A Wedding at the Orange Blossom Inn(23)

“I couldn’t ask that of you.”

“Why not? I’ll be picking up Mandy and Lena anyway. And we always do homework in the early afternoons, after the girls have some time to play and a snack. William will fit right in.”

“But I couldn’t ask it of you.”

“I offered. But I don’t know why you wouldn’t want to ask it of me anyway. We are two people in much the same situation. It’s hard to do everything on one’s own, I think. Even with my family nearby, it, well . . .”

“It isn’t the same,” he finished.

“Exactly,” she said with a look of relief in her eyes. “Jay, I think we should be helping each other out as much as we can.”

Everything she said made sense, but it was hard to come to terms with the idea that he would be asking so much of Emma when they hardly knew each other. In addition, he didn’t know how he would be able to return the favor. “Will you let me pay you?”

“For helping William?” Hurt flashed in her eyes. “Definitely not.”

He held up his hands. “I don’t want to offend you, but I wouldn’t have asked about getting help if I didn’t intend to pay. I don’t want to take advantage.”

Looking slightly more mollified, she said, “You are not taking advantage.”

Jay figured he should be coming up with a bunch of new reasons why he couldn’t accept Emma’s offer, but he really couldn’t think of any. It was going to be an answer to his prayers. “Then, will you accept my thanks?”

“Of course.”

“Thanks.” He ran a hand through his hair, thinking yet again how challenging life had become since Evelyn’s death. “Do you ever miss being married?” he asked suddenly.

She flinched. “What?”

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to bring that up in such a clumsy way. It’s just that while of course I miss Evelyn, there are times, like today, when I simply miss the ease of it. She took care of things like this.” Thinking about all the years he’d pretty much only worried about the fields while she’d dealt with Ben’s and Mark’s issues at school, he added, “My frau did a lot of things around the house and with our family that I didn’t even realize until she got sick.”

“Tell me about her,” Emma said.

“I wouldn’t know where to start.” Jay waited for the familiar pain that usually came from simply remembering Evelyn, but instead he only felt a curious emptiness.

“I can help you with that. What was she like?”

He blurted the first thing that came to mind. “Peaceful.”

“How so?”

He felt his cheeks flush. “She was a wonderful-gut mother and wife. She would have had all of us far better organized if she’d been in charge of the move.” Thinking about their relationship, he had to admit that in many ways he’d always felt like her protector. She’d needed him to help her find her way and he had gotten used to making her life easier. “She was quiet and a little shy. Kind of timid around strangers, too. But she was caring and helpful. She depended on me, but the boys also knew they could depend on her to give them her time. She loved to sit with them and hear about their days.”

“She sounds like a wonderful woman.”

“Evelyn was.” Only now did he realize that he wasn’t pining for her in the ways he used to. He missed her, of course, but often he found that he was really missing her tasks around the house and with the kinner. He missed her help.

What did that say about him?

“Jay, what’s wrong? You look like you swallowed a cricket!”

“I’m sorry, I was just remembering something.”

“Something bad?” Emma had such compassion in her eyes. In her blue eyes. Blue eyes that were framed by thick dark lashes and brows that swept up in a natural arc.

“Not at all.” He knew he was stumbling but he suddenly felt like he was Ben’s age and trying to get a pretty girl’s attention. “Tell me about Sanford. What was he like?”

She pressed one of her hands to her chest. “Oh, goodness. Well, he was organized, too. And he liked things in order. He loved his little girls dearly, too. He was a gut man.”

Jay noticed she didn’t mention how much Sanford had loved her. He wondered if that was on purpose or if she simply thought it was understood. “I guess we both were blessed with good marriages.”

“We were. I was blessed. Still, I can’t believe Sanford left me so young. But then again, I guess since we grew up together the Lord decided that we’d already had lots of time together.”