Lukas tilted his head to one side, studying her. “What about you? Are you still grieving and upset?”
She didn’t know how to answer that. They’d once been good friends—best friends. She should be able to converse with him easily. But ever since the accident, it felt like there was too much between them to ever speak easily again.
Lukas knew how close she’d been to her father. He’d meant the world to her. Surely, then, Lukas had to know how difficult life was now that her father’s reputation was tainted. Couldn’t he imagine how hard it was for her just to get through each day?
The accident that had killed both their fathers and three other men had created a chasm in their relationship that seemed impossible to bridge. Her brother Aaron was upset that pretty much everyone—even Lukas’s brother Levi—considered their father the main cause of the accident.
Then, of course, there was the latest disaster: Darla’s mother, after grieving and living in denial for weeks, had left their family almost two months ago. Now Darla and her six siblings hadn’t just lost their father—they’d lost both parents.
But there was no way she was going to share her sob story in the middle of her workday.
“I’m doing about as well as can be expected,” she murmured, thinking of their preacher’s last visit. He’d prayed with her and spoken of forgiveness. She hoped one day soon that his advice would ease her heart. Seeing as how no other customers had come in, she forced herself to continue their stilted conversation. Sooner or later things between them would ease . . . if they both tried their best. “And you, Lukas? How are you today?”
“Pretty gut this morning.”
“Truly? What happened?”
The smile that had been playing on his lips transformed into a full grin. “The lambs are out.”
“I heard them this morning. The Millers have a lively bunch this year.” She almost smiled back at him. Darla remembered how, even as a little boy, Lukas had loved the arrival of the spring lambs. Her daed used to ask him over just so Lukas could hold a newborn lamb from time to time.
One time he’d even spent the night at their house just so he could help her daed with the newborn lambs at daybreak. She’d been twelve to his thirteen and after seeing him dressed in only an old T-shirt and plaid pajama bottoms, she’d blushed for hours. Ack, but she’d had such a crush on him!
And just last year, she’d teased Lukas, saying that it was a shame that they no longer raised sheep because she would have enjoyed the sight of him holding a day-old lamb like it was the most precious thing on earth.
He stuffed his hands in his back pockets. “We should stop by the Millers’ soon. You know they won’t mind us visiting the lambs.”
Just like they used to do.
Darla looked at the door longingly, wishing another customer would enter, and Lukas would move on instead of forcing her to remember how close they used to be. And how differently they were now treated by everyone else. Without a doubt, Lukas would be welcomed with a pleased smile at the Millers’ farm. As for an appearance by her? She had a feeling she would be barely tolerated.
Knowing that made her sad. But since there was literally nothing she could do to change the town’s perception of her, she forced herself to act uninterested. “I don’t have time to visit lambs. With my new job, I am pretty busy, you know. Now, how may I help you?”
“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” he asked as he stepped a little closer.
His softly spoken question, laced with just the slightest bit of affection, made her flinch. She raised her guard. If she didn’t keep herself firmly in check she was liable to weaken and say something she would regret.
“Lukas, if you don’t need anything, I need to get back to work. I have a lot to do.”
“I understand,” he said quietly. “Fine. Give me a sheet of stamps.”
She moved around the counter, thankful to have a barrier between them. Feeling as if she were helping a random customer instead of someone she’d known for most of her life, Darla, placed the four choices on the counter. “Which design?”
He looked frustrated. “It don’t matter,” he said with obvious impatience.
Why hadn’t she simply handed him a sheet and taken his money like she had with Mary? He would be gone by now.
Lukas leaned forward slightly, bringing with him the faint scent of oranges. Lukas had always been exceptionally fond of oranges. He lifted his eyes to meet her gaze. “You choose. What do you think I should purchase?”
Again, it felt as if he was asking her things she didn’t know the answer to. Feeling awkward, she glanced at the four choices. One showed hearts, another had a rose design—this year’s wedding stamp. The third featured birds, and the final offering was the American flag.