A Stone in the Sea(83)

“Wouldn’t have shown back up here if I wasn’t willing to give you both everything, Shea.”

Those steely grey eyes hardened, and his hands were back on my neck, as if he were desperate for a way to latch onto me. “I need you to know I might still be going to jail. Tried to fix that while I was gone, but I managed to fuck that up, too. My attorney and manager are doing everything they can to make sure that doesn’t happen, but this asshole…this guy was feeding my baby brother pills after he knew he was trying to get clean.” He sucked in a breath. “There’s a lot of stuff we need to talk about, things you need to know about me, but above it all, I need you to know I will always protect my family, Shea. Won’t ever back down from that, no matter what it costs.”

Respect and fear and anxiety wound through me, because I completely understood what he was saying. He was asking me to accept the devotion he had for his family, as if I could ever count that a negative. That’s something I understood about Baz. His undying devotion. If he was in, he was all in. I knew that counted for me now, too.

Of course the idea of him being locked away was terrifying. Truly. Imagining him behind bars was like a kick straight to the gut. But just like he’d do whatever it took to stand behind and beside and for his family, I would do the same for him.

The same as I would do for my family.

Because that’s what you did for the people you loved.

I love you. It burned like bliss on my tongue, but some piece of me was too scared to say it, afraid of the way it’d sent Sebastian running when I’d voiced it the first time.

Instead I let my trembling fingertips run along his full bottom lip. “I hate the thought of you leaving me. But I’ve known since the first night I was with you how important your brother is to you…how important the guys are. It’s one of the things that drew me to you. What makes you who you are. And if you have to go, then I’ll be right here waiting for you.”

He dropped his forehead to mine, one hand palming the side of my face, fingers gliding into my hair. “Shea…my sweet, sweet girl. Don’t wanna hurt you.”

This time when he said it, it didn’t sound like a promise he would break, but a promise that he’d do anything in his power to keep.

“All week I’ve felt torn between these two worlds…you and the life I know. But I can’t just leave the band behind. I couldn’t do that to them.” Every muscle in his body tightened, and he sucked in a breath as he rolled his forehead against mine. “And playin’…it’s where I’m free, even if I hate the life that goes along with it.”

It sounded like an apology.

Under all his sharp scrutiny, I swallowed. Emotion pressed full between us. The words were barely audible, whispered an inch from his mouth. “I would never ask you to give that up.”

His nose brushed mine, and I could feel the flicker of his wistful smile, hear the rumble in his chest, then feel his hands cupping my face and sliding down my neck.

“And that’s what makes you who you are,” he murmured so low, yet I felt the impact of it strike me deep.

My fingers traced his face, nose skimming his, our mouths a fluttered breath away, our bodies giving into a slow sway of attraction.

Feeling.

Feeling.

Feeling.

“Would you kiss the poor boy already?”

Our attention jerked to the side where Charlie was standing at the end of the hall, his forearm bracketed high up on the wall. His grin was wide and somehow sad, filled with worry and concern, but above it all, his hope for my happiness.

“Charlie,” I shot out, a little mortified. “What is wrong with you?”

“What? You think I was going to sit out there and not come check on my girl?”

“My girl,” Sebastian disputed with a possessive smile tossed over at him.

Charlie chuckled and scratched at his scruffy chin. “So that’s how it is, then?”

“Yes, sir.”

Charlie slanted an eye my way. “You happy, baby girl?”

“Yeah, Charlie. I’m happy.”

So insanely happy.

He just nodded satisfaction and lifted from the wall, turned, then disappeared back out into his bar.

We watched him go, before Sebastian choked out a laugh and looked back at me. “I’m pretty sure your uncle wants to kick my ass.”

A small giggle worked its way up. “Yeah, I think he might.”

“Good. I deserve it.”

Pulling back, I searched his face. “But he let you play?”

Honestly, I was kind of shocked Charlie would concede, that he’d even allow Sebastian the honor of gracing this bar with his presence at all. The last acknowledgment my uncle had made about Baz was a slew of mumbled profanities and something about hunting him down, cutting off his balls, and serving them to him for dinner.