What he was about to request of her, he had no right to do. And he knew it. “Do you think you could ever forgive me?”
Nick patiently waited for her to answer. If she told him to go to the nearest bridge and jump he only had himself to blame.
“I forgive you. But do you really mean what you just said about NJ?” She wanted to believe that what he said was the truth. He put a finger to her lips. “Ssssh. Sweetheart our son is staying right here with you.
Summer’s tiny frame collapsed against Nick’s. For the first time in months, she finally felt free. Free from the miserable dark cloud that constantly threatened to storm over her. Free to not have to worry about Nick thinking the worst of her. Most important, free to know in her heart that her precious baby would always be with her, in her care where she could love and nurture him forever.
“Thank you.” Summer whispered as she kissed his lips.
Standing, he gently placed Summer on her feet. “Come with me.”
Hand in hand they walked to the nursery. Summer stepped in front of the crib. Her hands were itching to pick NJ up. She didn’t want to disturb his sleep.
Nick eased up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. On cue, she leaned back into his strong, solid body. Silently they watched the sleeping infant. Summer whispered, “He’s so beautiful.”
Nick kissed the side of her face. “He’s his mother’s child.”
“What are you talking about? He looks just like you.”
“Are you calling me beautiful?”
“Yes.”
Slowly, he turned her to face him. Silently they stared into each other’s eyes communicating without words just like that night of their first date. In the sweet stillness of the room, they both understood that they would always be an integral part of one another.
Nick was the first to break the silence.
“Um, I think I better get going, it’s late.”
Summer didn’t want him to leave tonight or any other night.
“Stay the night with us.”
Summer had spoken so softly Nick thought he was hearing things.
“What did you say?”
“I said I want you to stay the night with me and your son.”
He pulled Summer close. Loving how she felt in his arms. “Are you sure?
“Positive.”
♥♥♥
Sleep eluded Nick as his mind filled with thoughts of his life and what had become of it. With all of his accomplishments, they did not compare remotely to the newfound joy he felt from the petite woman snuggled against him and the sleeping infant down the hall.
Holding Summer so close, he was even more determined never to let her go. She had not lied; she had given him everything, and then some. In return, he had uncaringly taken everything she offered and more. He had blamed her and labeled her deceitful. When in all actuality he was to blame. After all, it was his primal lustful desire that changed the course of their lives a year ago. Now they both were living according to the consequences of their actions. During that time in their lives neither one of them had a desire to be a parent. But none of that mattered now. Every time he looked at or touched his seed an indescribable feeling washed over him. Within a span of a few seconds, NJ’s life would flash before Nick. He would envision his taking his first step, his first day of school, pitching at his first little league game, starting high school, and going off to college. These images always caused a thick lump to form in his throat nearly cutting off his oxygen.
Nick gently squeezed Summer. He thanked God she had the strength and willpower not to cave into the pressures of terminating her pregnancy, killing their child. In the past, he believed the lie ‘it’s not a baby, only a mass of cells during those first few weeks after conception. The truth revealed its self the instant NJ emerged from his mother’s body full of life. He had always existed and was born with a purpose regardless of the circumstances of his birth. For whatever reason, he and Summer were the vehicles responsible for their son’s existence. And he thanked God for such an awesome blessing.
Overwhelming shame and guilt tied a knot around Nick’s neck, suffocating him as he replayed Summer’s tearful admission of what she had gone through. Abandonment, humiliation, chastisement and rejection by people she had loved and cared about. And he was the main culprit who gave her the greatest degree of heartache and pain.
Without even thinking, he quietly questioned himself. “How could I hurt love? Hurt Summer?”
Nick accepted what he’d tried so hard to resist. Love. He was in love with Summer and knew he needed her like the oxygen he needed to breathe. She was his oxygen. This time when he squeezed her it was with all of the love he had for her and then some. All of the love he denied her. Love he should have freely given to her from day one when he realized she was special and different from the others.