“I’m just… tired, Rhys. It’s been a difficult few days.”
He crossed his arms over his chest and stared down at me.
I groaned internally. He was going to take out his frustration on me. I knew Rhys better than he knew himself sometimes.
Even though he seemed to believe that he was above experiencing emotions, he wasn’t. They just built up and manifested themselves in different ways. And I was normally the one to bear the brunt of his mood swings.
I stood up.
“You’re right,” I muttered. “I don’t share the same enthusiasm as you for these rituals.”
“I’ve warned you before. If you don’t align yourself with the will of our Ancients as the rest of us do, sooner or later you’ll fall into trouble again. And this time, I won’t be able to make any more exceptions for you.” He walked over to me and gripped my shoulders. “Don’t you trust me? Is that what this is? After all we’ve been through together, you still can’t surrender?”
I stared into his intense black eyes. It felt like I already had lost myself to him.
“You know that I can make you as powerful as me. I can make you a Channeler,” he breathed, his mouth inches away from my ear. “Remember what I’ve always told you, Mona. With surrender comes freedom. If you’d just let me show you…”
He let go of me and stormed out. The room shook as he slammed the door shut behind him.
But his last words echoed around in my head long after he’d left our apartment.
“With surrender comes freedom.”
Maybe that’s what I have to do.
Maybe the only way out of this darkness is to first plunge myself further into it.
Maybe I have to be lost in order to be found.
Chapter 10: Kiev
“I’m sorry I doubted you about those humans.” Helina sat perched on the edge of her bed.
Erik was leaning against the edge of the small table in the corner of her bedroom, while I was seated in a chair in the corner of the room.
“I was just so fearful,” she continued. “We can’t lose you again, Kiev.”
I stared at my siblings. It still felt strange to be in their presence. Although they were so familiar to me, they were also like strangers.
I got up and walked over to Helina, planting a kiss on her forehead. I wanted to promise her that she wouldn’t lose me again. After everything they’d been through without me, I owed them that much. But I couldn’t. Just as I wasn’t able to promise Mona that anything would work out between us. Because I didn’t know. Especially now.
“I suppose you understand now why it’s not a good idea to mess with Rhys,” Erik said dryly.
I remained silent.
“There’s something else I should have mentioned earlier,” Erik continued. “Around the back of this building is a trapdoor. None of us are supposed to even know it exists, but I caught Julisse coming out of it one day. Anyway, it’s an underground chamber. The witches’ spell room. Never go in there, no matter what.”
I raised a brow.
“Once a vampire goes in there, he doesn’t come out. Only witches are allowed in a spell room. If any other creature goes in there, the power of the room diminishes. All these years of building up the room’s potency, gone for nothing. The only way to prevent this waste is to sacrifice the person who’s stepped inside.”
“Sacrifice?”
Erik nodded grimly. “I don’t know what they’d do because we’ve never witnessed it. But just… stay away from that damn room, will you?”
“Promise, Kiev,” Helina said, tugging on my arm.
“All right. I’ll stay away.”
We all fell silent. The image of Tiarni burning alive at the stake was still fresh in our minds. Erik heaved a sigh and sat down in a chair.
“I’m sorry, Kiev,” he muttered.
“What?”
“I’m sorry that you’re in this situation because of us. I know it’s far from ideal.”
His words surprised me.
“What situation?”
“Being here… on this island. Bound to serve the witches.”
“Why would you apologize? I thought you were just telling me recently how great life here is, you two being Lord and Lady of this place.”
His shoulders sagged and he rested his forehead in his hand.
“You know it’s not,” Helina said quietly. “I guess believing that life is better here helps us cope.”
“Well, if there’s anything you should be sorry for,” I said, my voice rising, “it’s chasing away Matteo and making it look like I set him up.”
My blood boiled just recalling what they’d done, the look in Matteo’s eyes as he boarded his ship. I still hadn’t forgiven them for what they’d done. I wasn’t sure that I ever could.