A Survivor's Guide to Eternity(18)

“Yes, but I’ve been awake for hours watching and listening to you snoring. It wasn’t a whole lot of fun, I can tell you that.”

“Don’t worry, I’m awake now. No more snoring, I promise,” replied Sam reassuringly.

“That’s good. Anyway, I’ve got to be honest with you, Sam. Sleeping on this hasn’t made this whole scenario any more believable,” said Ed, as Sam began to stir.

“I know. It wasn’t easy for me either in the beginning. I’d wake every morning, hoping it had all gone away, and that when I opened my eyes, I’d be with my wife on holiday. It was really only after my first transition that I properly started to come to terms with it. If you can believe for now, then reality will take control once you have jumped. Don’t despair, you’re not the only one,” said Sam trying to comfort the first-timer.

“Yes, I keep telling myself that, but comforting oneself with the notion that it’s okay because you’ll be killing yourself soon does have a few contradictions in it,” replied Ed reflectively.

“Well at least you’re killing a tortoise and not something you love.”

“You’re full of confidence-boosting insight, Sam,” replied the hard-shelled animal ironically as he turned and began munching a lettuce leaf to his left. Sam did likewise with the pate before ripping open the Mars bar and scoffing the lot.

“Crikey, that lot went quick! You’ve got some on your snout, it looks weird. You’re a very messy eater,” observed Ed as Sam’s tongue came out and swept the outside of his face, clearing up the mess, as he returned to his horizontal position, leaving his head bolt upright looking at Ed.

“You look like one of those pharaoh’s statues outside a temple.”

“They were cats weren’t they?” replied Sam.

“Whatever. One thing’s for sure, you can get up, stretch, yawn, move around, sit down, and stand up again. All I can do is sit in this same bloody position with my arms, legs and head all poking out like a bloody starfish. It’s very annoying,” barked Ed.

“I think they are all legs. I don’t think any of those are arms. Just a small observation. It doesn’t change anything really.”

“So my head’s a leg now is it?”

“No, not your head, just your arms. Well, they’re not arms, they’re legs. You know what I mean?”

“Very helpful once again, Sam. Thanks for that. At least I liked the lettuce though. I can’t get over how much I like it.”

“Yeah, there are lots of surprises like that as you go from animal to animal. On the positive side, you’ll certainly get reincarnated into more agile animals than a tortoise, trust me.”

“I’m sure. Anyway, changing the subject, I was wondering to myself last night what life is worth without ambitions, possessions, desires, success and all that. What do you think? Was that a problem for you?” enquired the tortoise with interest.

“For sure, but then it’s all about being philosophical and trying to understand your own position in the scheme of things. Of course one feels sad about losing life as we knew it, but that would have to have ended at some point anyway,” replied Sam.

“Yes, but it makes me sad to lose it before my time.”

“Well don’t get too despondent, Ed. Life as you knew it was temporary, fleeting and finite. There’s nothing permanent at all, either about your existence, your species or even the planet or solar system that hosted it all.”

“You are so comforting.”

“I’m just stating fact. Becoming aware of that puts you in a much better position to become enlightened or liberated.”

“I know. It’s a shock though. I did think of things as permanent. That’s what I built my ambitions and objectives around.”

“That’s no different than imagining a holiday camp is permanently yours, even though you would be fully aware that it was only a two-week holiday.”

“Yes, but it feels like yours when you’re there.”

“That’s as maybe but at the back of your mind you always know it’ll end and you’ll be back in your office, school or workplace at some point. The equivalent with human existence is the awareness of death. We all know it will happen but choose not to dwell on it. We notice it deeply when someone we know passes. That sadness is not just about the loss, it is also a realisation that it will definitely happen to us one day as well.”

“That’s very true. Luckily not many people I knew died. When they did, it was horrible though. A strange, dark absence, looking at the seats they sat in and the shoes they wore. It was hard to accept that they would never return.”