“You just might do.” He drew on the reins. With a nod from him, the carriage pulled away, and Longford galloped ahead, leaving her waving until they were out of sight.
Even without Cecily’s companionship, the days were full. The nights were hard. She filled them by reading volumes from Blackwood’s library, but it was difficult to concentrate when most of her thoughts were focused on receiving some kind of word from or about her husband. Her husband … with whom she’d spent but one night, but who became more and more important to her each day. There would be so much for them to share when he returned.
She was in the library reading one of the books on political philosophy when Stevens solemnly presented a packet brought by messenger from London.
Inside were two letters. Overjoyed, she opened them both at once and found one dated in midsummer and the other much later. She read the earliest first, learning of the battle of San Sebastian and Blackwood’s pride in his men, particularly Sergeant Major Higgens. In his words she experienced the deep affection and admiration he felt for the older man. Again the letter was full of the small details of his days: how the men hated the use of case shot and how he missed Kendall, who had been promoted to his own regiment. He closed with loving words and a whimsical inquiry into the wellbeing of their plantings.
She determined to press a chrysanthemum bloom this very night and enclose it in her next letter, along with the pages of her journal.
As long as it had taken the one letter to arrive, the other must have come through with the dispatches, for it was dated only a few weeks before.
My dear Serena, Long has written you have taken up the reins at Avalon Landing, making sweeping changes. Sweetheart, I’m happy you love the Landing as I do, but don’t concern yourself with duties more suited to Mr. Stockton. By all means decorate as you please, for it’s your home and I wish you to be content there. But the responsibilities of the estate are too heavy for my sweet Serena. She should be happily engaged in pursuits which will keep the beautiful smile on her cherry lips. Thoughts of you ease this time of heavy fighting for our cause. Sergeant Major Higgens is my right arm and also my friend. I look forward to the two of you meeting. He is an older, larger version of Jeffries and often treats me with the same wry wit, but never in front of the men. He is of all things the best of our fine fighting men. Often I dream of our hours together, sweetheart. Every night I go to sleep to the vision of you on our final morning. I live to awaken you with a kiss that wipes out this long separation and all will again be as it was. Never change, Serena, for you are perfection. Yours forever,
Blackwood
Unbidden, tears trickled down her face. A deep, swelling pain burst to life in her chest, bringing a terrible realization. While she was adding weight and strength and substance to the glittering, shallow image of Blackwood, seeing him as he truly was beyond the handsome face and dashingly broad shoulders which had first attracted her, he still only saw her as the embodiment of his dreams.
Although surely he was still that to her, even more so, now she recognized his true worth. It wasn’t that thoughts of him didn’t still make her breathless and a trifle giddy; on the contrary, the yearning grew stronger each day for his return.
With sickening dread the thought came to her Longford might be correct: Blackwood saw people as he wished them to be, not as they truly were. Perhaps he would not feel the same about her when he must live with her day after day. She could not then continue to be only a romantic dream. She would become a real person with human frailties.
Totally rejecting such thoughts, she rushed to the conservatory and snipped a blossom. While it pressed between heavy volumes, she penned a letter to Blackwood. She refused to admit she wrote it exactly as she would have done months ago and that there was no longer any thought of enclosing the journal pages. She placed the pressed crimson petals between the sheets and folded them over carefully, lifting them for a fleeting moment to her lips.
True love surely would conquer all. If indeed what Blackwood felt for her was as real as what she now felt for him.
Society
1814
Serena received Blackwood’s Christmas letter in late January at Avalon Hall, where the entire family plus Aunt Lavinia and her cousin Frederick were snowed in. Tempers were slightly on edge from their forced confinement, especially Cecily, who was having to gently fob off Frederick’s adoration. Longford, who was deprived of riding his wild stallion on a daily basis, had little to do with the assemblage, preferring to spend most of his time with his father in the study. The letter’s arrival was a welcome diversion, so, as was her habit, Serena shared most of it. She read Blackwood’s regards to all the family, his glorious reports of his men’s bravery, and of course, the mention of Kendall for a rapt Cecily.