“You’re killing me right now. I hate seeing you this upset. I’m trying, Catherine. I’m still new to this boyfriend thing. Listen, I didn’t want to be away from you. You have to know that. But I’m here now, and we’re together. That’s what matters.” He kissed me, his lips gentle and apologetic.
He was being sincere. I heard the regret in his voice. But sincerity, no matter how heartfelt, didn’t change the fact that he’d done the very thing he’d said he wouldn’t do. It didn’t change that he frustrated me to no end. I pulled away, and I couldn’t help myself. I couldn’t stop myself from asking, “Was Anya with you? She’s part of your team, right?”
He stiffened, his head jerking up and his eyes hardening slightly. “Anya was there. So were George, Anthony, and a few other security personnel.”
I’d assumed the security detail had been with him, but hearing him say it made chills run down my spine. He’d needed that much security? That much protection? From what? And how was Anya protecting him? “I’m sure sexy Anya made the cold Yukon nights a little less frigid.”
William tilted his head, wary. “What do you mean?”
“I saw the picture in the library. You two go way back, don’t you?”
“We do. I met Anya in Alaska when I was nineteen. She’s been a good friend to me.”
Alaska. I’d had no idea. That must have been a particularly vulnerable time in his life. He’d reopened the investigation into his parents’ plane crash, putting off a year of college to do so. “Is that all she is?”
“That’s all she is now.” His tone was careful.
I reeled back. She was a former lover. I knew it. But I wasn’t prepared for the stab that went through my heart at that revelation.
“Do you really want to talk about this? Trust me, it doesn’t matter now, Catherine. It was a long time ago.” His voice was cold and unwavering.
“Well, I’d like to know.”
He crossed his arms over his chest. “Fine, but be prepared to answer my questions as well.” His eyes were icy blue, the color I thought of as his take-no-prisoners-business negotiation eyes. “Like who were you having coffee with in St. Helena, and who drove you to the airport?”
Shit. I’d known this was coming. But I’d started it, and I wasn’t going to back down. “You got it. You first.”
“Ask away.” He gave me a curt nod.
I took a shaky breath. “Have you slept with her?”
“Yes.” No hesitation. That knife in my chest twisted. For whatever reason, I was prepared to twist it more.
“Did you love her?”
“I thought I did at the time. It was as serious as a first real love affair can be, but I was nineteen.” William raised a brow in challenge.
“Was she your college girlfriend or something?”
He let out a low chuckle, and I hated that he did that. “Not exactly. Anya’s a few years older than me, and we didn’t go to college together.”
“How much older?” I wanted to know everything, no matter how painful it might be.
“She’s twelve years older. I was nineteen, she was thirty-one.”
I didn’t quite know what to say. I was almost embarrassed by the disclosure. I hadn’t thought she was that much older. She’d aged well. But more importantly, even if Anya wasn’t William’s first, I’d bet money she was definitely the woman who had tutored him sexually. “Couldn’t you find someone your own age?” I had no idea where that had come from. It was a dumb thing to say. I was beginning to regret starting this conversation, and I dreaded William’s answer.
“Age had nothing to do with it. I’ve always had exceptional taste in women. Anya was a wonderful teacher.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat and told myself to breathe.
“I told you, don’t read anything into it.” He wasn’t embarrassed at all—not about being involved with a woman twelve years his senior when he was barely even legal. Not about having her with him while I was stuck back in California. “Anya’s family is a player in the Alaskan oil and gas industry. Her father was invaluable to me when I reopened the investigation, and I’ve invested in some of his companies in recent years. Anya works for her father. She’s the executive vice president of global logistics and splits her time between Fairbanks and Vancouver. She travels all over the world for work and I rarely see her. And she’s married and has three kids. We’re friends. Nothing more.”
If I had thought this conversation would make me feel better, I was way off base. I felt shittier than ever now. William, not surprisingly, had outplayed me. He’d revealed something he clearly didn’t mind discussing, and now I would have to do the same. Except I did mind discussing Jeremy. I was cornered.