She frowned as she squinted at me through the subdued light of the room. Her face fell. “Not okay.”
Humorless laughter rolled from me, and I rubbed both my palms over my puffy, swollen eyes. “No. Not okay.”
Turning away, she paced on her blood-red heels and wrung her hands, huffed out a breath before she turned back to me and began to ramble. “I’m sorry, Shea. You have to know how terrible I feel over this. I should have said something a long time ago, but it was the first time I’d ever seen you interested in someone…and…and…” She hiked up her shoulders and dropped them in defeat. “I just wanted you to experience that.”
“You recognized him right off?”
Hands on her hips, she dropped her head and gave a quick nod, blazing blue eyes returning to mine. “Yeah. I kept waiting for you to catch on, but then I realized you really had no idea who he was. He made it clear he wanted to keep it that way, too, and as much as it killed me to keep my mouth shut, I decided it wasn’t my place to go blabbing to you.” She quirked a brow. “And you know how hard it was for me to keep my mouth shut.”
“It’s not your fault. I just feel stupid that I didn’t know.”
Hurt that he didn’t tell me.
Scared of what he was.
Intrigued by it all the same.
“Don’t. Their kind of music is obviously not your thing. I mean, you live in Savannah, Georgia, after all.” She winked, doing her best to lighten the mood.
“And it’s your thing?”
A grin flitted at the corners of her mouth and she pulled her phone from her back pocket, scrolled through and held it up, showing me her music player catalog that included three Sunder albums.
“You’re a fan.” It sounded like a disappointed statement, although I wasn’t entirely sure why I felt that way, like I’d been left out when she’d had a piece of Sebastian long before I ever had.
She rolled her eyes. “Um…I’m no fangirl…but I do like their music.”
“Really?” I asked, almost incredulous.
A smirk pulled at her red lips. “What? I like my boys tattooed and screaming.”
I laughed a little, but it broke over the emotion still clotted in my chest. I sank back into the office chair, and Tamar stepped over to me, ran her fingers gently through my hair. “Seriously, Shea…are you going to be okay? What happened out there…that couldn’t have been easy to take in.”
I shook my head. “No, it wasn’t.”
At first it’d been pure jealousy. I’d been sure Baz had stumbled upon an old lover. Or worse, maybe a not-so-old lover. The one thing I did know was he hadn’t been in town all that long, and a flood of insecurity had come barreling in. The fact I really didn’t know him or own him or possess him the way he possessed me, and I was hit again with the reality that I was soon going to lose this man.
The only promise he’d ever made me was the one that he was going to break me.
Standing at my side, she hugged my head. “He’s still out there, you know. The other guys took off pretty quickly after they’d been discovered.”
Slowly I nodded, not knowing what to make of that or what to make of him.
Did this knowledge really make him any different than who he’d been? The person he’d bared to me, the one he’d shown me, the glimpses of his soul he’d given without the benefit of the full picture?
“I’d better get back out there before Charlie comes looking for me.”
“Do you mind if I hang out in here for a while?”
“We’ve got it under control out there. Don’t worry about it.”
“Thanks.”
Tamar locked the door behind her when she left, and I sat in the near darkness while time crept by. Hours dragged, but I found I couldn’t make myself stand. At just after three, a key rattled in the lock and Charlie let himself in.
He sighed softly when he found me sitting at the desk with my head propped up in my hand, still feeling small and sad, but somehow resolved.
“We’re all finished up out there, Shea Bear.”
“Okay.”
His lips spread into a grim line, and he crossed his arms over his chest. Since I was a little girl, he’d always been my most staunch protector.
Until Baz.
Funny how after that night when I’d been thrown to the ground, it seemed Sebastian had stepped into that position, like he’d belonged there all along.
“He’s still out there,” Charlie warned. “I couldn’t get him to budge from behind that booth. He’s been sitting there all night.”
I nodded acceptance. “Go on. I’ll have him give me a ride home.”