A Taste of Temptation(10)
Her voice intruded, bringing him back to reality, a Moll Flanders reality. “There were struggles; she was complex, as you said.”
“You seem to like her complex aspects as much as I do. As you know, Moll was orphaned, forced to fend for herself at a very young age.” Moll’s life made him think about his own young life, and what he had to do to survive in foster homes. Thinking of what happened in one of those homes caused him to go off track.
“Are you okay, Tim?”
“Sure. Why?”
“You zoned out for a minute; like you went somewhere else.”
He straightened in his chair, disgusted that his past still haunted him. “No, I was trying to get a better feel for the character.”
“Are you sure? We can reschedule?”
“Really, I’m fine.”
Naturally you are. Tim represented a whole different side of her brain that she still wanted to explore, but didn’t feel comfortable doing so. He was that large gray area that she had no control over.
As she listened to him rattle off the complexities of Moll’s life, her mind wandered, too. He was so incredibly knowledgeable to be as young as he was. He would be hard to get over, and constantly reliving that evening with him didn’t help. His sexual gifts were way beyond anything she could have imagined. “You are so incredible to me, Tim.” Oops!
His eyes met hers and he put his pen down. Why am I here with her? Both of us are falling apart. “Brandi, don’t do this. We are here to concentrate on your paper—only that.”
“I’m sorry. It just slipped out.”
He massaged his left temple. “Maybe this was a bad idea. You know we can’t be together, and continuing this will only make it worse.” His mind hadn’t been on Moll Flanders, either. Brandi was a real struggle for him, but for the sake of her schooling and his career, he could not falter. “Can we do this, or do I need to refer you to Miss Shang’s tutorial?”
“No! I…I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for anything to come out. I’ll be okay; please don’t stop tutoring me, Dr. Polaris, I really need to pass your course.”
“Don’t get upset. I didn’t mean to get on you, but I don’t want us to get into trouble. You will pass my class, Brandi, but it’s going to take a lot of work, not only with the books but being professional as well. You understand, don’t you?”
“Yes, but it’ll be hard trying to keep my mind off you. Tell me that you also understand.”
“You know I do. Now, is it going to be me or Miss Shang, plain and simple, Brandi?”
Her voice dropped. “I want you.”
That hit him hard. Her answer had more than one meaning—for them both. His voice softened: “I’m sorry if I scared you. Are you okay now?”
“I guess so.”
“Good, then let’s explore Moll Flanders in more detail. Moll also had sexual issues, Brandi. There were instances of incest, homosexuality, prostitution, and multiple lovers. That could be one aspect of Moll you could address. What do you think?”
“That might be a good angle, because there’s a lot of that throughout the book.”
“Right. You could explore how her personality fit into all of that and what made her explore those issues. You’ll have to dig into Moll’s personality to make this work. Do you have any resources?”
“Just the book, but I could go on line…”
“I’ve done that for you; got some things that might be helpful. I also found some of my old notes. You can use them if you like.”
“You did all of that for me?”
“Sure. I pulled them out last night. I said I would help, and I am.”
He handed her the package. “You should start on this as soon as you can, and if you need me again, you could call me. Here’s my cell and the office numbers.”
That wasn’t what she wanted, easy access to him. Her mind would go a mile a minute until she dialed him. Restraint would be the key, and from what he said he had to help her use it. He seemed different from Jacob, perhaps because she was getting to know him in a different light.
“Another paper is due in three weeks. Can I call on you again for that one if I need help?”
“Yes, but you won’t need me; everything you need is already inside you. Just use it.”
“When do you want the paper?”
“The sooner the better; couple of days, maybe. I’ll edit it for you if you like—give you extra input before it’s due.”
Silence. They were okay as long as they were talking business, but the minute it stopped, the awkwardness set in. Brandi grabbed her backpack from the floor. “I heard you’re thinking about that assistant coach position for the Madcats this year.”
“Maybe, but I think I have too much on my plate for that. They knew I did some coaching at the high school level.”
“Cool. I’m on reserve cheerleader squad since I was late for try-outs last spring.”
“I didn’t know. I haven’t checked the rosters. I’m sure you’ll get your chance to show Madison what you have.”
“Sure hope so.” She checked the clock on the wall. “Better get over to Thorndyke. He’s a killer on people coming late to his lab. Thanks for the info.” She looked at him strangely. “Are you okay with me calling you Tim?”
“I guess, but not around other students.”
“Good I’ll make the paper a good one…Tim.”
“I know you will. You’re incredibly talented.”
She smiled. “Are you trying to say you like my mind?”
“Definitely.”
* * *
“So, how’s Moll Flanders coming along, Brandi?”
“Good, actually. I have the paper right here.”
“Didn’t take you too long.”
“That information you gave me was so helpful. Thank you so much for that.”
“Anytime. Now, let’s see the paper.” She watched him while he read, smiling at times, agreeing at times on her comments about Moll’s strong and willful personality. “This is nice. You really captured Moll’s persona from what I’ve read so far. She was rough, uncouth, but basically a victim of the times. I think your paper is going to be excellent. You have put in more in about her personality, and how that way of life affected her.”
“You know all of that already?”
“I read quickly. From the first two pages, I knew you were on the right track. I’ll read it later, then record it.”
“You think I may have gotten my A?”
He smiled at her. “Brandi, I haven’t read the rest of it. I’m sure your A is on its way.”
“I just hope you’ll say that at the end of the paper.” He watched as she grabbed her backpack. “Are you in a hurry to leave?”
“Not really. Why?”
“There are some things I would like to discuss with you.”
That rattled her, thinking he still had issues about her blurting out her inner thoughts to him the other day. “What’s going on?”
“There’s a lecture being held in White Plains weekend after next. There will be discussions on William Bradford, Defoe, all the writers from that era. I was wondering if you’d like to join me? You can take your own car and follow me if you like.”
“White Plains? That’s a distance. I’ll let you know. Besides working with the adult literacy program on Fridays, I also work at the bookstore every third Saturday.”
“Maybe you can get out of it that day. I really think this will help since my class is centering on the romance and renaissance eras. Certainly, your papers in the near future will center on some of those authors. Might be good for you.”
Being up there with the renowned Timothy Edward Polaris and fighting to keep her distance would be hard. Tim brought on a lot of drama that she was not in the mood for.
“Let me know what you want to do. By the way, you’ll be at this weekend’s Special Olympics fund-raiser, won’t you?”
“I wouldn’t miss it, and we’ll beat out Rutgers for top donations.”
“We always do. Good luck with your paper, Brandi. I’m sure you did everything I wanted you to.”
He exhaled once he was alone. Why did he feel so out of sorts in her presence? The only answer was that she was incredible in every thinkable way, and she learned so fast. He knew her paper was good just from reading one section. Everything was good about Brandi, but she was still that awful taboo in his life. The way his life was, he would only make her miserable, and she would end up leaving him anyway after learning about of his past. No, he couldn’t let anyone into that ever again. It was his to deal with and his alone. He walked into the oppressive heat with her still on his mind.
* * *
When Tim reached the multi purpose area of Miller Hall, Monica was already there, counting the minutes. He rushed in. “Sorry I’m late, truck issues. What’s up with the supplies?”
“The list for the textbooks and note pads are all wrong. Where were you when the order came in? You were supposed to be here a half-hour ago.”
“I was caught up with Miss Miles, helping her to get a paper together.”
“Brandi? Is she still having trouble?”
“She’s on that scholarship, Monica, and if she goes below a B average she can kiss it good-bye.”