A Wedding at the Orange Blossom Inn(11)

Now that they were off the main street and the area was far quieter, Ben began walking a little closer to her side. Tricia felt her stomach flutter. Suddenly, it felt as if they were very alone, and she realized that this was the first time they’d been that way. It made her giddy and nervous, all at the same time. She didn’t want to do or say the wrong thing. She clasped her hands tightly together so she wouldn’t accidentally grab hold of his arm.

Ben noticed. “Hey, you’re looking a little tense. Are you all right?”

“Oh, jah. I am fine.” After all, what else could she say?

“You sure?” After a pause, he blurted, “Am I pushing you too much? I haven’t been serious about a girl before. I don’t really know what I’m doing.”

“You’re not pushing too much.”

“Then what is it?”

She didn’t know how to admit how insecure she felt. And because of that, she took a step away. “Here’s the church,” she announced, her voice just a little bit too bright. “It’s pretty, isn’t it?”

Ben looked around. Shrugged. “It’s nice,” he said at last.

She walked over and sat down on one of the benches. Then, knowing that she had to take a chance and admit her feelings, too, she added, “Ben, I don’t know what I’m doing, either.”

He didn’t bother to hide his relief. “That’s gut news.”

“Every time I think I know what you’re going to say, you say the unexpected. I’m starting to learn that you are good at taking me by surprise.” She chuckled. “You are definitely keeping me on my toes.”

He sat down on the edge of the next bench, so he was angled toward her. “I don’t mean to,” he said with a wry look. “Like I said, I don’t have much experience with relationships.”

“I don’t, either.” After all, her only experience had involved writing notes about a boy she’d had a crush on then having some so-called friends show them to everyone. “But I think we’re doing all right.”

“You know what? I think we are, too.”

“We’re certainly sharing a lot with each other.” Tricia smiled.

But Ben didn’t look so confident. “Actually, I think we’ve talked a lot about me. About how I felt losing my mother, and how hard it’s been to step in and try to be there for my brothers.”

“I’m glad you shared your feelings, Ben.”

He continued, just as if he hadn’t heard her. “I think I spent an hour telling you about how we all decided to move here from Ohio.” He rolled his eyes. “I think I repeated every conversation that took place at our kitchen table.”

Because he looked so apprehensive, she said, “We can talk about it more, if you’d like.”

“No, that’s not what I’m getting at.”

“Then, what?”

“I want to talk about you for a change.”

She started. “I told you that there wasn’t anything all that interesting about me. I needed a change and so I moved down here to be with my aunt.”

“I think there was more to it.” He gazed at her steadily. “Actually, I know there was.”

“Okay, there was, but it’s not important.”

“Tricia, I’m going to be honest. I like you. I like you a whole lot. But I’m starting to feel like you are holding something back.”

His words were painful to hear. They were also true. But still, she hedged. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“Just talk to me. Why do you insist on keeping your past a secret? Tricia, why did you move?”

Before she could begin her explanation, he added, “It’s okay if you have had relationships before. You are a few years older than me, after all. Did you get in a fight with your boyfriend or something?”

“Ben, I was telling you the truth. I really don’t have a lot of experience dating. I didn’t leave Ohio because of a boy. Not directly, anyway.”

“Then, why? Did you not get along with your mamm? I’m pulling at straws here.”

“I got along with her fine.” She chewed on her bottom lip. “We’re not real close, but that doesn’t mean we’re not close at all. Or we don’t get along.”

When he stared at her long and hard, Tricia knew she had to swallow her pride and tell him the whole truth. “Ben, the truth is I did something dumb and everyone found out about it.”

“That’s it?” He looked disappointed.

“Jah.” Of course, the way she’d been dancing around the topic had to have made him think she was harboring some dark, terrible secret. Pushing herself a bit, she continued. “I wrote something dumb about a guy I liked. Something I never should have put to paper. Something I never should have shown anyone else. Have you ever done anything dumb like that?” she asked hesitantly. “Have you ever made a stupid decision that you regretted almost the instant it happened?”