A Shade of Kiev 2(41)

“Yes, vampire. Me. And I need to talk to you.”

“What’s wrong? Don’t like that I can play this game better than you?”

“Shut up, Kiev. Please. I don’t have much time—”

“Of course not. I’m sure your lover boy is already wondering where you are.”

“This isn’t a game!” I hissed.

He seemed to notice the urgency in my voice and fell silent. I cast another worried look around us. This place seemed too open. We needed somewhere more enclosed. I grabbed his cold hand and pulled him into the shadows of the woods. I kept leading him forward until I felt comfortable that we were a safe distance from the castle and any open areas surrounding us.

It was quiet now. The only sounds that could be heard were the whistling of the wind in the trees and the occasional chirping of a bird.

I let go of his hand and looked up at him.

“I need to tell you why I left,” I said, taking a deep breath. “The real reason. I don’t think I can live with myself any more until I have told you the truth.”

I owe you that much, at least.

He leaned his head against a tree and looked at me, intensely, as though he was hanging onto my every word.

“I may be here now because of Rhys. But I didn’t leave… I didn’t leave the island for Rhys.”

What I was about to say, before I caught myself, was: I didn’t leave you for Rhys.

He frowned. I paused, preparing myself to utter the words I’d never spoken to anyone before. It was all I could do to not break down right then and there.

“I’m cursed, Kiev.” I exhaled sharply as I said the words. “I’m cursed by two strokes. Two heavy, bloody strokes.”

I wrapped my hand around a tree branch for support. I felt like I was grasping for any bit of grounding at that moment.

“A binding spell and an unbreakable oath have their hands wrapped around my soul. It’s a long, long story, but right now you just need to understand the basics of what it means: I was cursed when I was younger to be bound to Rhys. I can’t ever be with anyone else. And if I do leave him, everyone I come to care about will die.”

Kiev stared at me, barely blinking.

“Now that I’m back with him, I’m hoping that the curse will no longer act. My magic has also been restored to me. But the moment I leave him, the curse will act again. And more people will die.”

I paused and looked into his crimson eyes.

“And why exactly do you feel the need to tell me this?” he asked, still careful to keep his face expressionless.

The way he asked it was more of a challenge than a question.

I blushed.

“Was I someone you cared about?” he asked.

I averted my eyes to the ground and, biting my lip, I nodded.

“You might have been,” I whispered.

“Am I someone you care about?”

“You might be,” I breathed.

There was an awkward pause as I continued staring at the ground. I couldn’t bear to look up at him and witness his reaction.

Finally, I managed to clear my throat and compose myself enough to look him in the eye again. “I… I just wanted to leave things cordially with you, all right? I want you to stop feeling bitter toward me.”

He nodded slowly.

“I see.”

“I need to leave now,” I said, and turned to walk away.

“So you’re not interested in how I got here?”

I paused mid-step, wincing.

I was burning to know how he got here. I was burning to know whether he had betrayed Matteo and Saira by joining these vampires. I was burning to know why his eyes had reverted to red.

But I had to leave. Staying any longer alone there with him would just make things more painful.

I’ve done what I came here to do.

Now, I must let go.

Though it cut me deep, I turned around to him and said, “I can’t, Kiev.”

Before he could say another word, I made myself vanish.





Chapter 26: Kiev





I found myself staring at the spot she had been standing in long after she’d disappeared. I was still processing her words.

But the words that came to the forefront of my mind, the words that still rang in my ears, were:

“You might be.”

I stood still in the forest, trying to make sense of what I was feeling. Although I still felt in the dark about certain details, I now knew the cause of her departure. I knew why she’d repelled me for apparently no reason. I knew why she tried to keep her distance from me. So much light had been shed on things I’d been in the dark about for so long.

So why didn’t I feel even a semblance of satisfaction? Or of peace?

Why did such a heavy feeling of disappointment envelop me?

None of it made any sense.

Later, once night had fallen, I sat in the cave, round the sacrificial stone, and made sure to position myself opposite Mona.