A Tricky Proposition(48)
“I want you to be happy,” he told her. “Whatever that takes.”
“Do you?” She looked skeptical. “Last night I wanted you to stay, but you got all tense and uncomfortable.” A deep breath helped get her voice back under control. When she continued, she seemed calmer. “I know it’s because you have a rule against spending the night with the women you see.”
“But I spent last night with you.”
“And this morning you couldn’t put your clothes on fast enough.” She stared at him hard enough to leave marks on his face.
“So what do you want from me?”
“I’d like to know what you want. Are we just friends? Are we lovers?”
Last night he’d denied their relationship to his friends and felt resistance to her suggestion that he stay the night with her. As happy as Max and his brothers were to be in love with three terrific women, Jason could only wonder about future heartbreak when he looked at the couples. He didn’t want to live with the threat of loss hanging over his head, but he couldn’t deny that the thought of Ming with another man bugged him. So did her dismay that Evan had fallen in love with Lily.
“I won’t deny that I think we’re good together,” he said. “But you know how I feel about falling in love.”
“You don’t want to do it.”
“Can’t we just keep enjoying what we have? You know I’ll always be there for you. The chemistry between us is terrific. Soon you’ll be busy being a mom and won’t have time for me.” He turned the car into her driveway and braked but didn’t put the Camaro in Park. He needed to get away, to mull over what they’d talked about today. “Let’s have dinner tomorrow.”
“I can’t. It’s the Moon Festival. Lily and I are having dinner with our parents tomorrow. I’m going to tell them my decision to have a baby, and she’s going to tell them she’s moving.” Ming sighed. “We promised to be there to support each other.”
Jason didn’t envy either sister. Helen Campbell was a stubborn, opinionated woman who believed she knew what was best for her daughters. At times, Ming had almost collapsed beneath the weight of her mother’s hopes and dreams for her. She hadn’t talked about it, but Jason knew the breakup of her engagement had been a major blow to Ming’s mother.
“What about Tuesday?” he suggested.
She put her hand on the door release, poised to flee. “It’s going to be a hectic week with Max and Rachel’s wedding next weekend.”
Jason felt a sense of loss, but he didn’t understand why. He and Ming were still friends. Nothing about that had changed.
“What’s wrong?”
“It’s too much to go into now.”
Jason caught her arm as she pushed the door open and prevented her from leaving. “Wait.”
Ming made him act in ways that weren’t part of his normal behavior. Today, for example. He’d hid in her bathroom for fifteen minutes while she and her sister had occupied the bedroom. There wasn’t another woman on earth he would have done that for.
Now he was poised to do something he’d avoided with every other woman he’d been involved with. “You’re obviously upset. Tell me what’s going on.”
“I feel like an idiot.” Her voice was thick with misery. “These last couple weeks with you have been fantastic and I’ve started thinking of us as a couple.”
Her admission didn’t come as a complete shock. Occasionally over the years he too had considered what they’d be like together. She knew him better than anyone. He’d shared with her things no one else knew. His father’s suicide attempt. How he’d initially been reluctant to join the family business. The fact that the last words he’d spoken to his little sister before she’d died had been angry ones.
“Even knowing how you feel about love—” She stopped speaking and blinked rapidly. “Turns out I’m just like all those other women you’ve dated. No, I’m worse, because I knew better and let myself believe…” Her chin dropped toward her chest. “Forget it, okay?”
Was she saying she was in love with him? Her declaration hit him like a speeding truck. He froze, unable to think, unsure what to feel. Had she lost her mind? Knowing he wasn’t built for lasting relationships, she’d opened herself up to heartbreak?
And where did they go from here? He couldn’t ask her to continue as they’d been these past two weeks. But he’d never had such mind-blowing chemistry with anyone before, and he was a selfish bastard who wasn’t going to give that up without a fight.