He frowned, then nodded slowly, his red eyes gleaming against the embers in the fireplace.
He stood up. I climbed back to my feet and gripped his shirt, staring up into his eyes desperately.
“What am I?”
His jaw clenched as he tensed beneath my touch.
He gripped my hands and loosened my hold on him, taking a step away from me.
“I don’t know what you are. I don’t think I’ve ever known.” He swallowed hard.
“Please,” I breathed. “Help me.”
His breathing became heavier. His fists clenched.
“You’re the most impossible woman I’ve ever met. Stubborn. Aggravating. Downright insane… Yet you’ve lodged yourself in my brain like no other. And I have no idea why.”
“I loved you?”
He scowled. “You had a strange way of showing it if you did.”
“I loved you,” I repeated. And this time, it wasn’t a question.
He stared at me.
I closed my eyes. How I was sure of such a statement when I had no memories of this man, I didn’t know. But I’d never been more certain of anything in my life.
He stood there speechless. I walked toward him and reached up a hand to touch his face. I brushed my fingers against his stubble, my breath hitching as I relished the feel of him.
When I looked up again, I was staring into emerald green eyes. Several shades brighter than I’d ever seen them before.
At that moment, my heart sang. My chest felt lighter. Hope filled my dark soul. And then came the memories. Flooding back in waves. Filling my clouded mind with the ecstasy, the bright sunshine, that Kiev was to me.
“I remember you now,” I whispered, placing a palm against his chest, over his heart. “You’re my mirror.”
Chapter 30: Kiev
“You’re my mirror.”
Her words rang in my ears.
Her cool palm resting against my heart, I reached up and touched her gently, brushing strands of her hair away from her face so that I could take in the full beauty that she was to me.
“I see myself in you,” she murmured. “I see my darkness. My struggles. My base desires. And I… I think that’s something that no amount of magic can cover up.”
Something Matteo had once told me came to the forefront of my mind.
“Of creatures who inhabit the darkness, there are two types. Those who revel in it, and those who fight to escape it.”
Although sometimes I still had trouble believing it, he had said that I belonged to the latter group, and that was why he had given me a second chance.
Perhaps what Mona is saying is true. Maybe we mirror each other. Maybe she’s also struggling to escape it and that’s why I feel this inexplicable pull toward her. Why, despite all her faults, I can’t get enough of her.
Maybe my search for redemption is shared by her, and she makes me feel like I’m not alone in this dark tunnel with seemingly no end.
I breathed out as realization dawned on me.
As I stared down at Mona’s pale face, all the confusion that had been pent up within me ever since I’d met her began to crumble away.
We’ve both spent our years trying to piece together the scraps of life we’ve been thrown.
And now we have each other, even as we go down together.
At that moment, I wanted nothing more than to hold her. Kiss her. Feel her. Lose myself in her.
My need for her consumed me as I pulled her flush against me and pressed my mouth against any part of her I could reach. Her chest, neck, cheeks, lips. I groaned as I breathed in her scent. She placed her hands either side of my face. Her tears wet my cheeks as she kissed me hungrily. She crushed herself against me, her arms tightening around my neck as though she was drowning. And I was her life raft, even if I sank with her.
When we finally detached ourselves from each other, the reality of our situation flooded back.
I still didn’t know why exactly Mona had tried to erase her memories of me, but nothing had changed about our situation. She still belonged to Rhys…
She drew in a sharp breath, gripping my hands.
“I have the power to break free from Rhys now,” she said.
“What?”
“I was granted the same powers as him, the powers of a Channeler. He no longer has the same strength over me he did before. I… I can break free from him.” She spoke slowly, as though the concept of freedom was only just sinking in.
“Break free from him? And go where?”
“Anywhere. Far away from here. I can free you too. And your siblings, if they want to come.” She paused, her eyes widening. “But we have to be quick.”
Her words sent my head spinning.
I looked over at Anna, whose presence I’d forgotten until now. Shock and anxiety was written on her face as she watched Mona and I.