“Bollocks,” Silas said. “You were right there for me. Right there.”
“I tried. And I do know my friends chose their own paths, heaven bless them. I wish I’d seen Ash’s performance: I understand it was remarkably Ashish. As for my office…I came to see that I had it wrong. It was my government that betrayed me, me and every other honest man in their service. I know that now. But in that room, at the time…”
“Aye. Aye, I see that.”
“I had spent the afternoon knowing that you were charged with high treason. You may imagine my feelings when some damned clerk stuck his head through my door to ask why a conspirator was wearing my coat.” He still felt sick thinking of those terrible, frantic hours, scrabbling through paperwork, desperately seeking some kind of proof of Silas’s claims against George Edwards, finding none. Dominic had walked into Richard’s house armed with nothing but memory, deduction, and bluff. “High treason, you seditionist sod. I thought you’d hang. Have you any idea what that felt like, thinking I was going to see you hang?”
“Aye, just a bit of it,” Silas said, and Dominic began to laugh. Couldn’t help it, because Silas’s arms were closing round him now, they were holding each other, and dear heaven, Silas was safe.
Silas’s shoulders were shaking. “I’ll make you laugh on the other side of your face for this. You bugger.”
“Please do,” Dominic said. “Can you do this? Stay here? I’m asking everything of you, I know. And I can’t offer anything to sweeten the deal, because you have everything of me whether you stay here or no, but it really would be easier. And I should so like things to be easier for us. You are all the difficulty I can manage as it is.”
Silas’s hand, paper-dusty as ever, was on Dominic’s neck, making him shiver. “You know that thing of Dr. Johnson’s? When a man knows he is to be hanged in a fortnight, it concentrates his mind wonderfully.”
“Yes?”
“It’s horseshit. I couldn’t think straight. Couldn’t think anything, except I wanted more time with you. I knew that for certain.” His fingers ran through Dominic’s hair. “That, and I wished I hadn’t taken your coat. Sorry.”
“Thank heavens you did, or we would have had no warning of what had happened at all. That said, you ruined it. I’ve had to buy another one. I liked that coat.”
“Aye, well, life is hard. Dom, listen.” Silas pulled back a little to look at him. “I’ve thought about this already. I talked to David—”
“Who?”
“David Cyprian. Interesting cove. He has this way of looking at things, he says you turn round the situation till you find your advantage. So you might say, not many people care about a Ludgate bookseller’s opinions. But if you’re Lord Richard Vane’s bookman, and you’re writing on causes his lordship cares about too, about abolition or education, say, well, you might find more people with power listening.” Silas grimaced. “And you can imagine what I think of that. But you use what you got to hand, right?”
“Quite right,” Dominic said fervently.
“Very bright man, David. Plays a vicious game of backgammon. So what I mean is, this won’t make me useless, unless I let it. Reform can’t be my fight any longer, but like you said, I’ve done my term of service. For what that was worth.”
“Something, perhaps,” Dominic said. “Not now, not yet. But if my party had to sink so low to win a single battle, I wonder about our chances in the war.”
“We’ll see,” Silas said. “And talk. But, for now, doing this…Yes.”
Dominic could feel it as a physical thing—happiness closing over him like warm water, soothing the cuts and burns. “You’re going to stay.”
“Well, this library’s a disgrace. Someone needs to get it sorted out.”
“You’ll stay.” Dominic rested his forehead against Silas’s, felt for his hands. “You’ll stay, and I can come and go as I please. We can see each other as we like. More than just Wednesdays even.” It seemed impossible. He wanted to sit down, except that he never wanted to move from this moment, holding Silas safe.
“Aye, well. Don’t want you underfoot.” Silas’s fingers tightened, denying his words.
“We’ll have to see how that will work. I, uh, have been offered another post.” He coughed. “The Board of Taxes.”
“Taxes? God almighty. You don’t like to be liked, do you?”
“I have to find some way to provoke you.” Dominic pulled Silas close, felt his chest rise and fall, felt his own muscles relaxing in giddy relief. His precious firebrand, warm against him. “But if you’re here, if I know you’re safe, I can rest easy. For the first time in months, I may add. I might actually feel comfortable again.”