my room is the only place where I want to be. Sometimes I can’t handle life. It’s too complicated. Too unpredictable. Every day I feel like something bad is going to happen.
Mom pounds on the door. “Open this door, Ellory! We need to talk about this!”
I’m frustrated. Exhausted. And angry. “Leave me alone!”
She pounds harder. So hard that I swear her fist is going to blast through the oak.
“Open this door!”
“No!”
“I’m not going to ignore this,” she tells me and pounds on the door a third time. “As soon as you come out of that room, we are going to talk about this.”
That’s if I ever come out.
Seconds later I lied in silence, realizing that my Mom had given up, for now.
My eyes center on the ceiling. Stick on glow-in-the-dark stars are placed sporadically all over the white. I close my eyes, reminiscing about the time my Dad helped me put them up.
He stood on a step ladder, while I stood at the bottom. I was daddy’s little helper.
“Hand daddy a big one,” he commanded, extending his hand down toward me.
I eagerly reached down into the package, pulled out the biggest star, and then placed it on his hand. I searched his eyes for approval.
“Good job, sweetheart,” he said, revealing a warm smile.
My lips quiver and my stomach hurts. Damn. Maybe I miss him more than I thought.
****
Not even realizing I’d dozed off, I wake up sometime later. My gaze shifts to the alarm clock on my cluttered nightstand. 6:30. Wow. Some nap. I’d slept for three hours.