Beckett watched one of the late night shows while I stroked Laird’s back. Pretty soon my eyes were closing, and Beckett turned off the TV, and we both dozed off. I loved my best friend, but I really missed William.
***
I woke up to a winter wonderland. Beckett was never an early riser, so I quietly got out of bed, fed Laird, and then stared out my front window at the snow covering everything. I’d seen snow before, but this was my first big snowstorm in Chicago. I couldn’t believe how the white extended as far as I could see. The snow sparkled in the early morning light, as yet untouched and pure, and I found myself completely enchanted.
Thank God I’d left when I did or I would have been stuck in California. I was glad to be home even if I felt a hollowness where William should have been.
William. I found my phone, pulled it out, and turned it on. Five texts and three voicemails from William. I read and listened, glad Beckett was still asleep so he couldn’t see me crying again.
Catherine, where are you? I need you.
That was the text that broke my heart. His voicemails were brief. “Catherine, I’m worried about you. Are you okay? Darius said you left with an unidentified man. Are you okay? Just call me. Please.”
Catherine, I can’t believe you left without any word. Are you okay???
We needed to talk. That much was obvious, but I didn’t want to talk right now. I wanted to think a bit more about my next move. Plus, it was really early in California. Still, I knew what it was like to worry, so I texted back, I’m home. I’m fine, and I’ll call you later.”
I’d barely hit send when my phone buzzed. It was William. I wanted to roll my eyes. So now he couldn’t wait to talk to me. I thought about not answering, but I was never the sort to play games. “Good morning, William.”
“Catherine.” I could hear concern and frustration in his voice. “You’re okay?”
“I’m fine. And I’m home.”
“I’m relieved to hear that.” There was a long pause and I could hear him breathing into the phone. “You scared me.”
“I understand. Really, I do. And I’m sorry, but you scared me too.”
“Catherine—”
“No, listen. Two days, William. Two days without hearing from you—not a text, an email, a message in a bottle. Nothing. How was I supposed to tell you I was leaving? You just disappeared.”
“I didn’t disappear. And you were at my home, and you were safe.”
“Safe from what?” I interrupted him.
He ignored me. “I knew where you were and that you were being looked after. That’s what I wanted. That’s what I needed.”
“I was being looked after? Like some sort of dog?”
“That’s not what I meant.”
I stood and began to pace. “I don’t need to be looked after. I need to be treated like someone you value. You completely shut me out and cut me off. I thought we talked about this. You said you’d change.”
“How was I supposed to know I’d be called away from Napa? I had to go.”
“Why?”
Silence.
“See, you’re still doing it.”
“Catherine.” He sounded incredibly frustrated. I could imagine his fists clenched and his eyes icy blue. “I did what I thought was best. I didn’t leave you alone. You were safe. You only needed to wait a little longer.”
“No, William. No, I didn’t need to wait. And you don’t get it. It wasn’t okay to leave me like that. It isn’t okay to just drop off the face of the earth with no explanation. That’s not what boyfriends do. Correction: that’s not what my boyfriend does.”
“What are you saying?” His voice was dark.
“I think…” My throat was suddenly dry. We’d just gotten back together, and all I wanted was to be with him. But I knew what I had to say. “We need some time apart.”
“No.”
“I’m not saying we break up. We just slow things down.”
“No.”
I ignored him. “This isn’t easy for me to say. We just got back together, and I…I really want to be with you. But I think a break will do us good. We can both get our heads on straight.”
“No. Absolutely not. I have no interest in taking a break—or whatever the hell you want to call it.”
“I don’t think you get to choose.”
“The hell I don’t. I’m on my way home and I want to see you ASAP.”
“There’s a blizzard, William. Even you can’t fly in a blizzard.”
“I’m on the jet now. We’ve been diverted to Omaha, but as soon as we get clearance, we’re heading back. I’ll see you tonight.”