“No, please continue. It’s fascinating,” replied Ed as the couple got to an intersection in the maze. Both options looked identical but Donald knew exactly which way to go. He ushered Ed down one of the tunnels and was about to continue when someone came from the other direction. As he came closer, Ed could see it was a Roman centurion.
“Hi, Don,” uttered the Roman as the three met in the tunnel.
“Hi, Frank. This is Ed.”
“Hi, Ed, it’s good to meet someone from more recent times.”
“Well it’s nice to meet a Roman centurion, Frank. Must have been quite a period to have lived through,” replied Ed, curious as to the modern looking flat top haircut and small tattoo on his ear.
“Well I’m really from Aldershot and I died in 1990; a tragic accident in a fancy dress firework display. How I wish I had gone in normal clothes. I was a dreary tax inspector. Still interested?” replied Frank with honest irony.
“Well, maybe not, but Aldershot’s okay,” replied Ed before Donald added,
“I’ve left the net down there so keep your eyes peeled, Frank. Good that we saved this one.”
“All right. I’ll see you back there. There’s going to be a knees-up later apparently.”
“Oh good, see you there,” replied Donald as they went their separate ways.
“I thought people kept themselves to themselves in here,” queried Ed.
“Not really. I’ve heard some of the other portals are like that. We like a bit of a vibe in here. That’s why I stayed. I had a few uninspiring transiences but when I landed here then it was enough for me. I never saw those Tumpleberries though.”
“Anyway, do you remember my grandfather? His name was Albert Tindall,” queried Ed.
“Albert Tindall, Christ! Yes, I do remember him. A very hard bastard with a real reputation; a real fighter by all accounts.”
“Really, old grandpa? He was harmless later in life.”
“I assume that he survived the war then?”
“Physically, but not mentally. He was always slightly absent up top. Spent his whole life waking up every night drenched in sweat, shouting. Other than that he had a hard life as well. He didn’t get looked after by the government when he got back. He had been wounded in the lower back, really limiting his work options. However, they refused to be liable in any way whatsoever and their medical team never acknowledged the severity of the injury, even though he had more than ten independent assessments identifying him as partially disabled. He got very disillusioned and sorrowful. He had such strong beliefs at the start of the war about fighting the good fight and rule Britannia but it all really came to bite him in the face.”
“That’s terrible. I have heard other stories along those lines. If those politicians knew what we had gone through for king and country they would certainly have thought again. Truth is that they are spineless fuckers that would never be seen on a battlefield. It’s all a con really. When I joined up as a seventeen-year old what could I possibly have known about politics, philosophy of life or anything meaningful regarding why wars should or shouldn’t be fought or why it should involve me? In retrospect that war was down to a load of posturing wankers playing brinksmanship with other people’s lives and destinies. It’s a crime of inadequacy on every level.”
“I know. That’s why he wanted to come out at the end of his life and tell the real story for a TV documentary. The program was called ‘What we gave and the price it cost and the lies that deceived us’. It caused a lot of resentment amongst the modern armed forces who it transpired were being treated in a very similar way.”
“Frankly, I’m glad I died, especially after I ended up here. I very much doubt if I could have lived a happy life out there after all I saw and experienced. What I would have given to be seriously injured and sent home. I thought I had bought that ticket when I got shot in no-man’s land on a raid. We moved on from barbed wire duty to kidnapping. We used to sneak over at night and kidnap German soldiers from their trenches. It was terrifying. Stealthy crawling in the darkness and then jump in and grab one of them, knock them out and carry them back for interrogation. Anyway, one night we had got this little guy. My mate Danny smacked him over the head and we started to drag him back whilst the others tried to get some others. Unfortunately he hadn’t hit him hard enough and he came round, grabbing his pistol and shooting me through my shoulder. It really fucking hurt. We dropped him down and Danny shot him at point blank range. Of course, this woke the whole fucking German army. The bright night flares went off and there we were, smack bang in the middle of no-mans land illuminated like a couple of ducks in the fairground. Immediately the machine guns started to spit their murderous vermin into the night. You could hear the bullets whizzing by like super speedy fireworks. Dan got hit straight away. I just saw his head explode, literally explode as I dived into a bomb crater about the size of a hot air balloon, rolling down into the mud and stench. The first flare faded and then another one went up, then another. The bullets darted off the top ridge of the crater, spraying dirt, stones and bits of metal into the hole. I put my head down, covered it over with my metal helmet and prayed like a goodun. They kept rattling away for over an hour. Then our boys whipped a few artillery shells over in that direction and hey presto, no more flares and no more gun fire. I just had to hold out there for a bit and then try and crawl back to the British lines. It was horrendous in there though. Bits of body, legs, arms, torsos, all severed and at various stages of decomposition. By comparison the corpses that had remained reasonably intact were pretty well outnumbered. I was so pleased the flares stopped illuminating the grizzly horror. I think the worst moment was a rat crawling out of the stomach of one of the dead. Disgusting little rodent covered in blood, all over its body, face and whiskers. I threw up right then and there, and shot that little fucker with my pistol. I knew I couldn’t die in that spot. I had to get out of that hole.”