A Shade Of Blood(48)

“Who cares? We both look incredible.”
“I’ll never get used to how modest you are, Ben.”
“People who look like me have no need of modesty.” I opened the picnic basket and brought out the candles, spreading them along the edge of the truck. I tossed her the matches. “Light them up, beautiful.”
By the time she was done lighting the candles, I had already taken out the champagne, the bowl of strawberries and the melted chocolate. She started giggling about something.
When I gave her a questioning look, she explained, “Look at all these candles. I’m just wondering when fire hazards like this started to become romantic.”
“So you find this romantic?” I raised a brow at her.
“Yeah, but don’t let that go to your head. I’m pretty easy to please.”
“Easy? You think it was easy to set all this up? Do you have any idea how difficult it was to put this together and keep it secret from you and mom?”
The delight on her face faded at the mention of my mother.
“Sofia, you do understand why we can’t tell my mom yet, right? I don’t think we’re ready to deal with all the drama that it would cause, and…”
“Yeah, I understand, Ben,” she cut me off. “Don’t worry about it.”
I opened up the champagne and we drank and ate dessert. We then eased into a comfortable silence, our focus being the view.
When she finally broke the silence, I wish she hadn’t.
“I’ve been meaning to ask you a question, Ben…”
I could immediately sense her hesitation.
“While you were setting up the food, I tapped you on the back to get your attention. You didn’t respond. That’s happened so many times already. When you got beat up, I kept on accidentally brushing my hand or arm or whatever against your bruises and against your gash and you never once flinched…” Her voice was laced with concern that made me ache. “Why is that?”
I didn’t want to talk about it, didn’t want to admit to it, but it was out there. “I think Claudia messed up my nervous system or something… I’m not sure what she did. All I know is that my sense of touch has been dulled.”
“Ben… I…”
I didn’t want her pity. I’d had enough of feeling sorry for myself. “It’s why I want to join the hunters, Sofia. I don’t want to go through life pretending that I can go back to normal. Claudia took that away from me.”
Her silence was enough of an answer. I doubted anything I could say would convince her that she ought to join the hunters. One mention of Claudia was enough to ruin my mood. My using my story as leverage to convince Sofia to join the hunters was enough to ruin hers.
“Let’s get out of here.” I suggested. “I have one surprise left.”
“Let’s.” She agreed.
We drove back to the city. I had hotel reservations. Without Sofia’s knowledge, I already told my parents that we were going to go to a big slumber party with our friends, so they weren’t expecting us home that night.
I didn’t know what I was expecting. Perhaps it was a desperate attempt to assure myself that she was mine. I thought that maybe if we slept together, it would be harder for her to leave me.#p#分页标题#e#
The moment I opened that hotel room’s door, revealing the rose petals scattered all over the bed and the dim lighting, and I saw the expression on her face, I knew I had made a huge mistake.
She shook her head. “I’m not ready for this, Ben. I’m sorry…” Her voice revealed that she was close to tears. Her hand was clutching her purse, trembling slightly.
“It’s fine. I understand.” I lied. “We don’t have to do it. It’s enough to be able to spend the night with you.”
I pulled her to my chest and hugged her. We kissed. Still, I couldn’t help but feel like she was slipping out of my grasp.
I spent the night looking at her as she slept. So peaceful. So beautiful. I wondered if her calm countenance would eventually become marred by another nightmare. I wondered what horrors her fitful dreams involved. Was I in them? Was he in them? I wondered if she still thought about him. I wondered if I had somehow ruined what I was trying to build with her with the stupid stunt I tried to pull tonight.
Most of all, I wondered if she would ever truly be mine.

Chapter 27: Sofia
 
The stadium was beginning to fill up with people. A collective sense of excitement could be felt throughout the bleachers. On one side, several of the school’s alumni – former football players themselves – were men being men, screaming and hollering, rooting for their team. The cheerleaders were doing what they did best and pulling off a brand new and rather impressive routine. On the bleachers above us, more than a dozen or so conversations were being exchanged – one of which was Lyle and Amelia’s as they gushed over how wonderful it was that Ben was once again back in the game.