Forced to agree with Ma, Pa says yes.
I thank him.
And fling my arms around Ma.
TOAD
in a
LOTUS LAKE
In the over-cooled air of Radhika’s parents’ mansion,
after my hot, dusty bus ride,
I shiver.
My loose kurti shirt and long salwar trousers
look frumpy
compared to the tight tops and short skirts
every other girl seems to be wearing.
And I feel flat-footed as they tower over me
in high heels that clip-clop across the marble floor.
I want to run out the carved front door
at which I left my slippers the way I would
at any normal Indian home,
instead of keeping them on like the others have
as though we’re in some hotel.
My naked toes curl and dig into my foot.
I feel uglier and more out of place
than a warty toad stuck in a lake full of lotuses.
DIFFERENT DANCES
“Veda! I was waiting for you.”
Govinda offers me the warmth of his hand and I take it.
He leads me up a sweep of stairs
into a sun-soaked hall where music’s playing
and all the furniture’s pushed against walls.
Radhika spots me and gives me a hug.
“Thanks so much for coming.”
She looks lovely
in a curve-hugging dress and high-heeled sandals,
her dimpled cheeks accented with rouge.
Even her toes look perfect—
painted with a soft pink nail polish.
“Dance?” Govinda asks me.
“Don’t know how,” I say.
Radhika giggles. “You
don’t know how
to dance?”
“Not to this music, I don’t.”
“Good thing your teacher is here.” Radhika gives me
a playful shove. “Lesson time, Veda.”
Govinda pulls me to the middle of the room.
“Put your arms on my shoulders.
Now move. With me.”
I sense where he wants me to go
through the tensing and easing of his muscles.
It feels like learning a new language.
I remember daydreaming of dancing this way with Jim.
My stomach clenches with guilt.
But only for a moment.
Jim feels long ago and far away.
I feel the way I did when my cracked ribs finally healed:
delighted to discover there’s no longer any pain in my chest.
“Something wrong?” Govinda says. “Did I step on your foot?”