Tarkus correctly recognized my words as a dismissal, and left me standing alone in the pavilion.
My torture felt complete.
A small voice in the back of my mind considered the possibility of not marrying Hazel at all. Perhaps, if it were enough, she would be willing to stay with me anyway…I dismissed the idea immediately. I was a king. I hoped to be an emperor. It would be impossible. My people and the other kingdoms already doubted me—already questioned my relationship with Hazel. To keep her on as some sort of mistress would be abhorrent.
Another option would be to tell her. To give her the choice—let her know that if she wanted to be with me, it would come at a cost. A great cost. I thought of her dislike of Nevertide—the constant fear and uncertainty she’d faced since she’d arrived, how the sentries she’d met had either put her life in danger or toyed with her for their own purposes, like me. How could I possibly ask her to become one of them? She had a different destiny waiting, didn’t she? Her family were supernatural vampires. Surely she would want to join their race—leave her human life behind for immortality.
I turned my head to watch her from the pavilion. She was observing the bird, tentatively reaching out to stroke the soft feathers on its forehead.
Could she adapt to this life?
In my heart, I doubted it—perhaps knew that she couldn’t.
What I could offer her in return was so little: the grey skies and castle of Hellswan, a kingdom that literally hated my name, and my own unpracticed, possessive version of love. It wasn’t enough. Not for what she would have to give up in return.
I thought again of what Tarkus had said. That it was only one part of the ceremony that caused the transformation, in theory. As emperor, would I dare to change the ceremony, to remove the ritual and declare us legally married?
If Hazel was willing—willing and clear as to what little I could offer her—perhaps I could.
I gazed around at the crumbling, ivy-infested stone of the pavilion; the center of Nevertide looked as old and tired as I felt. All my life I had hoped to rule this land. And now the stakes were even higher.
Ruby
I’d sat in our appointed room for most of the day. I’d tried to venture out a few times, but only ended up getting lost and luckily bumping into a sentry who could direct me. The nymph from last night hadn’t made a reappearance either. I was quite glad about that; I’d tried to tell Ash last night about my second sighting, but he’d just shrugged it off, leaving me feeling frustrated and utterly alone.
For the first time since I met Ash, I had really started to feel the sentry-and-human divide. It was as if Queen Trina’s attentions had lessened his anger toward Nevertide politics and royalty, but that anger toward the status quo had always been one of the things that had made him seem more human to me.
This morning he had left early, claiming that he needed to accompany Queen Trina to a meeting about the imperial trials. He’d left in such a hurry he hadn’t even bothered to tell me where it was, or how long he would be gone.
I desperately wanted to get out of this castle. But at the same time I didn’t want to leave Ash behind.
Good luck with that.
It was obvious that he was in his element here. As much as I didn’t like it—and didn’t trust Queen Trina—it kind of felt like Ash was here to stay. I didn’t know where that left us.
I heard a fumbling at the door to the room. I was about to ask who it was when Ash peered around the door with a broad smile on his face.
“Hey, shortie. Thought I’d find you in the gardens.”
“I kept getting lost.” I smiled sheepishly back. “This place is worse than Hellswan.”
“Trust me – it’s really not,” Ash replied.
“You know what I mean,” I replied, trying to sound light-hearted. Ash’s obvious good mood made me feel even more rejected. Did he no longer care about the plans we’d made to leave Nevertide together? That had been a couple of days ago, and already things seemed different.
“I saw Hazel,” Ash said. “She sends her love. But Benedict is missing…again. I’m sure they’ll find him, and Julian eventually. I don’t blame them for wanting to get out of that place.”
“Did he not come home the night of the rain?” I asked, my body tensing.
“I don’t know—there wasn’t time for details. But she and Tejus were going out to look for him. I’m sure he’s fine.”
I nodded, but my decision was made.
“Ash, I need to leave. Like, now.”
He slumped back against the wall dejectedly, scratching his forehead.
“I knew you’d say that,” he muttered.