“Looking back, I can’t believe I allowed myself to sink so low, but I wasn’t aware that I needed help. All I could see was a black pit with steep sides that I couldn’t climb out of. Every day the hole seemed deeper. The company was months away from layoffs. I was taking my professional worries out on your mother, and that was eating me up. Then the car accident snatched her and Marie away from us. I was supposed to have driven them to the dress rehearsal for Marie’s recital that night, but I was delayed at the office.” Tony closed his eyes for a few seconds before resuming. “Those files could have waited until morning. If I had put my family first, they might still be alive. And in the end, all my work came to nothing. The job we’d bid went elsewhere and the company was on the verge of going under. I was to the point where I couldn’t live with my failure as a husband, father or businessman.”
So, this was the burden his father had carried all these years. Guilt had driven him to try to take his life because he’d perceived himself a failure?
And just like that, Jason’s doctrine citing the dangers of falling in love lost all support.
“I thought you were so desperately in love with Mom that you couldn’t bear to live without her anymore.”
“Her death was devastating, but it wasn’t why I started drinking or why I reached the point where I didn’t want to go on. It was the guilt.” His father regarded Jason in dismay. “Is that why you and Ming never dated? Were you afraid you’d lose her one day?”
“We didn’t date because we’re friends.”
“But you love her.”
“Of course I love her.” And he did. “She’s my—”
His father interrupted to finish. “Best friend.” He shook his head in disgust. “Evan had another bit of news for me.” Tony leaned his forearms on the table and pinned Jason with hard eyes. “Something Lily told him about Ming.”
Now Jason knew why his father had shown up at his house. “She’s pregnant.”
“And?”
“The baby’s mine.”
So was Ming. His. Just as he’d told her the night of Max’s bachelor party. He’d claimed her and then pushed her away because of a stupid pledge he’d made at fifteen. Had he really expected her to remain his best friend just because that’s how it had always been for them?
And now that he knew the truth behind his father’s depression, Jason could admit that he wanted the same things she did. Marriage. Children. The love of a lifetime.
But after he pushed her away last night, would she still want those things with him?
Jason’s chair scraped the floor as he got to his feet. He threw enough money on the table to cover their tab and gestured for his father to get up. “We have to go.”
“Go where?” Tony followed his son out the door without receiving an answer. “Go where?” he repeated, sliding behind the wheel of his BMW.
“I have an errand to run. Then I’m going to go see Ming. It’s way past time I tell her how I really feel.”
*
Ming swam beneath the pool’s surface, stroking hard to reach the side before her breath gave out. After leaving Evan’s house hours earlier, she’d been keyed up. After cleaning her refrigerator and vacuuming the whole upstairs, she’d decided to burn off her excess energy, hoping the cool water would calm both her body and her mind.
The exercise did its job. By the time she’d completed her twentieth lap, her thoughts had stopped racing. Muffin awaited her at the edge of the pool. As soon as Ming surfaced, the Yorkie raced forward and touched her nose to Ming’s. The show of affection made her smile.
“What would I do without you?” she asked the small dog and received a lick in response.
“I’ve been asking myself the same question since you left last night.”
A shadow fell across her. Ming looked up, her stomach flipping at the determined glint in Jason’s blue eyes. Relief raced through her. The way their conversation had ended the previous night, she’d worried their friendship was irrevocably damaged.
“Luckily you aren’t ever going to find that out.” She accepted Jason’s hand and let him pull her out of the water.
He wrapped her in a towel and pulled her against him. Dropping his lips to hers, he kissed her slow and deep. Ming tossed aside all the heartache of the past twelve hours and surrendered to the powerful emotions Jason aroused.
“I was wrong to dump all that stuff about Evan on you last night,” he told her.
“I’m your friend. You know I’m always there for you.”
“I know I take that for granted.”