A Time to Heal(31)

"I'm okay. Does that happen often?"

"No, thank God." He sighed. "I thought they were over. I hadn't had one for a long time."

"Come outside and let's talk about it."

"There's nothing to talk about."

"I want to understand, but I shouldn't come inside." She glanced around a little nervously.

He frowned, and then she saw his look of comprehension."Oh, right."

Then he saw her glance go to the backpack on the floor behind him.

"You're leaving?"

He shrugged. "I originally came for just a few days, visiting."

"But Matthew needs your help."

"I don't think I was giving him much help."

He stepped outside and shut the door. She noticed that he looked everywhere but at her.

"There's no need to feel ashamed for what happened," she told him quietly.

His eyes, full of emotion, flashed at her. "Easy for you to say. You didn't lose control. You don't know what it's like to have these things just come out of nowhere."

"You're right."

Shaking his head, he shoved his hands in his pockets and stared at the ground. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be taking it out on you. It's bad enough that I scared you."

"I can stand it. I'm hardly delicate."

He looked at her then, an intense look. "My mother always said a man's supposed to treat a woman right. That doesn't include scaring her."

"That's what this is all about, isn't it? What just happened out front. It's because you saw someone who wasn't treating a woman right. Who was she, Chris?"

The shuttered look came into his eyes again. He shrugged."Doesn't matter."

"I think it must matter to have made that kind of impact."She waited but he wasn't forthcoming. "Look, I don't know much about this sort of thing but maybe you should talk about it with someone."

"I did. But no one understood like—" he stopped.

She stopped and frowned as a thought began forming. "Is that why you came here? To talk to Jenny about it?"

His head shot up. "You just have to keep at things, don't you?"

He shook his head. "I don't think I've ever met anyone like you before. You're sure not what I expected an Amish woman to be like—" He stopped. "Wait, that didn't come out the way I meant it to—"

Hannah felt herself stiffening. She knew she could be blunt sometimes. Matthew had told her so on more than one occasion when she offered him advice. But he'd never made it sound like a character flaw.

"I mean, I thought the women here—"

"Were meek and mild and never spoke up?"

"No, well, yes, I mean, no, I—"

"We're not all alike any more than you Englischers are," she told him and she heard a tart tone in her voice. "But I'll apologize if you feel I've intruded."

With that, she spun on her heel and walked away.

"Wait! Hannah! Wait!"

Though she was tall and so her strides were long, he caught up with her in a few steps. He grasped her arm and stopped her.

"I didn't mean to hurt your feelings," he said.

She stared at his hand on her arm, remembering how his touch a couple of days ago sent unexpected feelings coursing through her. "Let go."

He dropped his hand. "I'm sorry. But I can't chase you across the yard."

Her eyes swept his form as his words made her curious about his injuries. She wondered again how the skin on his back had been scarred. Jenny had said she'd met him in the veteran's hospital but that's all she knew. She had no idea of the extent of the injuries he'd suffered. Since he walked—and worked—she'd just assumed he'd been healed.

"That's not to be talked about either, is it?"

"What?"

"How you got injured."

His face closed up. "It's not important." He glanced over where the men were finishing up in the fields. "I need to get back to work."

She began walking toward the front yard again. The tray and the glasses and refreshments were still lying on the grass where they'd fallen when Chris pulled her away from Josiah.Hannah knelt and began picking up the glasses and placing them on the tray.

Unexpectedly, Chris appeared beside her. He picked up a glass and handed it to her. "I'm sorry."

She felt herself tremble a little as she remembered how he'd run at her, yelling and acting like a crazy person, pulling her away from Josiah and making the tray she'd carried tumble to the grass.

Looking up, she met his eyes. "It's okay." She put another glass on the tray. "Please tell me what happened."

He hesitated.

"Please? Maybe it might help you." When he didn't answer, she sighed. "This isn't about me being curious. I realize I'm not Jenny, that I haven't gone through the same thing, but I really do want to help."