It burned the walls of her defenses to cinders. All she could do was hold on and hope not to be consumed completely.
It was Max that broke the kiss, Max that took a step back, Max that held her away from him when she would have followed.
Feeling too much desire to be embarrassed, Romi demanded, “Why?”
He wanted her. She’d felt it. If she looked down, she’d see it, even in the dim shadows of the balcony.
“The next time we have sex, it will be in a bed and I won’t stop until you’ve climaxed with me inside you.” His breath panted in irregular intervals, but his deep voice was infused with absolute certainty.
She barely bit back the when that wanted to pop out of her mouth.
Oh, wow. Yeah. Not a good idea.
But she wanted it. So bad. She shook with the need to continue what they started, for just the experience of being held in his arms again.
“That can’t happen.” She wished her voice had even a modicum of certainty in it.
Some little bit of the self-preservation that lay in ashes around her.
“That’s a lie and you don’t do those.”
She opened her mouth to deny his words, but darned if he wasn’t right. “Please, don’t do this to me, Max.”
“What don’t you want me to do, Romi, my sweet virgin?” Why did those words sound so hot in his voice? “Turn you on? You weren’t complaining a second ago.”
She couldn’t deny it. Wasn’t sure she wanted to, even if she could. “Neither were you.”
But he’d stopped and she hadn’t even thought to try. Darn him.
“No, and I never will.”
Why did he have to say things like that? Things that could make her hope when hope and this man did not go together. “We still want different things.”
“Are you so sure? If I hadn’t stopped, you would have let me take you here and now.”
He was talking about sex when she was referring to a relationship. And he knew it. “Do you get some sick thrill out of rubbing in my own weakness to me?”
“It’s not a weakness, milaya.”
“So you say.” Her words lacked conviction, but he knew what using his Russian endearments on her did to Romi.
It wasn’t just the fact he called her lovely, but his possessive claim on her and how he only used this word on her. She’d asked him, annoyed when she thought he was just calling her the same thing he did every other woman he slept with.
He’d admitted he never used the Russian endearments with other women.
She hadn’t asked why because he had seemed less than thrilled about the realization and she hadn’t wanted him to stop.
Now she wished she had.
“So I know,” he responded, no lack of conviction in his tone. “Your passion is amazing.”
“You stopped.” It couldn’t have been that amazing.
“Because I want something better for your first time.”
“You’re making some big assumptions there.”
“Are you going to try to deny your innocence?”
“No.” And they were back to this again because this man never let Romi run her repertoire of avoidance techniques about the important stuff. “My first time isn’t going to be with a man who puts a sell-by date on his girlfriends before the relationship even starts.”
“And yet your first time will be with me.”
“I was talking about you,” she informed him sarcastically.
“No. You were talking about a circumstance, not a man.”
She stepped away from him and hated how cold that made her feel, and not just because of the goose bumps on her arms. “Are you trying to confuse me on purpose?”
“No, milaya. Not at all. I’m just telling the truth.”
“And what truth is that?” She was going to regret asking, she just knew it.
“That you will be in my bed very soon.”
“Without a sell-by date?” she asked with a tiny kernel of hope that felt almost like a betrayal.
But could he really have spent the last year wanting her like she’d been wanting him, enough to break his own set-in-cement rules?
“Not as a boyfriend.”
“What does that mean?” Was he trying to say he didn’t want any commitment at all?
A one-night stand? For the loss of her virginity? And why was that even a little bit tempting?
He never answered her question, just picked up his suit jacket and shook it out before putting it back on. Quality cut and fabric showed almost no effect from its sojourn on the balcony floor.
Somehow she found herself back inside dancing with the man, ignoring the glares of envy sent her way and doing her best to do the same to her own body’s weakness in the face of Max’s nearness.