Words Ben spoke to me while we were still here at The Shade haunted me. Don’t be a fool, Sofia. We need to get out of here before he decides that he’s tired of you and kills us both.
My insecurities began to resurface. Who do I think I am?
The thought of Derek one day realizing that he didn’t need me gnawed at me even as I made my way to the Cells. The deal I struck with Derek weighed heavily on me.
I stepped into Ashley’s cell to find her sitting over the edge of her cot, looking absolutely distraught. She raised her eyes to me, probably expecting Paige, Rosa or one of the guards. Her face fell when she saw me.
“Oh. It’s you.”
My stomach turned. Since my arrival, the girls had been giving me a cold shoulder. Even Sam and Kyle were, at best, being polite to me. I couldn’t blame them really. We were friends and I left them at The Shade without even saying goodbye to them. To top that, I didn’t do a thing to help them out while I was outside The Shade. We’d planned an escape together so many times, with promises that once one of us actually got out, we would expose The Shade to the world in order to rescue the others. I didn’t do that. Even above all of that, upon my return, I walked in on Derek with a barely conscious Ashley on his bed and still, I managed to forgive him. That last part, I believe, was what they saw as the ultimate betrayal.
They definitely had good reason to hate me. That explained the heavy feeling I had upon approaching Ashley. The last time I visited her, she wasn’t very accommodating of me – especially when she found out that I was once again staying with Derek.#p#分页标题#e#
“How can you stand being around him?” she asked me.
I didn’t know how to answer. I couldn’t fully understand the hold Derek had on me myself, but it felt like a pathetic thing to say when I replied, “I see him differently, Ashley. There’s hope for him yet. I don’t want to give up on him.”
After that, Ashley asked me to leave.
Truth be told, I wasn’t happy about the setup of me still being seen around The Shade as Derek’s slave. I didn’t return to The Shade to become a slave, but Derek made it clear to me that it was the only way. After Derek went through painstaking lengths to keep my escape a secret from everyone other than a few select people, most of the vampires didn’t even know that I had been gone from The Shade.
“The only way I can protect you, Sofia, is to keep you under my wing. They won’t touch you if they know you’re mine. On your own, all you are is fresh bait,” he told me, and as much as I was protesting against it, I knew that in the culture of The Shade, the only way I could be safe was under his care.
I tried to explain that to Paige and Rosa. I tried to explain to them why I couldn’t give away information about The Shade after our escape, but my words were empty in light of the trauma Derek put them through while I was gone. In their eyes, I was siding with the enemy. From my perspective, I couldn’t help but wish they’d remember everything Derek did to protect us before everything went south.
Entering Ashley’s cell a second time, I realized that I didn’t have many girl friends growing up. Everything had always revolved around Ben and the Hudsons. Even as a child, I preferred to be alone and go on my crazy adventures rather than stay with girls my age. They bored me to death. That’s why I valued the girls so much, and now that they had this big grudge on me, I realized how much I missed them.
“Hi, Ashley…” I tentatively approached her. I crossed my fingers, hoping that she would cooperate.
“What are you doing here, Sofia?”
I sat beside her on the cot. She inched away from me. “How’ve you been?” I started. Suddenly, my throat felt dry and I had no idea what to tell her. “Have they been treating you well?”
She scoffed. “As well as they could a prisoner I guess. How long am I going to stay here?” Her lips quivered, her form trembling. “When is this trial even going to be? The anticipation is killing me…”
“I don’t think there’s going to be a trial…”
“What? Why?”
“Derek’s offered a deal. He’s willing to release you.”
“Oh yeah? In exchange for what?”
“Information.”
Ashley’s eyes widened. “I can’t believe you, Sofia. You come here as his lackey, trying to pry information from me? After what he did? Sofia, what ever happened to us looking after each other, huh?”
“That’s why I came here, Ashley. To look out for you. Would you prefer that he come instead? Knowing how much he craves you?”