Soon they had cleaned up, tidied themselves and headed back to the event.
“This is the first time I’ve been intimate with someone straight away like this. It’s not like me - please don’t get the wrong idea. But I want to see you again, Ed,” said Abella as she slid a small piece of paper into his pocket before adding,
“that’s my mobile phone number. I expect to hear from you.”
“You will, trust me on that. I’ll text you my number.” With this, Ed placed his hand on her shoulder, stopped walking, and turned her to face him.
“I tell you one thing from the bottom of my heart; I will never treat you like that animal treats you. You’re like a goddess in my eyes. I would give everything for you. I’m going to resign on Monday. This will be a lot easier if I’m not working for your husband.”
“Soon to be ex-husband, Ed.”
“Sounds good to me,” replied Ed as they skipped off back into the hall. Less than a year later they were married and Ed had started his own company.
***
He felt very sad reflecting back on his wife and that magical evening. He would never see her again and it filled him with such an overwhelming sadness. His thoughts turned back towards his current predicament as he continued his very slow passage towards the fox lair.
The sun was beginning to bake the ground and heat his shell like a little oven. He realised why he had felt so hot and dazed the previous day carrying all that weight around whilst being slowly cooked like a lobster in its own shell. He looked forward to getting underground in the fox den sheltered from the heat. The going was getting tough though, as he struggled on in the bright day.
“Get inside your shell,” he heard from beside him as he saw the fox come into view.
“Get inside your shell,” the fox repeated.
“Well, I don’t know how to do that.”
“RAFFF, RAFFF, RAFFF,” the fox barked loudly, forcing Ed instinctually to shrivel up into the shell and out of sight.
“Thank you,” gasped the fox as he got behind Ed and pushed him with his snout, speeding along the path like an out-of-control bobsleigh.
“AArrggghhhhhhh… Wheeeyyyyyyyyyyyy, errrrrr,” Ed cried out helpless, but excited at the new rapid mode of transport offered to him.
“This is too much, stop, stop! More like, how the hell are we gonna stop?”
Suddenly, the tortoise was propelled into a soft bush, tossed over and over until he landed in an upside down position, whirling around like a spinning top.
In no time, the panting fox was on the scene, having lost control of his projectile.
“Sorry about that. Lost control a little bit. Easier than you walking though,” barked the fox as he flipped Ed upright like tossing a coin.
“Yes, easier for sure, but that’s like saying that jumping off a high rise is quicker than using a lift. Thanks for the thought, though.”
“Don’t mention it. Anyway, we’re here now, you can get in the shade. I suggest you pop behind that bush though and do a bit of natural stuff before you enter.”
“Yes, I’ve been holding that one off. I don’t know how it will be. I haven’t been yet. Is it the same?”
“How do I know? I’ve never been a tortoise! Do you want me to have a look at what you have back there?”
“No I bloody well don’t, thank you very much. I’ll go and do it alone. I am sure nature’s designed it so it’s not pointing in my face.”
Ed slinked off behind the bush and quickly did his thing before heading back over to Sam. Exposing himself to the elements in such openness seemed strangely comforting, dropping off his parcels without any toilet paper or bidet to finish up with. It did little to hide the smell though, intriguingly scented and evocative.
“That’s incredible, it did smell like flowers. That is one improvement on the human situation for sure.”
“Yeah, but it’s not always the case, trust me on that,” said the fox shyly as he headed down into the lair, followed by the tortoise.
It wasn’t all that deep, but was enough to give protection from the elements and any aggressive beasts that might fancy an impromptu vulpine snack. It was surprisingly spacious with twigs and leaves scattered around, adding a degree of comfort in spite of the circumstances. The fox lay down, slightly on his side, his head peering back over his body with the brush wrapped around preventing any nasty draughts.
“Don’t suppose you have room service?” uttered Ed before taking up his position opposite the fox.
“I’ll go and get something later for both of us. There are a couple of small shops through the bushes which are easy to raid.”