“Did they damage the Mercedes?”
“Cracked the windshield.”
“Really? I’m sorry.”
“Anyway, that’s why I would rather you come in. I know you don’t feel comfortable; neither do I, but it’ll only be for a few minutes.”
“It’s all right, Tim. We can handle one another on an adult level, right?”
He pushed her door open. “Sure.” I hope I can.
CHAPTER 7
Everything looked as it did the night Brandi first went home with him. The house was a rather large ranch with two bedrooms, well-manicured lawn, neat. Brandi could hear his shepherd mix, Myrrh, barking in the background. She entered and tried not to think of anything else. She walked into the spacious living room and immediately went to his book collection. “May I look through these?”
“Help yourself. I’ll get the papers from the bedroom.”
“Don’t forget the notes.”
“I won’t.” He entered the bedroom, wishing he was carrying her in his arms to place her on his bed. He quickly shoved the idea aside, knowing it would never happen as long as they both were at Madison. He picked up the folder containing the papers—they weren’t inside. “What the hell.…” He took a quick look around the room. Nothing!
Brandi called to him, “Are you okay in there? You’re making quite a racket.”
“Just looking for something. Be out soon.”
“Tim, may I play your Michael Franks CD?”
“Help yourself. I can’t find the papers anyway; give me a minute to find them.”
As he searched the room, the phone rang and he grabbed the receiver on the second ring. It was his neighbor Anthony Haliburton from across the street. “Tim, been waiting for you to get home. Myrrh had been barking for almost two hours straight. Is everything okay over there?”
“Two hours?” He looked around the bedroom, then peeked through the shades. “Looks like everything’s fine. He’s been fed, so I don’t know what the problem is.”
“He was barking like a mad dog before.”
“I’ll check on him. Thanks, Anthony.”
Returning to the living room, he saw Brandi looking through his CD rack. One look at her in that form-fitting jogging suit almost made him forget why he had walked back in. He cleared his voice. “Myrrh’s having some kind of coronary out there. Let me just check on him. I hope to find the papers.”
“You can’t find them?”
“They’re around here. Want a Coke or something? It’s in the refrigerator.”
“Oh, no thanks. It’s after seven, and I should go home, shower and get going on that next paper.”
“So soon?”
It was hard for her to even be there. “I hate doing papers at the last minute, so I had better get cracking. It will be due before I know it.”
“Let me check on Myrrh, and then I’ll take you home.”
It was unlike Myrrh to bark like that unless something was wrong. He approached the barking dog and stroked his thick fur. “What’s up, boy? Why the racket?” He pulled a piece of paper from the dog’s mouth. There were more pieces on the grass. Reading it as best he could in the fading light, he realized it was part of one of the papers he wanted to give Brandi. What the heck is this doing out here? He looked at the other pieces on the grass, and realized they were more of the papers he had wanted to give Brandi. Myrrh hadn’t been in the house all day for sure, nor had he taken those papers from the house. There were no signs of forced entry on either door.
Brandi was standing near the back door when he re-entered. “Is he okay?”
“Yeah, he’s fine. Parts of the paper I wanted to give you were out there, and I have no idea how they got out there. Anyway, let me check a little more and get back to you. Would that be okay? I know you have to get home.”
“Don’t worry about it. I have all night to study.”
He couldn’t find the rest of the papers, but brought out the notes. He entered the living room just in time to see Brandi swaying to the music.
Their eyes met, and she immediately stopped dancing. Her brown cheeks reddened to his unspoken advances. “I got caught up in the moment. Michael Franks is one of my favorites.”
“I can tell. Don’t stop dancing on my account.”
“Did you find the papers?”
“I have no idea where they are. I’m really sorry. They were really good and would have been a lot of help to you. I have the books, though.”
Brandi walked towards him, moving so close to him that she could see the tiny laugh lines at the corners of his sexy mouth. Her voice weakened. “I truly appreciate the use of your notes, Tim.”
He was nervous around her, nervous, hardly knowing what to say. “Those were good seminars, don’t you think?”
“Very enlightening. Thank you for inviting me.”
“It was my pleasure.”
She hugged him in gratitude. Her arms encircled his neck, feeling smooth skin, and his body heat filtering through to hers.
His arms tightened around her, pressing her into the tightness of his groin. He broke from her, looking into her eyes. When he spoke, his voice was husky, his words awkward. “I…uh, didn’t mean to hold you so tightly.”
“It’s okay. I hugged you first.”
“I should take you home; you have things to…”
“Yes.”
His fingers brushed against her lips. He felt her heat, her intensity. A picture of her sitting in his lecture hall flashed in his mind, and he dropped his arms to his sides. “Let’s get you out of here, Brandi.”
He stepped back not saying another word, just staring at her. Chest heaving, eyes searching the ground, he was a man in pain from wanting what he couldn’t have. “Let’s go before I lose my ever-loving mind!”
“Tim, I’m…I’m so sorry.”
“Forget it. It was my fault. I shouldn’t have brought you here.”
“It wasn’t just you. You know how I feel about you.”
“Please don’t feel that way about me, Brandi. It’ll never work.”
“I know. We could both end up losing it all.”
“I can’t have that, Brandi. I just can’t have it.” He saw tears in her eyes and almost reached for her hand. Touching her would start a chain reaction too hard to stop. He picked up the notes that slipped from her hand. “Don’t forget this.”
* * *
It was a long, silent ride from his Jamaica Estates home to hers in Brooklyn. Tim stopped the car in front of her house and leaned across her to open her door. Figuring what to say to her was agonizing, but he decided to just come out with something to try and ease her mind. “Brandi, don’t let what happened stop you from getting my help with your papers. You’re supposed to see me on Wednesday.”
“It won’t stop me, but I can’t ever go back to your house again. You do understand, don’t you?”
“It’ll be better that way. I’m glad you went to the seminar, though. It was good for you.”
She said good-bye and headed towards the house on the verge of tears.
Sounding desperate, he called to her: “Brandi…I’m sorry.”
“So am I.” She ran across the lawn and disappeared.
All he could do was sit there and give into his feelings. He could still feel her lips on his. But he knew that would not happen again unless one of them made a move. He drove off troubled. His interview with Columbia that following Monday was a definite yes; he had to get away from Madison, no matter how much he loved it there. The invitation to Columbia had been open before Brandi had resurfaced in his life.
He found himself at a bar downing another scotch. He dreaded going home to the place where he kissed her as he had never another woman. Too many fresh, unsettling memories to face. Selling his house briefly crossed his mind, but he realized that selling it would be too stupid a move even for his state of mind.
Sitting to his left at the bar was a young blonde ready to walk out with him the minute the minute he finished his drink. He kissed her on the lips, pretending they were Brandi’s, but there was no comparison. Tim set the glass down, took the woman’s hand, and left with her.
They headed for a mid-town motel he had frequented. He simply had no stomach for taking anyone to his house after having made love to Brandi there. He lay across the bed feeling numb and emotionless. The young woman spread eagle on top of him, kissing her way down from his moist forehead, teasing, kissing.
He usually loved women undressing him, but not this night! He looked at her face…and didn’t see Brandi. For a split second, he was ashamed, actually feeling as if he were cheating on Brandi. Yet he let the young woman stroke the front of his pants, slowly pulled the zipper down. He suddenly took her wrists, stopping her.
She smiled at him, caressing his stomach. “Come on, sugar. I know you’re not bashful; you’re too sexy for that.” She tried unbuttoning his shirt again, but he held her off.
“Stop. I can’t do this.” He moved to the side of the bed.
“Did I do something wrong?”
“No. It’s not you; it’s me. I just can’t to this.”
“Do you have a wife?”
“Not anymore.”