“Evelyn, I could sure use some help, here. What would you say if you were here?” he asked the empty room. He tensed, half hoping that her soft, sweet voice would come floating through the room, offering words of wisdom from up in heaven. But of course he heard nothing. Disappointment coursed through him, making him feel even more helpless. It was times like this, when there was no one to bounce ideas off of, that he missed his wife the most. Only the boys’ mother would understand what Ben needed from Jay right now.
Then he recalled how Evelyn had dealt with almost any conflict in the family. She’d been patient. Content to wait. Content to let others shine.
“I guess that’s my answer then,” he murmured. “I’ll wait and be patient and try not to meddle. Danke, Ev.”
“Who are ya talking to?” Mark asked as he wandered in. He had on an old pair of cotton plaid pajama bottoms, slippers, and a white T-shirt. The outfit made him look both like the towheaded eight-year-old boy he used to be and the man he was on the verge of becoming.
“Your mamm,” he said after weighing his answer.
“Really?” Mark raised his eyebrows. “Did she answer you?”
“Nee.” He smiled weakly. “I’m afraid you caught me at something I like to do from time to time. I ask Evelyn questions and hope she’ll tell me what to do. But she never says a word.”
“That sounds like Mamm,” Mark said as he pulled out a chair and sat next to Jay. “I don’t know how she did it, but Mamm could get Ben and me to do most anything without saying a word. And admit to anything we did wrong, too.” He shifted, then leaned his chair back on two legs, balancing on them. “It was uncanny.”
Jay opened his mouth to tell Mark to stop rocking on those back chair legs but then he decided to ignore it. His middle boy had taken to rocking in his chairs from the moment his legs were long enough to reach the ground.
Instead, Jay watched Mark’s face as he said, “But not William?”
“William is the baby. Mamm let him get away with everything.”
That was true. But Jay liked to think that maybe his frau had known she wasn’t going to be around for much of William’s life. She’d used their time together to give him love and attention.
“So, what are you still doing up, Daed? Besides talking to Mamm, I mean. Are you waiting up for Ben?” Mark asked.
“Jah.” There was no reason to pretend he wasn’t.
Mark looked at the clock above the oven. “Ben doesn’t have a curfew anymore.”
“You’re right. He doesn’t.”
“So, why are you waiting? Are you worried about him?”
“I know he’s old enough to take care of himself.” Jay shrugged. “But I guess some habits are hard to change.”
“Jah.”
As the quiet settled around them again, Jay studied his middle son. From the time he was born, Mark had been his easygoing child. He was generally the most agreeable and even-tempered. But because of that, he was also the one Jay was always a bit in the dark about.
“Mark, how are you adjusting to being here? Do you wish you were back in Charm?”
“Sometimes. I miss my friends.”
Glad that Mark was being forthright, he nodded. “Jah. It’s hard making new friends here, I bet. Seeing that you are out of school.” Before they’d moved, Jay had worried about Mark feeling lost and alone. He’d even told Mark he could attend high school here for a year or two if he wanted. It wasn’t the norm, of course—most Amish stopped school after eighth grade—but most Amish boys didn’t lose their mothers and move across the country, either. Mark had also been an excellent student. He’d loved to study history. Jay had thought letting Mark concentrate on his studies might also help him recover from his grief. But Mark hadn’t even considered it. Maybe he was having regrets now? “Do you want to think about going to the public high school? You might enjoy it.”
“I’m needed here on the farm, Daed. You, me, and Ben have more work than we can keep up with, especially because of all the rules and regulations about keeping things organic.”
“I’d rather hire some help than see you unhappy.”
“I’m not unhappy. I mean, not yet. My buddies from Charm will be out in November and I talk to them on the phone once a week. Plus, I’m meeting people. I played basketball with some guys at Pinecraft Park last week.”
“All right.”
Mark rocked back again, making the chair’s legs squeak their disfavor.
“You’re going to break that chair before long,” Jay finally said.