A Sip of You(40)

She’d hated me, and our relationship didn’t improve even when Jace and I got married. I was his wife, but she still thought I was just a phase Jace was going through.

I remembered when the Ryders came to San Diego for Jace’s first tour outing at Trestles. I’d just been his girlfriend then, so it was pretty easy for them to be civil but basically ignore me—not that Carolyn Ryder ever treated me civilly, and she always did her best to ignore me, even after I was her daughter-in-law.

“Oh my God, remember when your dad gave Jace that shark tooth necklace at Trestles?” I hadn’t thought about that necklace until just now. Jace had been so nervous and he really wanted to make his parents proud. They ignored me, but Jeremy hung out with me. We’d both been there when Mr. Ryder gave Jace the hokey necklace.

“Jace loved that necklace,” Jeremy said.

“Yeah, I know. He wore it in just about every competition. He thought it brought him luck.” And maybe it had. But it was too bad Jace’s parents couldn’t have given him more than a cheap necklace. They’d left that day before his first ride to catch a flight back to San Francisco. They didn’t even say goodbye. Their departure had hurt him, but I remembered Jace fingering that jagged little piece of bone dangling from its black leather cord, his dad’s small gift easing some of their rejection. They never came to another of his pro events.

I couldn’t believe that after all this time, I’d never thought about that necklace, not once. I had no idea what had happened to it. Did he have it in Hawaii? Was he wearing it at that last party on the beach? Was he wearing it when that red pick-up truck had crashed into us just a few hours later? I didn’t know. How could I not know?

“He was so good,” Jeremy said almost wistfully, snapping me back to our conversation. His eyes were on the road, but I could see his thoughts were years in the past. Mine were too. “I knew he was good, but he amazed even me.”

Once Jace realized his parents weren’t going to support him unless he followed their dictates for his life, he just pushed harder for what he wanted. And part of what he’d wanted was me. We got married as soon as I graduated. I knew his parents weren’t going to like it, and truthfully, mine weren’t thrilled when they heard about it, either. But my mom and dad came to accept it and us. But not Jace’s mother. She had been a vocal opponent of our marriage, and she was pretty nasty about it. At one point she’d even accused me of getting pregnant to snare Jace. I didn’t know if Jeremy ever knew about that, and I wasn’t going to bring it up to him now. I’d never forget Mrs. Ryder suggesting there were other ways to deal with a pregnancy besides marriage. But I hadn’t been pregnant, just in love.

“Your parents were pretty cool about you guys getting married, right?” Jeremy asked, almost reading my thoughts.

I shrugged. Compared to the Ryders, my parents were saints. It was getting harder for me to talk about this, but I managed an answer. “They were concerned. They thought I was too young, too impulsive. But they came around.”

“You and Jace impulsive? I knew the first time I saw the two of you together he’d found The One. I was surprised you waited until after you graduated.”

“Jace wanted me to finish.” But I thought about what Jeremy said, and now that I was older, I realized my parents might have been more supportive if I’d let them in a little. They never really knew Jace or how I felt about him—how we felt about each other. Jace and I had our own private space. It was always just the two of us. Jace and Cat against the world. We had each other, and that was all we needed and all we wanted.

Of course, it hadn’t lasted.

We were almost in San Francisco when I realized we’d been quiet for quite a while. I was lost in my thoughts, trying to put the pain and grief that had bubbled to the surface back into their little compartments. I glanced at Jeremy, still struck by how much he resembled Jace, and how surreal this whole encounter had been. It was as though parts of Jace were right beside me, and it made me miss him so much more. I’d made my peace with that part of my life—well, with most of it anyway—but I wasn’t certain I could stare it in the face, remembering what I’d had and lost, for much longer.

The car slowed and stopped, and I blinked and stared at the airport terminal.

“Here you go,” Jeremy said. “Service from Napa to San Francisco.”

“Thanks, Jeremy. I really appreciate it.” I gathered my bags and reached for the door. I stepped out and turned to tell Jeremy goodbye, but he wasn’t in the driver’s seat. He’d gotten out and was right beside me.