A very Corporate Affair 2(71)

With my good deed for the day done, I heated up my ready meal, and made a latte, before checking my outfit for the funeral, and finally sinking into a deep bath. I was dreading facing the final reality of mum's death, but would be relieved to see Ivan safely home.

Next morning, I hit the gym at my usual time, using a punishing workout to relieve some of the tension I felt at facing the day. I got back to the flat by eight, and pottered around, before dressing in my black Mouret dress, with black stockings and black Jimmy Choos, putting them on like a suit of armour. With my black Prada bag at the ready, all I had to do was wait for Ivan. I made a coffee, and sat playing with my phone. When it rang, I nearly dropped the damn thing. I answered, and it was Roger, telling me that Ivan's plane had been delayed, and I should go on ahead without him. Less than five minutes later, Roger buzzed me to tell me he was downstairs. I grabbed my things, and headed down.#p#分页标题#e#

In the car, I got the distinct feeling that something was 'off'. "Ivan is alright, isn't he?" I asked.

"Yes, of course, his flight was delayed, and he's currently in the air. He sends his apologies."

I wanted to scream LIAR at him, and a pernicious, prickling fear crept over my body. I knew full well that Roger wouldn't tell me the truth if he'd been instructed to lie, so all I could do was wait. I tried to call Ivan, but his phone went straight to voicemail.

I watched Roger carefully as we drove to Welling. He was giving nothing away, his face was an impenetrable mask. We pulled up outside the flat, and I left Roger in the car, and rang the bell of Mum's old flat. Ray answered looking dishevelled, and invited me in. The flat looked like Beirut, with pizza boxes and mouldy coffee cups laying around, and a collection of empty beer cans growing in a corner. "Let me brush my teeth, and I'm ready. Would you make us a cuppa while you wait?" He mumbled, "only I got a bit wankered down at the Green man last night, so until I can get another beer, my mouth feels like dust."

"You're going to my mum’s funeral with a hangover? What the fuck is the matter with you? At least have a shave and a shower for fucks sake. Show some sodding respect." I felt ashamed at falling back down to his level, and swearing at him, but it was the only language he understood. He shuffled off into the bathroom, and I went to see if I could make a cup of tea.

For a start, the milk was so off, it was practically cheese, so I sent Roger down to the corner shop for milk, tea bags, and some washing up liquid and sponges. When he came back, I washed up two cups, and made a drink. I looked around the wreck of my old home, marvelling at how quickly it had got into such a terrible state. When Ray appeared, he at least looked a little cleaner, and had put on his least dirty shirt. He explained that he didn't have a black tie to wear, and hadn't wanted to waste benefit money on something that he'd only wear once. Loser.

At half eleven, the hearses arrived, with the arrangement of lilies I'd ordered, the only flowers present. My heart broke again for her. I was glad that I'd bought a nice big arrangement to decorate her coffin, as no other bastard had bothered. The neighbours began to come out of their houses to line the street, which I found strangely comforting. Ray and I climbed in the only car, and set off behind the hearse. Roger allowed mum's downstairs neighbours to hitch a lift in the Mercedes while he followed behind me. The rest of the cortège was made up of old Fords and some rusty Fiats, as we slowly made our way out of Lovell Avenue for the last time.

The crematorium at Eltham was a lovely place, with pretty gardens of remembrance, and plenty of tranquil spaces for reflection. The undertakers lifted Mum's coffin in, and I was struck by how tiny it looked, and how effortlessly they carried it. They placed it on a plinth in front of a pair of curtains, and retreated as we all filed in to the strains of 'Bridge over troubled water', her favourite song.

I couldn't tell you much about the service, or the reading, as I felt as though I was in a dream world. It was the most surreal experience of my life, saying the final goodbye to the woman who had tried so hard for me, and who had sacrificed so much to help me escape the life she had endured. She hadn't had dreams of her own, but she'd helped me with mine, even when she hadn't understood them, or even agreed with them. My tears began to fall. A tissue appeared by my shoulder, held out by a neighbour who was sitting in the row behind. I took it gratefully, and dabbed my eyes. At the end of the service, the curtains opened, and the coffin slid away. I said a silent goodbye, before standing to leave.

It was then that I noticed that the chapel was packed. Friends and neighbours had all turned out to pay their respects, and say their goodbyes to a woman who had been a good friend, and a popular person in the street. I managed a wan smile, and nodded at a few of the people who had been close friends of hers, and headed back to the car.#p#分页标题#e#