“A lover?”
He ignored the question. “You shouldn’t be doing this with a man you just met. You’re too pretty for this. Go and find someone who can be a good man to you.” He fished for some money in his pocket. “I’m sorry I wasted your time. Don’t do this to yourself anymore.”
The woman eyed him cautiously, then reached for her clothes.
Once she was fully dressed, she put the money in her purse and called for a cab. He had left before the cab arrived, telling her to not open the door until she saw the cab.
On his way home his mind went back to the events of the day. He and Brandi had such a good time listening to the speakers, then he had to ruin everything by nearly losing control. Everything always came so hard for him, including simple things like being with a woman he knew he could love. He only hoped Brandi saw him as a man who’d had a weak moment, instead of someone she could never trust again.
After their brief but steamy encounter, Brandi wasn’t in the mood to do anything resembling work. She had rushed into the house practically in tears. All she had managed to do was shower and slide into her favorite nightgown. Later that evening, she lay across her bed trying to block out thoughts of Tim; nothing worked. Her Jill Scott CD only reminded her of him. Any love song brought him to mind. His kiss was so delicious, melting a hole in her. Remembering the way his body pressed against hers made her legs weak. Going into his house in the first place was a bad idea, feeling she would fall victim to her own emotions. Everything was so hard for her now that he had come back into her life. Making him part of her life even if she wasn’t attending Madison, would cause her problems—Why does he have to be white? She knew for sure that color was not an issue for her but it was for the people she cared about. They would make her life hard in ways Tim could never dream of, and she didn’t know if she was strong enough to handle the pressure that was sure to come.
Everything that happened that day gave her a splitting headache—enough to make her reconsider going back to NYU, scholarship or not! She put her pillow over her head to drown out all of the voices in her head telling her what to do, what not to do. All she wanted was her life to feel right for the first time in months.
A knock on her door startled her. At first she didn’t answer, figuring it was one of her parents wanting to know about her day. All she wanted was to sleep the rest of the night; she did not want to answer any questions.
Another knock. “Brandi!” It was her aggravating thirteen-year-old brother, Brian, who had made a point of telling Tim after the last home game that he wanted to play basketball for Madison. Right. But he and Tim hit it off really well. Since Tim had been a coach before, he was used to people, especially kids, telling him that they wanted to try out. She put the pillow back over her head.
Brian knocked again. “Brandi, wake the heck up! I want some DVDs.”
She didn’t want to answer him, but knew he would stay there like a dope until he got an answer. “Go away, Brian. I’m sleeping.”
“This early? Get real and open the door. I want Austin Powers. I know you think he’s groovy, baby.”
“Shut up, Brian. Or should I say, Mini Me?”
“You want me to get Dad?”
She jumped from the bed, grabbed the movie and flung the door open. “Fine, anything to shut you up. Can I be alone now?”
He stared at her weary face. “What’s your deal?”
“Killing you would be an idea. I’m tired. Okay?”
“Yeah, tired of being a hood-rat.”
“That’s your word for the week, huh? Those hood friends of yours may very well have you killed one day—by me. Now, get out of here. Go aggravate the dog, if she is not already tired of you.”
“Whateverrr.”
Sometimes she hated Brian, but at least he had taken her mind from Tim.
CHAPTER 8
Timothy Polaris walking out of the administrative offices at Columbia University was about the last thing Tiffany expected to see that morning. She had been there to get her transcripts from the year before. She ran towards him, calling to him like a madwoman. “Dr. Polaris, wait!”
He turned around and smiled into her pretty face. “Miss Jackson? I didn’t expect to see you. What are you doing here?”
“I took a few summer classes last year and had to get my transcripts. I’m being considered for next year’s Norton award, remember?”
“Yes, I remember, and that’s great. I always knew you could do it. Your grades are excellent, at least in my class. Should be no problem.”
“I hope not. I worked my butt off. I remember what Brandi went through to get hers.” She chose her words carefully: “Dr. Polaris. I had planned to come to see you soon anyway. I was wondering, well…would you write me a letter of recommendation?”
“Be glad to. When do you need it?”
“Yesterday, if that makes any sense. I’ll be glad to come by your office and pick it up.”
“I’ll do it today, since I took the day off anyway.”
“Why are you here? Don’t you have enough to keep you busy at Madison?”
“They’ve been hounding me to come in and see what they can offer me.”
“As in a job?”
“I’m thinking about it—seriously. They’ve been after me for two years. I decided I should at least talk to them.”
“You’re thinking about leaving Madison? Everyone will die.”
“You’re too kind, Miss Jackson.”
“No! I’m serious. You can’t leave us.”
“I didn’t say I was leaving, though it’s possible. Don’t let on about it.”
“I won’t, but aren’t you happy at Madison?”
He couldn’t tell her the main reason he felt the move would be good for him. True, he would miss seeing Brandi in his class, but it would free them from teacher/student complications. Getting away from Madison would give him the break he needed. Being able to step back and analyze his situation would help him decide if he could be a good man for Brandi. Given his past life, he wasn’t sure that he could make any woman happy.
“Dr. Polaris?”
He turned to Tiffany. “Sorry, seems I zoned out for a minute. There’s a lot on my mind today. Yes, I’m happy at Madison. It’s a wonderful school, but one should check one’s options, don’t you think?”
“I guess. I was really looking forward to having you next semester.”
“It’s only midterms, and you’re already thinking about next semester?”
“One should think ahead, right?”
“Right, but don’t write me off so quickly. I haven’t accepted the job here yet. I told them I would get back to them soon. I told NYU the same thing.”
“You’re really in demand, aren’t you?”
“Yes, I guess so, but I don’t know why.”
“You’re a genius.”
“I am not a genius, Miss Jackson. I just happen to be passionate about literature and writing.”
“You teach a good class. I would hate to see you leave.” She glanced at her watch. “Gotta’ go; I have Killborn in forty-five minutes, and believe me, she lives up to her name. She does kill us with her boring lectures.”
He smiled for the first time that day. “I’ll see you in class tomorrow, and I’ll have your letter.”
Tiffany hailed a cab and quickly slid in. “I’ve got to tell Brandi.”
* * *
Tiffany pulled in front of Brandi’s house in her father’s Hummer. “Hurry up, girl. You want to be late for Wesley Snipes?”
“Give me a break. The name of the movie is not Wesley Snipes, geek!”
“Whatever, he’s in it. That’s all that matters to me.”
“He is a hottie. I’m glad you’re early. Brian is getting on my last damn nerve. You should be glad you don’t have a little brother.”
“I have it worse. Todd is older than me, so he thinks he’s my father or something. And you don’t have a sister who reports every move you make as Trina does. Give me Brian any day.”
“Take him, please!”
Tiffany smiled impishly. “Speaking of hotties, guess who I saw coming from Columbia’s administration building.”
“Let me guess, another man you will soon be dating, right?”
“Aah, if only I could.”
“Who was it?”
“Timothy Edward Polaris.”
“Really?”
“Really. Guess what he was doing there? You won’t like this. No woman at Madison will like it.”
“He was probably just taking care of some business.”
“Oh, he was taking care of business, alright. I’m not supposed to tell you this, so don’t let on that you know.”
“Know what?”
“He was interviewing for a job there. Please, don’t tell him anything.”
“What? No, he wasn’t.”
“Brandi, promise me.”
“Okay, okay. But he was probably arranging a lecture for the school. He does do guest lecturing. Besides, he likes Madison too much to leave it.”
“He likes something else more.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“There’s got to be a reason for him to want to leave Madison. Can you think of anything?”