He slumped into the chair at the foot of the bed and watched her sleeping. Twenty minutes of daydreaming about being on that bed made him mad—mad at himself for wanting what he couldn’t have, mad at her for being so beautiful and untouchable, mad at the crappy weather for throwing them together. He slammed his newspaper down, removed his shirt, put on his terry-cloth robe and tried relaxing in the chair. He drifted to sleep but was soon jolted. The flashing red numbers on the digital clock told him he had been asleep only a few minutes. He was awakened by the rain pellets slamming hard against the window, plus the ache in his back from the chair. The rain wasn’t letting up, and the wind was blowing with hurricane force. He had to stay there. They both had to stay there.
The bed looked so comfortable, and Brandi lying across it made it look all the more inviting. All he wanted was a part of the bed now. He was tried, angry; all that could go away if only he was in a warm bed. Brandi left an entire side for him, but he just couldn’t trust himself to be even that close to her. Tim got up and sat on the edge of the bed staring down at her. Her robe had come undone, and the sheet was barely covering her. Even in the dim light he could still see her partly exposed breasts, her nipple barely covered by the sheet and robe. His eyes moved down to her stomach, the band of bikini panties hovering just above her pubic line. God, how he wanted to touch her. He slowly removed the earphones and put them on to see what she had been listening to. Nothing could pacify him but touching her, but all he did was look.
CHAPTER 12
The roar of distant thunder awakened Brandi with a jolt. One arm was wrapped around Tim tenderly stroking his upper back as he lay across her. Realizing what was happening, she jumped up, forcing him to his side. Her hands covered her mouth. “God, no. What have we done?”
The sudden movement awakened him. He sat up on the bed, and saw the scared look on her face. “What’s wrong?”
She held her hands tightly together; her lips parted but no words came out.
“Brandi, are you okay?”
“Tim, what did we do? What did we do here last night to mess up our lives?”
“Brandi, calm down. We didn’t do anything.”
“Why did I wake up with you in my arms? Why were my hands on you? Why was your skin on mine?”
“We didn’t do anything. I slept in the chair for most of the night. You would have remembered had we done anything. I definitely would have. I got tired of the chair, and I sat on the edge of the bed. I guess I fell asleep. I’m sorry if I scared you.”
“You didn’t scare me. I scared myself thinking we had made love and not having any memory of it. That’s not the real issue here, though. I…I was afraid it would get out, that you would lose your job, that…”
“How would it have gotten out? Besides, I would never let anything like that happen to us.” He thought about the letter from Columbia, and figured now was definitely the time to tell her. He still couldn’t touch her until he was away from Madison—away from Brandi.
He leaned back on the headboard. “I received a letter from Columbia.”
“Columbia? What about?”
“I…uh—”
“You’re leaving, aren’t you?”
“Yeah. It’s hard telling you this.”
“Just answer this, when?”
“The end of the semester,. Dr. Moore knows, and is already searching for my replacement.”
Tim’s replacement. Sounded so awful. No one could truly replace him. Everyone at Madison would hate her if they found out she could be the reason he was leaving. “What about the trip to Niagara Falls? If you’re not at Madison…”
“That’s still on; both schools are going.”
“That’s good, at least. What about this hands-on we were headed for? Is it cancelled?”
“For now it is. I spoke with Dr. Moore about that last night too, once the phone lines cleared. He’s going to reschedule it for the week before the semester ends.”
“That’s good. What about the bus?”
“The bus parked, and everyone slept on it. They are en route back to New York.”
“I’m glad they’re okay. So, is this what you want, moving to another university?”
“It’s what I need.”
“You are doing this for me, then.”
He didn’t quite know how to answer her. If he said yes, he ran the risk of taking the easy way out for them. If he said no, her feelings would be hurt. He was fleeing, not from love but maybe for love. “I’m doing this for many reasons. Columbia is a great school, and I’m lucky to get on its staff. I’ve always liked Columbia, but Madison took me first, and I gladly went. It’s actually harder to get a teaching position at Madison than it is at Columbia.”
“Level with me. I know you love Madison. I see your enthusiasm when you’re in front of us, teaching your guts out. Every other word out of your mouth is about Madison. Now, are you leaving because of me? Tell me.”
A heavy sigh escaped him. “Yes.”
“I didn’t want that to happen.”
“I’ll love Columbia just as much. I’m in my element wherever I teach. It could be Princeton or Yale, just as long as I’m teaching. Besides, I’m connected to Columbia in a way after all.”
“How?”
“Every other semester, I give a speech on the life of literacy program. I encourage reading and writing programs at both schools. I gave one at Madison last summer. Next month, it’ll be at Columbia. But, Brandi, I want to be with you. I can’t do that at Madison, and I can’t expect you to leave there. You have more at stake than I do with the Seymour scholarship, and I can’t let you put that at risk when I could make the change.”
“You really did it for me, huh?”
“First time I’ve ever really wanted to do something for a woman other than take her to bed.”
“When do you leave?”
“The end of the semester. December eleventh is my last day.”
“The minute you can, will you call me?”
“That’s my plan.”
“Good. I have something to look forward to. I’m flattered that you would do this for me, and maybe a little—in love.”
“Don’t fall for me so soon. I don’t know about relationships, Brandi. You know they’ve never…”
“I know, never worked for you. One will, and I hope it’s with me.”
“Just hang in there with me. We only have a few more weeks before the end of the class and I promise to call you.”
“I can’t wait.”
Brandi passed Tim’s final exam with flying colors and turned in an excellent paper on Nathaniel Hawthorne, but one thing almost clouded her happiness about her grade—Tim’s leaving. In a much bigger way, however, she was happy about his move. It would allow them to be together, spend some much needed time in one another’s arms. Yes, that was the spark that put an instant smile on her face. She would be able to see him more than just in lecture. She could see him in life and love.
Two days after the final exam in Tim’s class, Tiffany visited Brandi. The first thing she said: “Have you visited your dear Timothy Polaris over there at Columbia yet? He’s there setting up his office before the Christmas break.”
“How do you know? Oops, sorry, you are the voice of New York. Of course you know where he is.”
“I did go by and say good-bye to him, since I was absent his last day of lecture. I gave him a really big hug, one big enough to melt a hole right through me, and it felt so damn good.”
“Did it make your day?”
“Sarcasm is hideous on you and you know it, especially with those shoes.”
Brandi looked down at her beige pumps. “What are you talking about?”
“It was a joke, girl! The point is, Brandi, you need to go see him.”
“Tiffany, I’m sure the man has been busy getting his classes arranged and adjusting to a new environment. Besides, I’ve been busy myself.”
“I thought by now you would have sprouted wings and flown over there.”
“I don’t want to seem pushy. I may just go over and say hi.”
“Just hi? You can do more than that now, he’s not your professor anymore.”
“I know that.” Brandi had wondered why Tim hadn’t called her since leaving Madison. She wanted to believe he was too busy settling in, but something told her it might be a little more than that.
“I know a way you can see him.”
“Give it a rest, Tiff.”
“No, I’m serious. You haven’t had the courage to see him, but I sure have. He’s giving that speech on the literacy programs before Columbia closes for the break. Wanna go?”
“I know he’ll be there. He told me about the program a few weeks ago. I have to go, anyway. I tutor adults one night a week in reading, my boss thinks it’ll be good for me to go.”
“Cool, we can go and see Timothy. Maybe after the lecture, he’ll take us to dinner—or to bed. The bed thing sounds enticing.”
Brandi laughed at her friend’s sly suggestion. “Where do you get these ideas, your older brother?”
“Who better? He’s been around; that’s for sure.”