She relaxed a bit, her stance not quite as tense. The door opened, sending a blast of cold air onto her. She shied away from the chill, back toward the dining area. Back toward me.
She squared her shoulders, as if she were about to take on an entire rugby team, and approached. The frown on her face told me I was barely the winner in the Niles versus hypothermia battle.
She eased into the chair opposite me and continued her skeptical perusal.
“You’ve gotten big.”
She arched an eyebrow.
Good one, Niles.
“I mean, you’ve grown. Not that I’m saying you’ve grown like big. I mean, like, you’ve filled out and …” Stop, just stop talking.
She crossed her arms over her chest, which only made her breasts look bigger. Mayday, mayday.
I took a gulp of my too-hot coffee to avoid having to make any more sounds with my mouth. It burned like the fires of hell, but I didn’t make a peep. Christmas music piped through the speakers and did a poor job of covering the uncomfortable silence.
She’d sat with me. It would have to be enough. Besides, just busting out an apology with no explanation or build up didn’t seem to be the best move. Or did it? I couldn’t tell. All I knew was she was giving me a death glare I wasn’t sure I’d ever recover from.
She took a small sip of her coffee and her gaze slid to the door. I was losing her. I couldn’t stall. It was now or never.
“I’m sorry.”
Her eyes opened wide and she set her coffee down so hard it geysered from the lid and landed with a slap in the floor.
“Sorry?” she hissed. “Sorry for tormenting me, calling me names, embarrassing me, spreading lies about me at school, getting other kids to call me ‘assless Anna’? I could go on, Niles.” She put a lethal dose of venom into my name.
She was right. I had been a rotten prick to her.
“I know. And you’re right to be angry.” I didn’t think she’d still be this angry, but I supposed what I thought didn’t matter at this point. “I was having a hard time with our parents’ marriage and I did and said things I never should have. I’ve wanted to apologize—”
The pretty barista came up and bent over to clean the spill. Her ass was in the air, her magenta thong clearly visible over the top of her jeans. I glanced away from it, but it was too late. Annalise had seen me looking.
“You can’t be serious right now.” Her voice rose, anger in each note. “You want me to come over here and sit while you try to explain how sorry you are for torturing me when we were teenagers and, just to put the cherry on top, you ogle the waitress? You think this is a joke? You think those years of you treating me like an ugly stepsister were funny?”
“Hey, I’m a barista, not a waitress.” Pretty barista really didn’t need to interject herself.
Annalise threw her hands up. “You know what? I’m done.” She grabbed her coffee and practically darted to the door. She looked back once. I don’t know why. But I saw the tears gleaming in her eyes and it tore at my heart. Then she was gone out into the cold.
Chapter Three
Annalise
I stumbled out of the coffee shop, painful memories swirling through my mind. I thought I’d gotten over all of it, all of the horrible things Niles had said and done. I had no idea just seeing him would cause it all to come bubbling back to the surface. It didn’t help that when I first glanced at him, I thought he was a ridiculously handsome stranger. Then I realized it was him.
Having to sit with him and listen to him tell me how he was sorry? It was torture even if it was delivered in a posh accent.
I rushed to the street corner and waited for the light. Cars with red reindeer noses drove by on the slushy street. The chalet was a few blocks away. I couldn’t get there fast enough. It was freezing and I was desperate to lock myself in my room and calm down from the pain Niles inflicted. Just like old times.
I took a swig of coffee, desperately trying not to make a mess as my hands shook. The light finally turned and I crossed the street. I crunched through the gray snow and up onto the opposite curb. Then I struck up a quick stride, fighting against the sting of the wind. But compacted snow must have stuck to the soles of my flats, because one foot skidded out from under me and I was falling. I squeaked as both feet lost purchase.
Strong arms wrapped around me and put me back on my feet. I steadied myself and looked up at my savior. Bright blue eyes, square jaw, red hair – Niles.
“Thought you could use a little help.” His hand was still on my elbow, sending heat through the joint and up my arm. Something was in his eyes I’d never seen before. Warmth.
I shook my head. Three years couldn’t turn Satan to a saint. It was the same old Niles. I yanked my elbow away.
“Thank you. I can handle it from here.” I turned my back and kept walking.
I made it the next corner and waited on the light. He was behind me. I could feel him, as if the air between us was expanding and buffeting against me like a strong wind. I shot him a sharp look over my shoulder.
He shrugged. “We’re going to the same place.”
The sparkle in his eye was irritating. Yes, only irritating, nothing more. I turned back around and crossed with the light. He maintained a steady pace behind me, never coming to walk by my side. Good.
I reached the next corner and paused while other people crossed or waited for the light at the busy intersection. They were buzzing about Christmas shopping, lift passes, and skiing gear. All I could focus on was him. He edged closer as more people gathered at the corner. I scooted up closer to the curb. Traffic had ebbed and I wanted to cross, the light be damned.
Before I could step into the street, he put a hand on my waist and pulled me back. “Wait for the light.”
A car turned right in front of us. It would have hit me if I’d stepped down like I’d intended.
Damn. Niles was throwing off my headspace, making me do things that were beyond dumb.
I just needed to get to some sort of sanctuary where I could think straight. His hand was still on my waist, making any rational thought impossible. My hair stirred at my ear from his warm breath, scented with delicious coffee. His fingers pressed into me almost possessively. His chest was hard against my back as he kept me against him.
“Calm down, Annalise. I’m not going to hurt you. Not anymore.” It was a whisper I wanted to believe.
The light finally changed and we were moving. When his hand left my waist, I missed its pressure and warmth. Like an idiot.
The crowd spaced out as we reached the next corner and only a handful kept trudging up the slope along with Niles and me. We passed storefronts with ropes of garland and lights. Scents of peppermint and cinnamon flavored the air. I should have felt comforted. Instead, I felt on edge. My emotions were roiling. Niles didn’t seem like the boy I remembered. The one who stole my diary and read my most secret thoughts before throwing them back in my face. Red suffused my face at that particularly painful memory.
Maybe he was different. I granted him that. But would that be enough to make me reconsider anything? How much could a person really change?
“Annalise, please, just let me walk with you.” He stayed behind me, waiting for my permission. No, definitely not the Niles I remembered. The Niles of days past would have barreled past me, not caring if I fell on my ass. Actually, he would have preferred that outcome.
I slowed my pace. He matched me, still waiting for some sign of assent. I took a deep breath and waved my hand in a “come on” motion. He took the few steps between us and walked at my elbow. We moved along a bit slower than my previously frenzied pace. He smelled wonderful, like coffee and some sort of woodsy soap. I pushed my scarf further up, trying to cover my mouth and nose against the invading scent.
“Cold?”
Was that genuine concern in his voice, his blue eyes? I looked away quickly, staring up toward the chalet. I was frozen, my Dallas wardrobe no match for the mountain winds. But I just wanted to get out for a little walk and a lot of caffeine. A shiver shot through me.
Niles moved closer to my side. “Here.” He shrugged off his heavy coat.
“Wait. No.” I tried to scoot away. The last thing I wanted was help from Vile Niles. But he slung the warm coat around my shoulders. It was toasty and smelled even more like him. “Won’t you freeze.”
“No, I’m good. Really.” He was wearing a blue plaid button-down with some sort of thermal looking undershirt. His jeans were a dark blue, hitting his muscular frame in all the right places. Whoa. That was not the way to be thinking. Not at all.
“So, how’s school?” He asked, his elbow touching mine lightly as we ambled past the bustling storefronts.
“Fine.” I drew my arm closer. Touching was bad, especially when I couldn’t decide if I wanted to run or snuggle more deeply into the coat that smelled like him.
He sighed. “Okay. I get it. Walking’s enough for me.” He looked down into my eyes. “For now.”
A little thrill went up my spine at his words. Disgust, surely that was why.
We walked the rest of the way in silence. Ugly memories paraded through my mind but they were cut off by his hand at the small of my back when we maneuvered around some ice or the way he looked at me with concerned yet somehow hopeful eyes. Confusion settled over me like a fresh snow. I’d always believed that the best predictor of future behavior was past behavior. But Niles was destroying that paradigm moment by moment.