A toast to His Majesty, poor sick man, and the Regent, was quickly followed by a tribute to Matthew. Cecily squeezed her fingers under the table and shot her a wide, dimpled smile. Serena knew what was utmost in her mind: Kendall would be home during her Season, and she would have her opportunity to snare him.
Uppermost in Serena’s thoughts was the anticipation of seeing Blackwood and again recapturing the dizzy emotions of their wedding night, which had ever haunted her dreams.
Her euphoria continued gaining strength as word of the Treaty of Fountainbleu reached London and men were rumored to be already returning. This Season’s frivolities surpassed all that had gone before. The ton was prepared to celebrate victory without end.
One afternoon at tea she and Cecily regaled the duchess with the newest hearsay concerning troop movements and talked of nothing but Kendall and Blackwood’s triumphal return. Her Grace was smiling indulgently at Cecily’s dramatic protestations that she intended to honor Kendall as a hero of the nation all her life when Longford suddenly burst through the door.
Serena took one look at his set face and knew something was very wrong.
“Richard, what a pleasant surprise.” The duchess gracefully lifted her hand for his kiss. “I shall have another cup brought immediately.”
“No, Mother, I fear I need something stronger!” He sprawled in a chair next to his sister. “This came through with the dispatches, and since I was visiting a friend at the War Office, I said I would deliver it myself.”
Since the large packet was directed to Her Grace, the Duchess of Avalon, she opened it. Inside were several sheets of paper folded over with their names on them. The duchess handed two to Cecily.
She instantly opened both. “One’s from Matt wishing me a successful Season and bidding me not to break too many hearts. The other is from Lord Kendall.” Her voice was full of breathless excitement as her eyes scanned the page. “He sends his regards and regrets he cannot be in attendance for my come-out ball but asks for the first waltz upon his return.” She clutched the sheet tightly to her breasts with such an enraptured expression on her lovely face, even her cynical brother’s long mouth curved in something other than his usual sneer.
“What does Matt say in your letter, Mother?” Longford asked carefully. Serena experienced the strongest feeling he was waiting for something.
“He sends us his love and his hopes for his father’s improved health.” Her smile didn’t quite reach the dark eyes she had bequeathed to all her children. “We have the best for last. Serena, there are several sheets addressed to you.”
Almost reluctantly, Serena unfolded her letter. She didn’t get beyond the first few lines. Cold disappointment froze her until she forced herself to blink away the ache behind her eyes.
She looked straight at Longford. “You knew, didn’t you?”
“I guessed, knowing my brother.” He shrugged.
“What? What is it!” Cecily demanded, jumping to her feet, the precious note from Kendall still clasped to her bosom.
“Blackwood is not returning. Fourteen thousand men are to go to the colonies, and he feels honorbound to go with his regiment. Kendall goes also.”
Cecily fell back into the chair, her eyes filling with tears.
Needing to be alone, Serena rose and sent a fleeting smile in Her Grace’s direction. “Please, excuse me.” It came out a broken whisper and she fled the room before she lost her composure entirely.
The conservatory was a refuge—the chrysanthemum plant sat in its place of honor: green and alive, but dormant. Dropping down beside it, she spread the sheets across her lap and forced herself to reread the hated words.
Dearest Serena, after your last letter which was so heartfelt, I hesitate to write these words, but must. Now that we have vanquished Bonaparte we must attend the war in America, which has been hampered by a deficit of experienced men. My regiment volunteered to a man. I must be with them. Sweetheart, understand it is my duty to accompany my men to Chesapeake Bay. With these veterans of the Peninsula we shall rout the colonists in short order. Sergeant Major Higgens was retiring, for you must know he’s much older than most, but he, too, stays on to lend his help to our cause. I cannot desert my men before our task is done. Most of Kendall’s regiment also goes. Dearest Serena, understand I do what I must, but know full well I feel as you do and ache to be reunited. In your words I sense some changes in you, but I carry the perfect image of you in my heart and I cling to it. Tend carefully the symbol of our true love as I do each day we are parted.
Blackwood
He wasn’t coming home! His love of duty obviously was more important than any feelings he had for her. While her regard for him had deepened, being surrounded by his things and the people who loved him most, had she become nothing more than a pleasant memory? Refusing to give in to such thoughts, she shut her eyes, reliving each of their meetings in her mind.