But the cold hands only slithered around my neck and down my back, embracing me into an ice-cold hug that left me shivering.
Nell
“You’re alive,” he breathed against my ear. I shuddered as his arms slid away from me. He lingered uncomfortably close. “I don’t care that you ran away, I don’t care that you took the astrolabe… I’m just glad you’re still alive.”
I smiled weakly up at Lethe, his features handsome in the torchlight. “I had to go,” I blurted. Dishonesty had never been my strong suit, even when it was necessary. “I knew what you were planning for the fire people. I couldn’t let that happen.”
Lethe’s eyes hardened. “What my father was planning,” he corrected me. “What my father was planning.”
“Lethe. Let’s not pretend that your father’s intentions are not yours as well.”
“Nell.” He grazed my cheekbone with icy fingertips. “Do you know me at all? My father… He’s a madman. I know that. My mother certainly knew that. Even he knows that, though he certainly had to consult a litany of doctors before he would accept it,” Lethe spat. “It was a madness which carried him through the brutality and unpredictability of an insurgency well enough—the kind of political maneuvering where insanity is perhaps a benefit. But it cannot hold throughout peacetime, when concerns become more practical, when solutions must have long-term viability. And even he knows that. The only people who do not know, and who must never know, are the citizens of his kingdom.”
“Don’t you mean your kingdom?”
Lethe grimaced. “That is what I meant, yes.”
And are the ice dragon people not a mad race? I wondered silently.
“And you will not allow him to rule you from behind the throne?” I whispered.
“No. I will not.”
My heart lightened for the first time since Parnassia had agreed to bring me back. “You can let me go,” I said.
Lethe returned my gaze, his own dark with heartbreak. “You must know that I cannot do that,” he said.
“Then your promises are lies,” I hissed.
He winced. “I cannot appear so weak in the first moon of my leadership,” he said. “You must give me time. Do you think that I want you here? I don’t!”
“Then set me free. It is so simple! You have the power to undo all of this!” I shook my chains.
Lethe’s hands traveled to my wrists, stilling them, tracing the abrasion of the shackles as he once had before. “It is not so simple. You don’t understand what it’s like to be under the watchful eye of an entire court. If they perceive me as weak, I will be the one undone, Penelope, not your shackles. If anything… you will be killed, should they suspect that you are motivating my edicts. And I will be dethroned—or beheaded—by some hopeful official.”
“I could be killed against your wishes? Under the command of some… ‘official’?”
Lethe nodded grimly. “Oh, yes. It would be staged as an accident; perhaps they would even frame a fire dragon in the dungeon cells beyond. But I have no doubt that it would be perpetrated by a vengeful member of the court, one with their heart set on my throne, one who has seen that you remain my weakness. They want me to be strong, but only by their standards. And no ice king is ever encouraged to fall in love.”
My eyes softened as I watched him. After everything I had done, the levels of betrayal, he still loved me. And he was a good man. He didn’t deserve to be wed to someone like Michelle, someone whose sole motivations were boredom and greed. It wasn’t his fault that he couldn’t perceive just how manipulative she was. In all likelihood, Vulott liked her more than Lethe did.
“You should not love me, Lethe,” I whispered. I worried that if I did not express my boundaries to him soon enough, he would kiss me—and I could not justify such play-acting again, even in the name of freedom. Not now that I was a wife. “I’m married.”
At this, Lethe’s fingertips left my wrists and he took a step away. His jaw had become stiff and his eyes raged. “You married him?” he hissed. “You forged off into the night with stolen equipment—”
“Well, stolen by the ice dragons,” I interjected.
“—and up and married him? Just like that? After everything?”
I pursed my lips and refused to avert my eyes. “I know that in your culture, emotional experiences are… purposefully limited. But that is not true of my people—of humans. We welcome emotional interaction with one another. My husband and I… we have known each other longer than you and me. We have had more experiences, and deeper experiences, and… to you, yes, you and I shared a bond that could not be broken. And we do share a bond—I care about you very much—but, Lethe, you have to understand—that whole time I was here—”