A Soldier’s Heart(49)

His eyes flew open, the pupils expanding to study her face as intently as if for the first time.

“Serena, you’re here,” he breathed with such tenderness, she began to tremble.

“You’re cold,” he exclaimed, gathering her closer until she was spooned against his warmth.

Her heart pounded so loudly, surely he could feel it where her breasts pressed against his arm? Afraid to speak, to do anything to break this spell, she willed her pulse to calm.

“I’m sorry I woke you again. Someday I shall talk about the nightmares. Then perhaps I can vanquish them.”

With a courage that had been forged this night, she shifted so she rested on his chest to study his face in the glow from the hearth. ‘Tell me. Together, we can surely vanquish them.”

A light sparked in the dark eyes. “You’ve been through so much tonight, I—”

This time it was she who stopped him with gentle fingers on his lips.

“Above all else, I wish to share your pain.”

Clasping her fingers, he pressed a kiss on their tips and then held them tightly.

“My nightmares are of the two days my regiment was ripped to pieces. I was powerless to do anything.” A faraway look came into his eyes and Serena knew he was back amongst his men. “Higgens fell. Even though the men fought bravely, there was no hope. I tightened our line, encouraging the men. For the first time, ever, I felt despair. That’s when I scribbled my farewell to you. Then I was wounded, trapped beneath my dead horse, but they rallied to me. My own men, forming a shield around me. Even Jeffries. And for what?”

He shut his eyes and Serena felt his chest heave with remembered pain.

“The battle shifted, but Jeffries wouldn’t leave me. He was always so damn stubborn! He was shot through the heart trying to drag me to safety.

“It was all utterly meaningless.” As he opened his eyes upon her face, his voice roughened. “All those deaths! A needless waste of brave men’s lives. We were at the peace table, but we had our orders. Fight on! For what? I once thought I knew. But as I lay there with Jeffries’s lifeblood oozing over me, I realized I didn’t know anything. I had only been an idealistic dreamer seeing all as I wished, not as it was. My world and the people in it became strangers to me.”

Swallowing back tears at the anguish tightening the skin against the strong bones of his face, she found her answer in honesty. “I was a stranger. You thought me perfect, and when you returned, you saw I was not. Had never been. Plus I had changed in truth and became … me. I’m sorry, but I’m not sure perfection is possible for any of us.”

He gripped her shoulders so tightly, they ached as he held her firmly to him. “Serena, you are…” He shook his head, his eyes boring into her. “There are no words to describe what I felt when I saw you with Polly, heard your words. Such strength and understanding humbles me. You are…”

“I am your wife,” she finished for him. The force that had driven her along this path since his return took another twist, and for the first time, she initiated an embrace. This night she needed to be held in these arms again. And in his eyes she saw an answering need.

She touched her lips in slow movements over his wrinkled brow until it smoothed, down over the strong cheeks to the long mouth, and hovered there. “I’m your wife, Matt.” For the first time she used his name freely.

Cupping the back of her head with a grip of steel, he pulled her mouth down to his, letting her feel the warmth of his desire. She met the scorching passion with her own aching needs.

His mouth took hers again and again as they strained to be closer. His deft fingers slid her night-shift down her body so there was nothing stopping their desperation to touch and be touched.

In the dim light her gaze found his mesmerizing eyes bright with passion. He placed his hands on either side of her face and levered himself up.

“Serena, perfection has a new meaning, and it is you.”

“No, my dearest, it is us—together.”

Through the onslaught of dizzying emotion she rejoiced he did not speak of love, for he had the first time, and that was as nothing to what she felt now. He filled her with such exquisite sensations, she was not lost to passion, she became one with it.

At last she slept nestled against him, her cheek resting upon his heart, the steady beat bringing her peace.

Somewhere in the fuzziness of half sleep she thought she heard a knock and a voice and stirred fretfully. But he quieted her with a whisper and she felt his lips playing across her curls. Everything was all right now. They had a new beginning.

From somewhere deep in her sleep-numbed mind fear woke, but she pushed it back to its dark corner, clasping her husband more tightly in her arms.