“It was tempting.”
Temptation. The word seemed to go hand in hand with Kate’s name.
“I still don’t know what to do, but for now, she’s going to be working for me like always. I don’t have time to find a new assistant, and I sure as hell don’t want to have to get to know someone new. I’ve got enough of a mess to deal with.”
“We do need to figure out what’s going to happen on your birthday.” His mother pursed her lips, as if in deep thought. “Your father would change the law if he could, but the truth is, we never dreamed...”
Luc laughed, the sound void of all humor. “I know. You never thought a child of yours would still be single at thirty-five. It’s okay to say it.”
She squeezed his arm. “We’ll figure something out. We have to.”
Luc nodded, unable to speak past the lump of worry in his throat. Failure was not an option. Ever. He was the next leader, for crying out loud. Why couldn’t he figure out a way around this ridiculous issue?
“I’ll let you get settled back in, then.” His mother reached up, kissed him on the cheek. “Glad you’re back home and safe. And I’m glad you didn’t fire Kate. She means more to this family than you may realize.”
What did that mean? Did his mother actually think he and Kate...
No. That was ridiculous. As torn as he was, he couldn’t entertain the idea that Kate could remain in his life as anything other than his assistant...and even that role was still up in the air. He’d have to worry about that later. At this point, time was against him, and finding another assistant before finding a wife—or before the coronation—was impossible.
Once he was alone again, Luc turned and went to his desk. Bracing his palms on its glossy top, he leaned forward and closed his eyes. He would do a great job ruling this country, as his father had before him. Luc just needed a chance to prove he could do so without a wife.
The echo of soft footsteps hit him and he knew instantly who would be behind him. He didn’t turn, though. He wasn’t quite ready to take in the sight of Kate with all her beauty and sexiness.
The click of the heels stopped, Luc’s heart beat faster than he liked. Damn it, he hadn’t even turned to look at her, hadn’t said a word, yet she had already sent his body into overdrive.
“I’ll come back.”
Her soft words washed over him as he turned to face her.
“No.” He spoke to her retreating back, and she froze in the doorway. “Come in and close the door.”
She stood still so long, he thought for sure she wasn’t going to stay. After a moment, she stepped back, closed the door and whipped around to face him.
Luc hadn’t thought it possible, but he still found her breathtakingly gorgeous and arousing. Seeing Kate in a dark blue suit, with a fitted jacket that hugged her waist and accentuated her breasts, and her snug skirt made it hard for him to form words right now. As her heels clicked across the floor, his eyes were drawn to her open-toed, animal-print pumps. Damn, she looked like a woman who was ready to be stripped and laid out on his desk.
What was worse, now that he’d had her wrapped all around him, he knew exactly how amazing they were together. Why was he paying a penance in all this? He was the victim.
She stopped well out of his reach, clasped her hands in front of her and met his gaze. “I didn’t know you were back,” she said. “I was just coming in to make sure your computer was ready to go when you needed it.”
Luc tore his gaze from her painted red lips and glanced at his desk. He hadn’t even noticed the new computer. Hell, he hadn’t even asked for one. Once again, she stayed on top of things and kept his life running smoothly.
“Where’s my old one?” he asked.
“All of the palace computers have been upgraded, and they put yours in while you were gone. I made sure the security on yours was set up the same as your old one, and I also made sure your old files were transferred. Everything is on there under the same names, just how they always were.”
When he glanced back at her, there wasn’t a hint of any emotion on her face. Not a twinge of a smile, no dark circles under her eyes to indicate she’d been losing sleep. Absolutely nothing.
Which pissed him off even more.
“Is this how it’s going to be?” he asked, gritting his teeth. “With you pretending you didn’t change the dynamics between us?”
Kate blinked, pulled in a deep breath and shook her head. “I don’t know what you want from me. I can’t erase what happened, yet you still want me to work for you, so I’m doing what I can under the circumstances. I can’t tell you what you want to know, because—”
She spun around. Luc waited for her to finish, but she kept her back to him as silence settled heavily between them. There was no easy way, no secret formula for them to get beyond this. He wasn’t all that convinced they could move on, despite what his mother and Mikos had said during their pep talks.
“Because why?” he pressed, when she remained quiet. “Why can’t you tell me your reasons? I’m ready to hear it. I need to hear it, Kate.”
Still nothing. Luc stepped forward, closing the space between them. “Damn it, I deserve more than your silence. You can’t hide like this. You don’t get that right. Tell me what prompted you to not only lie, but keep up the charade and play me so perfectly that you ended up in my bed.”
“Don’t,” she whispered. “Don’t make me say it.”
Luc grabbed her arm, spun her around and forced himself to hold her watery gaze. “I refuse to let you out of this scot-free.”
Squaring her shoulders, tipping her chin up and swiping a hand beneath her eye as one lone tear streaked out, Kate nodded. “Fine. You want to know why I did it? Why I lied to you so easily? Besides the doctor’s orders of not saying anything more, besides the fact that the deception just got out of control, I knew it was the only time in my life you’d ever look at me like you cared for me. Like you actually wanted me. I knew it was wrong. I never justified my actions, and I won’t defend them, because there’s no way to make any of it okay. But don’t make me tell you more. I can’t, Luc.”
Her voice cracked on his name. Luc kept his hand on her arm as he took a half step closer, nearly towering over her. “You can,” he murmured. “Tell me the rest. Now.”
He was so torn between arousal and anger. He’d always heard there was a fine line between hatred and passion. No truer words were ever spoken.
“I fell in love with you,” she whispered, her eyes locking onto his. “Is that what you wanted to hear? Do you hate me so much that humiliating me is the only way to make yourself get past the anger? Well, now you know. I’ve bared my soul to you, Luc. You know about my adoption, which few people do. You know my secret fantasies—you’re the only one in that category—and that I’m in love with a man who’d rather belittle me than ever forgive me, let alone love me back. My fault, I know, but that doesn’t stop the hurt.”
A viselike grip squeezed his heart at her declaration. Why did he feel anything akin to sympathy toward her? She’d done every bit of this to herself, pulling him along for the ride.
“You don’t love me.” He dropped his hand and stepped back. “You don’t lie to someone and manipulate them, taking advantage of their weaknesses, when you love them.”
“I never lied to you before this and I won’t lie to you again,” she vowed, crossing her arms over her chest. “So when I tell you I love you, I’m being honest. I know my word means nothing to you, and I know I went about everything the wrong way. There is no excuse for my behavior, so I’m not going to stand here and try to make one.”
Luc watched as she pulled herself together, patting her damp cheeks, smoothing her hair behind her shoulders and standing tall.
Even through all this, she remained strong. He wanted to hate her, because that would be so much easier than to stand here and be torn in two. She’d betrayed the trust they had built, yet at the same time she had tried to keep her distance. He’d been the one to pursue the intimacy. He could look at this situation from so many angles, but none of them gave him the answer or made things any easier.
“You have every right to fire me—I deserve it. But if you insist on keeping me, I think it’s best if we keep our relationship professional and try to move on. That means no rehashing the mistakes I made. I can’t have you throwing them in my face.”
The longer she spoke, the stronger her voice got. The woman who’d emotionally professed her love for him just moments earlier had transformed back into the businesslike assistant he’d always known. Who was the real Kate?
Was she the loving, passionate woman back at the beach house? Was she the take-charge assistant, or was she the conniving woman who’d ruthlessly insinuated herself into his life when he’d been weak?
“I agree that from here on out, we’ll keep our relationship strictly professional.”
Luc prayed like hell he was telling the truth. He needed to keep his head on straight, focus on securing the title and not think about how much he’d fallen for his assistant.