‘Which is?
Why did you stop me communicating with my father? That was what Fliss had intended to ask him but for some reason she heard herself saying instead, ‘Was it really you who stopped me from making contact with my father?’
The silence in the room was electric, the air almost humming with Vidal’s tension, and Fliss knew immediately from his unmoving silence that her question had caught him off-guard.
‘What makes you ask me that?’
Should she lie to him and say it was just curiosity? If she wanted to hear the truth from him then maybe she should start the ball rolling by offering him her own truth first. Fliss took a deep breath. ‘Something your mother let slip, by accident, that made me think what I’ve always assumed to be fact might not be.’
‘When the decision was taken it was done with your best interests in mind,’ Vidal told her obliquely.
He was choosing his words carefully—too carefully, Fliss realised. Too carefully and in a way that suggested to her that he was concealing something—or protecting someone?
‘Who took that decision?’ she demanded, adding fiercely, ‘I have a right to know, Vidal. I have a right to know who made that decision and why it was made. If you don’t tell me I will go back and ask your mother and I shall keep on asking her until she tells me,’ she threatened wildly.
‘You will do no such thing.’
‘Then tell me. Was it your grandmother? My father? It has to be one of them. There wasn’t anyone else. The only other person involved was my mother …’ Fliss had almost been speaking to herself, but the sudden movement of Vidal’s head, the brief tensing of his jaw when she mentioned her mother, gave him away, made her stiffen and stare at him in disbelief. Her voice was a raw, emotional whisper as she demanded, ‘My mother? It was my mother? Tell me the truth, Vidal. I want to know the truth.’
‘She believed she was doing the right thing for you,’ Vidal told her, sidestepping her question.
‘My mother! But you were the one who brought my letter back. You …’ Fliss felt so weak with shock and disillusionment that she couldn’t help saying tremulously, ‘I don’t understand.’
The admission was a small agonised whisper that made Vidal want to go to her and hold her protectively, but he fought the urge. He had sworn to himself that he must allow her to have her freedom, that he must not impose on her the burden of his love for her. It was hard, though, to see her so distressed and not be able to offer her the comfort he longed to give her.
Instead all he could do was say quietly, ‘Let me try to explain.’
Fliss nodded her head, sinking down into the nearest chair. Her thoughts and her emotions were in total disarray, and yet totally focused on what her questions had revealed. But still there was something about the sight of Vidal wearing only that towel around his hips that touched her senses as though they were a raw wound, reminding her of all that she could never have.
‘After my father’s death, control of the family’s affairs and finances passed back to my grandmother. I was a minor, and my grandmother was my trustee along with the family solicitor. My grandmother’s treatment of your father, combined with her refusal to help your mother financially or recognise you, resulted in your father having what was in effect a minor breakdown. Your father was a kind, loving man, Felicity, but sadly his mental health was damaged by my grandmother’s determination to ensure he married well. He was a very gifted amateur historian, and as a young man he wanted to pursue a career in that field. My grandmother refused. She told him that it wasn’t acceptable for him to take up any kind of paid occupation. As I said before, your father was a kind and gentle man, but my grandmother was a strong-willed woman who rode roughshod over everyone and thought she was doing the right thing. She bullied and cowed him from the moment she realised he wanted to choose his own path in life. She never allowed him to forget that she was trying to do what his birth mother would have wanted for him, and that caused so much guilt and confusion in him. That was why he gave up your mother so easily, and I believe it was also why he had a breakdown when he learned of your mother’s pregnancy. He wanted to be with you both so much, but he could not stand up to my grandmother. He never recovered fully from that breakdown.’
Fliss could hear the sadness and the regret in Vidal’s voice and recognised that he had cared a great deal about her father.
‘I have never ceased to feel guilty that it was my thoughtless comment that provoked my grandmother into questioning Felipe and your mother about their relationship. And I never will.’