A Time to Dance(10)

            Time melted.

            I disappeared.

            Now

            I twirl so fast

            the world vanishes.

            Only I exist.

            Then

            everywhere, in everything, I heard music.

            Music I could dance to.

            Now

            is the music I long for most

            the music of applause?





SPEED





Our van rampages down the potholed road

            like a runaway temple elephant.

            The driver presses the red rubber horn, trumpeting it nonstop,

            like every other insane driver in Chennai city

            always in a hurry.

            Usually it drives me crazy, the useless sound of horns,

            the unnecessary speed.

            Tonight, the roller-coaster ride provides the exhilaration I need

            to stop brooding.


Strangers showered me with praise.

            Boys craved

            my attention.

            Who cares what Kamini says?

            I clutch the seat in front of me,

            pretend I’m a kid on the giant wheel at the Chennai city fair,

            pretend I’m flying

            every time the van hits a pothole and throws me into the air.


The driver

            swerves.

            Monstrous headlights from another vehicle

            glare at us.

            Brakes screech. Metal grinds against metal.

            My body careens sideways.

            I see the trunk of a pipul tree looming.

            A gray giant

            coming closer.

            Closer.

            “Shiva! Shiva!” someone screams.

            A man’s voice

            rasps out a swearword.

            “Stop! Brake!” Uday anna shouts.

            I hear Kamini’s terrified wail. “Aiyo! Aiyo!”

            Shattered shards of glass

            scatter moonlight.


Pain

            sears through me

            as though elephants are spearing my skin with sharp tusks

            and trampling over my right leg.

            The seat in front, torn and twisted,

            pins my body down.


Uday anna struggles to lift the crumpled wreckage

            of the mud-spattered seat.

            The drummer tries to wrench

            my trapped body free.

            Kamini stares

            down at me, shudders,

            turns away, retching.

            I smell