“I can say this: It’ll be hard looking at you and realizing we can’t, shouldn’t, be together.”
“You’re sweet. I knew that the minute I met you.”
A knock at the door startled them, and they both turned see a beautiful Asian woman entering. Tim immediately released Brandi’s hand and stood, smiling. “Hey, Monica, I didn’t know you were in.” He turned to Brandi and introduced the slender woman to his troubling student.
“Monica, this is Miss Miles. She’s the recipient of this year’s Bryon Seymour Scholarship.”
Monica Shang extended her hand, looking curiously from Brandi to Tim. “So, you’re the one. Congratulations, that’s a prestigious scholarship.”
“Thank you, I worked hard.”
“I’m sure.” She returned to Tim. “I didn’t mean to break in on anything.”
“You didn’t.”
Brandi looked at him, wondering if everything they had discussed was just idle conversation.
Monica continued. “I’ll leave you two alone. But Tim, I need the contract for the spring trip to Niagara Falls. We’ll want to get to work on getting that trip under way early. You know how that fills up.”
“Sure. Five minutes. Miss Miles and I are about done.”
“Fine. It was nice to have met you, Miss Miles.” Then she left, turning so fast that her long dark hair bounced against her face.
Brandi’s attention returned to Tim. “Co-worker?”
“Yeah.”
“She likes you.”
“Not a chance.”
“She does. Take my word for it.”
“She should like me. I sign her extra-credit reports.”
“I don’t mean that way.”
He sat back down, feeling aggravated by her suggestion. “No. She’s engaged.”
“Whatever, but she likes you the way I do. Face it.” She collected her book bag. “I should go, you’ve still got lots to do, I’m sure. I’m glad we had this because I don’t need anything distracting me from my work here. But if anything could, it would be you.”
Tim just stared at her, not really knowing how to respond, except to issue his usual invitation to his students. “I’ll be around if you need any help with my class.”
“Good, because I know I’ll need help in your class. I’m great with writing, but bad with focus sometimes.”
“That happens.”
“Not for you. I know you’ve won literary awards awards. Maybe you could help me with my writing. I’m actually better in math, if you can believe that.”
“Anytime, Brandi; just call my office or come by.”
She left feeling better about the situation, but still sick over the fact that her loving Jacob was now a memory.
Tim relaxed, but did not feel good about their meeting. He still wanted her, but didn’t know why. He and relationships were done, but he also knew she was way more than a one-night stand; they now shared a past, an enjoyable one, and he appreciated her intelligence. He loved how she truly made him feel like a man in bed, but it was over. She was his student. Remembering how lovely she looked in that yellow tank-dress made him regret being her teacher.
He sat there thinking about his failed relationships, and about why they were painful to him. His ex-wife, Charlotte, gave him the most horrible four years of his life. His family life as a child had been a nonstop nightmare. This was usually brought on by thoughts of his brother, whom he hadn’t seen in years. This time Greg wasn’t the cause, although they’d been at odds forever it seemed. He still didn’t know why because what happened really wasn’t his or Greg’s fault. Opening that can of worms was something he avoided at all costs. All he knew was that if he didn’t keep his protective shell in, he would go mad in no time.
* * *
Brandi had just gotten behind the wheel of her Escort when she heard Eric calling her. She thought she had seen the last of him a month ago when he, in his fake-sincere voice, pleaded with her to return to him. Instead of taking off, as she was tempted to do, she decided to hear him out one last time, hoping he would have something honest and civil to say, though she knew that was a pipedream.
She stared up at him through the half rolled-up window, afraid to roll it all the way down. Knowing him, he was likely to try to reach inside and grab what was no longer his. “Eric, what do you want?”
He wiped his sweaty brow. “Man, running after you these days is some feat.”
“Again, what do you want with me, Eric?”
“Just to talk.”
“I know what your conversations are about lately: nothing! I frankly don’t have time for it today, and I’ve got to pick up the rest of my books. So, if you don’t mind…”
“I do mind. Brandi, I just want to talk.”
“I had a feeling.” She laid her backpack on the opposite seat. “Look, this hasn’t been a banner day for me, and I don’t need you making it any worse.”
“We can’t end like this. I’ve invested too much time in this relationship for you to leave it.”
“There it is again. It’s always about you, isn’t it? What about me? The only thing you invested in the relationship was laziness, infidelity, and lack of commitment—three things I can’t stand. Now you want to talk! I don’t think so, not this day, not any day. I’m gone.” She started to raise the window, but he grabbed it.
“Brandi, please.”
“Don’t Brandi, please, me. I’ve had it with you. Go and talk to Stacey Neal. Wasn’t she the one crawling all over you, practically in front of my face? I’ve been going through the motions pretending you and I were happy, and I have figured out why I stayed with you—to please everyone but myself. You and Stacey were stabbing me in the back the entire time. I was the stupid one still trying to make it work. I must have looked like a complete fool to everyone. I sure feel like one now.”
“Will you stop for a minute? I’m sorry, okay? I knew I was wrong, but it just happened. You know how Stacey can be.”
“Don’t you dare blame her alone. You were a willing participant. She was my friend, Eric. How could you have done that to me?” She cranked the engine. “Leave me alone. Go on with your life as I have.”
“She’s the one who kept after me. I didn’t force her. Can’t you just give me another chance?”
“I’ve cursed her out already. Is it your turn now?” She turned up her CD player, hoping the singer’s voice would drown out his. She could still hear him talking as she drove off. His dull voice echoed in her head. “Brandi, please, let me make it up to you.”
How many times in the past had he screwed up, and she had forgiven him? Too many times, and this was it! Eric was actually the last man on her mind. What haunted her was not being able to be with a man she found absolutely incredible—Timothy Polaris. The time they were together, he treated her as no man ever had, but he could be the ruin of her scholastic ambitions. For the sake of a career, I have to give up the man I’ve dreamed about. That sucks big time! Tears ran down her cheek. Tim would never be hers; he wouldn’t allow it. Neither would society because of his race. Trusting another man after Eric would also be hard. It was mostly a color game, but the outcome seemed all black!
Even a cool shower couldn’t relax her, and an unusually hot autumn in New York didn’t help. She fanned her face, but couldn’t decide if her flushed appearance was due to Eric or to Tim. The latter seemed the likely cause. But he was clearly a no-no in her life.
Her father called her from downstairs. She knew he had been worrying all day at the police station about how his baby girl’s first day had gone. She didn’t know why she had moved back into her parent’s house from NYU’s dorm to save money for school in the first place. Her parents meant well, but her whole life was changing in ways they could never understand. They still saw her as a teen who was hog-wild over Eric, failing to see her as a grown-up.
“Up here, Dad.”
He poked his head through her bedroom door, a wondering expression on his face. Finally he said it. “Well?”
She had no appetite for talking about her less-than-perfect day at Madison. She took a deep breath. “Madison was okay. I know that’s what you’re getting at.”
“Just okay?”
“It was a drag, but I know it will get better. It just didn’t start out the way I thought it would.”
He walked over to her and began massaging her shoulders. “Madison is the only thing you’ve ever thought about as far as school is concerned.”
Now the names ‘Jacob’ and Timothy Polaris were the only things on her mind; he was the man who opened her eyes to the real world. Suddenly, the world wasn’t a pretty picture anymore.
To ease his mind, she spoke up and fixed the problem he had assumed she had with Madison. It was not the school it was the man there teaching English Comp 812. “Dad, Madison is fine. It’s the books. They’ll cost a fortune.”
He kissed her cheek like the princess he thought she was. “Is that all it is? Baby, we’ll get the books. Money is not a problem because your old man is police…”